Yes, I May React Before I Think

Like many women and/or men - I can be hot headed when it comes to my kids. I may react before I think... When someone hurts my kids - I can get angry... and today I reacted in a very immature fashion and posted my anger on my status on Face Book.. Yes, that was completely wrong... but I do have to say - that the person I was angry with is not on Face Book and I did not expect nor did I think I would anger anyone with my stupid status... I immediately was proven wrong. Someone did get offended and I am sorry for that....

One of the things I like about blogging is that if I need to - I can vent... I can vent to my heart's content and the focus of my anger will not be affected... After I am done venting... I can return to a healthy and sometimes healthier relationship... and in doing this - I have not hurt nor have I done harm to the person I am angry with... I get it out - I get it done....and my anger dissipates. I think this is healthy.... at least it is what works for me....I have no desire to get into a battle... nor do I desire to defend myself.... I am angry - I have a right to be. People say and do stupid things - I know I am guilty... God knows, I am.. But I do try not to lash out - I vent by blogging..... eating too much.... listening to Zeppelin... or saying something stupid on Face book...

I am a firm believer that adults need to handle themselves with maturity and not get into tit for tats with children... I am a firm believer that a child should find security in their parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles... I am a firm believer that two (2) wrongs do not make a right.... I am not blind to my kids' faults and teenage angst and attitudes. But an adult needs to not yell at a child... or criticize a child... or break promises to a child... I know no one is perfect- I totally get that... But when a mistake is made.... a real "I'm sorry" will do... followed by behavior that matches the humility of the situation...

I am by no means making excuses for my kids' behavior or lack of respect.... They should be corrected... But the correction Must be done out of maturity.... Must be done the right way....And when a child sincerely apologizes - the apology should be accepted and not turned away. A sincere apology should not be used for additional fuel to berate... To get crankier... angrier and yelling will Never make it right... It only makes things worse.. As adults it is our responsibility to set an example on how to deal with conflict...

There are many sides to a story... and I am sure every side has a completely different version and outlook... I may not have all the facts (I probably don't)... That is why I will not pick up the phone and confront the person I am angry with... It would not do anyone any good... Yes I am angry on what I do know... What I have seen in the past.... When a behavior has happened before it is very easy to expect the same behavior to happen again.... But I will let it go.... I will eat a cookie.. turn on Stairway to Heaven and finish this post..... and when I am done festering - I will be ready to be forgiving.... and forgetful.... and ready to be a grown up once more.....

Learning From My Mistakes

I believe it is necessary to be honest with your children... When my kids ask me questions about my colorful past I answer them... Of course, I will not go into the microscopic details...but I do tell enough to answer the questions... My kids need to see me as a person who has made mistakes... who has made HUGE mistakes and has overcome them... or at least has learned from them... I am not proud of the things I have done but I do believe that my mistakes and experiences have helped me to have better discernment... have better BS detection... and have an understanding of the way the world is... the way my kids' world is.... I am not naive... As I have told my kids many times...
Been There.... Done That.... Wrote The Book! Nothing they can think up or do or want to do would surprise me... or shock me.... I am a woman... I was a teenager.. I was a child... and my memory is long.. my memory is great... my feelings and emotions were once like theirs... and in many ways still is....

I don't want my kids to learn from others my life's story.... I don't want secrets.. I don't want shame.... A good friend of mine told me a story once about her experience with a "secret".. A "secret" that she wasn't ready to share with her thirteen (13) year old daughter.... She told me how a good friend of hers was watching her kids.... and this "good" friend of hers decided to tell the story of her mother's (my friend) abortion.... On that night - my friend's daughter lost her innocence... lost seeing her mom as perfect.... It took many years for my friend and her daughter to make peace with this... the pain... the shame... the damage that was inflicted by a careless "friend"..... Today - my friend and her daughter are advocates for pro-life... and my friend made peace with God.... But this story should never have been told by the "friend" - it's a story that should have had the chance to be told by my friend...

In my honesty to my children - I want them to learn from my experiences... from my joys.. from my happiness.. from my sorrows.. and yes, from my mistakes... They will make plenty of their own mistakes and I pray they will learn and grow from them... But if my experiences can help them to avoid some of the pitfalls of life... I hope... I pray that they will....

