Thursday, June 4, 2009

Control Your Child... Please

I have a friend who has two kids that drive me insane.... and it's not the kids' fault... I love my friend, I truly do.... but I don't want to talk to her kids on the phone.. especially if the kid cannot talk... and anyone that tells her it's cute.... besides grandparents is lying.... I'm betting it annoys the grandparents too... I remember one time she gave the phone to her Princess#1 and did not get back on the phone for almost two minutes.... since the kid didn't talk.. I could hear my friend going potty in the background..... not cute... not even a little.. Tip to parents that do this: Unless the caller asks to talk your babies... they don't want to talk to them... really

I had a free afternoon a while back and called my friend and asked her if she could join me for lunch.. Her husband works from home - so usually the two of us can have some quality time together.. She was available and met me at Mimi's, a cute little French Bistro type restaurant... When she arrived she had princess #2 with her.... My friend explained that as she was leaving the house, princess started to cry and she had to bring her.... Don't get me wrong - I love kids... I have a couple... I just wanted her and me time... So we tried to have a conversation between princess throwing her crackers.. banging her spoon.. and trying to get out of her high chair.. so what does my friend do? She takes princess out of the high chair and puts her on the ground.... in a restaurant!!! The kid starts running around... going under customer's tables... I'm sure everyone could see the look of horror and embarrassment on my face... We had not started eating our lunch yet!!! My friend starts to laugh and says something like "isn't she cute?" my answer "NO" I shouted in my head.... The customers around us about had enough because within five minutes the manager came and asked my friend to control her child - in a nice way.... My friend was really angry at the restaurant and the manager... Seriously..... Tip to parents that do this: Children should have freedom absolutely - but they must also have boundaries - allowing your child to run, scream loudly, or throw food in a restaurant is never acceptable.. if your child does that... leave. Parenting is about being inconvenienced at times.. many times.. People go to restaurants to enjoy a meal not to watch your kid running around "being cute"...

When my daughters were much smaller and were in a double stroller we used to go to the mall and window shop.... The girls were always eager to go because they knew after I was done "shopping" they would get to go Mac Donald's and get a happy meal... It became our little once a month tradition.. The stroller was also great for tying bags on.... Never once did my girls try to get out of the stroller.... they never complained.. we made our "mall adventures fun"...

Well my same friend and I met up at the mall a couple of weeks ago and this time she brought Princess #1 and #2.. I don't expect her to leave her kids home every time we get together.. seriously.. When the plans were made - she mentioned that her husband was going to watch them - so I kept my girls home too.... My girls love to play with her daughters so they would have tagged along too if I knew.. This trip to the mall was awful with a capital A - why? My friend said her daughters did not like the stroller and so they proceeded to run every which way... up the escalator... down the escalator... cutting people off - whining.... What could I say to my friend...? I witnessed her yelling at the restaurant manager... so I sucked it up and grinned... "Wow... this is just great"

I truly believe that my friendship with my friend will always be there. I will always love her and her girls... young children can make things difficult - that is just the way it is.... but children without boundaries can strain a friendship.. Of course, our children are always our priority as it should be.... but it is our job as parents to be responsible enough to train our children to behave well in public at every age... and unfortunately - the enjoyment I once had spending time with my friend is gone..... for now


  1. I'm sorry for this. I know how frustrating it can be as we have had our moments with our kids. Of course we remove them from the situation when possible. I feel for you and I hope that your friendship will be able to work through this and things get better.

    Does she read your blog? If she does she may know who you are talking about and it could hurt her feelings. Please don't get me wrong as your feelings are valid and I can totally understand how you feel

  2. I've had experiences like this, too. I chalk it up to differences in parenting styles and children's personalities, too. I try not to be too judgemental about it because hey, if she wants to chase them, let her. Not my kid, not my problem. Plus it always makes me feel great to be out with a friend like this and my kids look like ANGELS by comparison! ;)

  3. When my kids were younger I had a friend who I had the same kind of issues with. It was always diificult when her kids came along for the same reasons you mentioned - along with the embarassment! There really is no solution for this but good luck!

  4. Rachel - I agree my kids do look like angels...

    Casey- Great question! No, my friend does not read my blog and we do not share any mutual friends that do - I would never hurt her.. I know many people and family members have talked to her about her children. Kids act up - they all do. I guess my post was more about me missing my friend... than her children..

    Mari - I believe I lucked out like you said. I have always been able to take my kids everywhere since the day they were born - never cried, yelled, and never ran around.. But if they did my husband and I agreed that we would take our child outside or some place where she wasn't disturbing others.

    Thank you everyone for your thoughtful comments

  5. Kelly, I totally understand that as I have been exactly where you are! I just know that sometimes people can misread and she would get hurt. I pray that things change you don't lose your friend

  6. I understand. However, let me put it this way so no one gets singled out. Some of the hidden dangers in a restaurant are: carrying hot plates-potential to get burned, server doesn't see child at their feet-potential to trip and fall/break some bones for both. I would tell my friend that I NEEDED a sans children time and if we're being honest, we all need that. Our children need a sans parent time too. If my friend can't respect that then I need to find someone who does and have lunch with them instead. :)

  7. PS: Sans is French for without. Talk about how impressive that is. Seriously, talk about! :) Oh I'm having a little fun now but you strike me as someone with an awesome sense of humor and I love it!

  8. Oh Sew Good - I am SEW impressed.. seriously..
    Sans in now my new word...

    Have a great weekend.


  9. Hahaha! That's fantastic Kelly! Well written, and I sympathise entirely! It's amazing what some people let their kids get away with, and then the kids are the ones who cop the blame. Just a little discipline goes a loong way.

  10. I recently came accross your blog and have been reading alone. I thought i would leave my first comment. I don't know what to say except that i have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.



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