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Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Yes, I May React Before I Think


Like many women and/or men - I can be hot headed when it comes to my kids. I may react before I think... When someone hurts my kids - I can get angry... and today I reacted in a very immature fashion and posted my anger on my status on Face Book.. Yes, that was completely wrong... but I do have to say - that the person I was angry with is not on Face Book and I did not expect nor did I think I would anger anyone with my stupid status... I immediately was proven wrong. Someone did get offended and I am sorry for that....

One of the things I like about blogging is that if I need to - I can vent... I can vent to my heart's content and the focus of my anger will not be affected... After I am done venting... I can return to a healthy and sometimes healthier relationship... and in doing this - I have not hurt nor have I done harm to the person I am angry with... I get it out - I get it done....and my anger dissipates. I think this is healthy.... at least it is what works for me....I have no desire to get into a battle... nor do I desire to defend myself.... I am angry - I have a right to be. People say and do stupid things - I know I am guilty... God knows, I am.. But I do try not to lash out - I vent by blogging..... eating too much.... listening to Zeppelin... or saying something stupid on Face book...

I am a firm believer that adults need to handle themselves with maturity and not get into tit for tats with children... I am a firm believer that a child should find security in their parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles... I am a firm believer that two (2) wrongs do not make a right.... I am not blind to my kids' faults and teenage angst and attitudes. But an adult needs to not yell at a child... or criticize a child... or break promises to a child... I know no one is perfect- I totally get that... But when a mistake is made.... a real "I'm sorry" will do... followed by behavior that matches the humility of the situation...

I am by no means making excuses for my kids' behavior or lack of respect.... They should be corrected... But the correction Must be done out of maturity.... Must be done the right way....And when a child sincerely apologizes - the apology should be accepted and not turned away. A sincere apology should not be used for additional fuel to berate... To get crankier... angrier and yelling will Never make it right... It only makes things worse.. As adults it is our responsibility to set an example on how to deal with conflict...

There are many sides to a story... and I am sure every side has a completely different version and outlook... I may not have all the facts (I probably don't)... That is why I will not pick up the phone and confront the person I am angry with... It would not do anyone any good... Yes I am angry on what I do know... What I have seen in the past.... When a behavior has happened before it is very easy to expect the same behavior to happen again.... But I will let it go.... I will eat a cookie.. turn on Stairway to Heaven and finish this post..... and when I am done festering - I will be ready to be forgiving.... and forgetful.... and ready to be a grown up once more.....

7 comments:

  1. Parents are not perfect, though we often believe we have to be. I'm sorry are two very powerful words.

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  2. Sorry you had this happen. I think nothing pushes our buttons more than something happening to our kids, and most Mom's would understand that.

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  3. Your level of maturity far surpasses mine. I got fed up with a "friend" of mine disappointing my child that I came out "spewing" as they say. Needless to say, we're not speaking anymore. The bright side? My child is not hurt anymore. Was it worth losing a friend over healing my child's heart? Absolutely! Would I do it again? Push me enough and I might. But that's just me.

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  4. Kelly,

    Anger is an emotion that God has allowed us all to have for some very important reasons. Even Jesus got angry. I too, like you will on occasion use my blog to vent and when I do its nice to come back at times and see how I handled it. We are all still learning things everyday and each situation allows us the opportunity to try and get it right again.

    Once that emotion is removed from you, you'll be able to deal with things as you need to with a cool head and logical thinking. Pray about it too! God can really work on your heart if your willing.

    Love and Hugs ~ Kat

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  5. RYC: Thank you for what you said. I couldn't agree more. I think we'd probably need to set aside a few hours though, don't you?

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  6. It's hard not to react when someone hurts your kids. And you are right, there are times when it's best to not confront directly.

    "There's a sign on the wall
    But she wants to be sure
    'Cause you know sometimes words have
    Two meanings."

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  7. been there... done that! ;) wise words ... holding back when you know you are angry! I struggle with that! ;)

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