Innocence Gone

Today I watched a movie trailer starring Dakota Fanning... I was stunned... What happened to the fairy child in "I am Sam" - or the little girl who loved her horse in "Dreamer"? In my mind's eye - I still see Dakoto dancing as a sweet ballerina in "Uptown Girls..... But girls... children grow up...



Dakota is an amazingly talented actress - in every movie that I have seen her in - I am swept away by her character... I feel her vulnerability - her sadness - her fear - her happiness - Her evilness in her most recent movie New Moon (Twilight). Dakota is a couple of years older than my girls.. They are growing up with her... They have seen her in Charlotte's Web, Dreamer, War of the Worlds, Sweet Home Alabama, Uptown Girls and more... The characters she plays could easily been been one of my kids' friends... well except for the vampire character..lol



When I saw the trailer for the new movie "The Runaways" about the early years of Joan Jett (played by Kristen Stewart) and Cherie Currie (played by Dakota) - I was shocked... No longer is Dakota an innocent little girl - or a she/girl vampire- she is in a movie that she could not get into a theater to watch without a parent.. My kids won't be watching this movie anytime soon.... What do you think of children making movies like this? I think that sadly some if not all of the innocence of childhood is gone....

The Photo Scavenger Hunt

Last Sunday my kids participated in a photo scavenger hunt... They had a laundry list of things to do.. I love the fact that our church offers a good youth program. A place where the kids can go and be crazy... have fun... be safe.. and learn about fellowship....

Find Cookies for Eyes...




Dance with a guy in a red jumpsuit... (this parent has a good sense of humor)



Stand In A toilet..



Hug A Stranger (he looked thrilled)



Paint half your face (good look...)



Jump for Joy



Mummify someone in a public place

Sex Texting The New Party Line?

I think when a woman becomes a mom - God gives her the gift of radar/intuition....The ability to know when something just is not right.. There might not be any real and obvious signs - but there's just this feeling we get... A feeling in the pit of our stomach that something just isn't right....

My daughter had befriended a girl a couple of years ago at school... When I met this girl there was something about her that just rang wrong - red flags were popping out all over her - as time went on - my dislike grew larger... The girls did not see each other outside of school so I did not forbid my kid from being her friend - As hard it is for me - I had to allow my kid to learn from her choices in friends.. If I protected her and sheltered her then - how would she learn? Backing off and watching from a distance is something very hard for me to do... My very high "A" personality trait makes me want to take over.. take charge.. protect at all cost...

Yesterday I noticed that my kid was texting a lot more than usual.. I would walk by her and ask who she was talking so much with and she said the girl I don't like.. Out of curiosity, I asked her what they were talking about and she said they were talking about movies, music, and clothes.. I said okay and walked away... As the day progressed my kid had her cell with her every where she went and this is NOT usual behavior. After the newness of the cell phone wore off- she would go days without it and all of a sudden it was her life line? The first feeling of something wasn't right started to hit me... but I let it go....

Last night as I was going to bed - I just got a feeling - a little voice in my head telling me that I needed to find out what was going on with all the texting.... So I went into my kid's room and took her cell... (Now for those you that may read this - I do NOT see this as invasion of privacy - she is 13 years old and I will be a parent and I will check on things if I feel something is not right...) She had deleted all the incoming texts - there were two (2) left but she did not delete her outgoing... Without going into detail - I did the right thing.... and from my daughter's responses she realized she was way over her head... In an around about way - I have to say I'm proud of her... Not for starting what she did but for realizing what she was doing was wrong...

This morning I asked my daughter who a certain boy was.... She said "how did you find out?" I told her that I had a mom's feeling... She crawled into bed with me and told me everything that happened... She told me that the girl who I don't like had hooked her up with this boy via cellphone who claimed to be a christian.. who claimed to be a "good boy" until he started asking her to do things that no child should hear.... Yep, my kid was introduced to the world of sex texting by the girl I do not like.... My daughter shared how she felt awful and how her stomach started to hurt... She said that she asked him to stop texting her.. I did see those texts... My kid learned a huge lesson..... My child cried.... she said this is not what she wanted but she did not know that until it happened.. I thought that was a very wise statement...

I did not punish her for the type of texting she got herself into - I believe she is punishing herself enough - but I did take her cell phone away for a week.. One of the rules with the cell phone was no calls or texting with boys... She's 13 and she is NOT allowed to date and she broke a rule.... I remember when I was her age and there were party lines. (the 70/80's version of texting) We would accidentally on purpose hit a party line when a phone had a busy signal - that is where we would meet boys... I remember yelling through the beep beep beep - and my parents heard me in the other room... I broke the rules - I too was not allowed to talk to boys and my phone was taken away..... hmmm
As I have stated before -

I HAVE BECOME MY MOTHER!

Respect Is Not An Option

One of the things I am having the most difficult time dealing with is the highs and lows of my hormonal daughters.. I don't remember acting this way when I was their age - maybe it's because my parents were stricter.... or maybe I have blacked out that particular emotion - who knows but I am running out of patience .... and I do not like it!

Last night was open house at their school... I was browsing through my 6th grader's class and she was showing me the different projects she and her friends had completed so far this year - then... walks in the boy - the boy she has a major crush on... All of sudden - she is talking to me in a voice of disrespect like nothing I had ever heard.... No flipping idea where it came from... She starts walking away from me when I was talking - it was crazy.. All because the boy that she likes walked in? I did not want to embarrass her so I waited until we were out of the room to ask her what the heck was wrong with her.. and she said she did not now.....

Later we went to the open quad where a band was playing - my junior higher wanted to go hang and dance with a few of her posse friends while I went to the silent auction and gym to view the Art Masters - I told her I would be back in about a half hour or so.... She acted like she did not know me and gave her water bottle to my other daughter who promptly said she did not want to hold it - the junior higher looked at both of us like we were crazy and turned around with her nose up in the air.... I tell you this behavior - although I believe it is pretty typical -it is not something I find acceptable..

Today when I arrived at the school to pick up the kids my 6th grader told me she wanted to spend the night with her friend - I thought it would be fine - her friend was trying to call her mom but kept getting voice mail - I told her that we'll call later to see if it could would work out... My kid did not like that option - she wanted me to just let her wait for the mom and kind of push herself on them and go to her friend's house - the attitude - I tell you.... What was funny was her little friend was watching this exchange and she said if I treated my mom like you are treating your mom - I wouldn't be going anywhere except home to write 1000 sentences saying, "I will respect my parents".... At that moment, I think my kid got it - what she was doing was not cool.. it was stupid... it was disrespectful...

I realize that both of my girls are growing up - finding themselves - thinking their friends - their crushes are more important.... I completely get that... But Respect is NOT an Option..... I will demand respect and if talking doesn't work - if discipline doesn't work..... I could always take them to school in a bathrobe and curlers.... or better yet a bikini..... Now that I believe would scare them straight.... Let's hope for the parents and children of their school it doesn't come to that!

Private Or Public - That Is The Question

I am in the middle of the one of the hardest decision I have had to make.... There are so many factors that affect my decision.. and I am completely torn... Do I keep my kids in the private Christian school they are in and allow them to go through to their senior year or do I pull them out and have them start high school and middle school in the public school system this fall?

Pros For Staying in Private

Excellent education
Uniforms
All their friends are there
High Christian and Moral values
Convenient

Cons For Staying Private
Expensive

Pros For Going Public
Great Tennis team (both girls play)
Prom and dances
Good education
Free

Cons For Going Public
No friends
The "real" world
Christian values are not a priority
20 miles round trip a day - to/ from and to/from...

Another thing that I have to do - for whatever reason our neighborhood tract goes to a different city school district - and it is awful..... So in order for my kids to go to the school they should be going to - they have to take Japanese - yep, you read that right!!!! I'm trying to figure out if that is a pro or con for public....

What would you do?


Public



Private

My Kids Miss Me...

When my oldest daughter was born - I knew that I would not.... could not work outside of the home. I wanted to be there for ALL her firsts... So I started my own contract processing business. It was the best time in the market to make that change - Contractors were in high demand and my little business fell into place perfectly... The business took off so fast that I ended up hiring a full time nanny to help... I was still in the home and could see Nikki anytime.... Baby #2 came into our lives and our hearts and I was lucky enough to continue as status quo. I was able to be mommy and still help with the family finances..... I had the best of both worlds... Two incredible kids, bringing in an income, and being able to stay at home....

Now fast forward thirteen (13) years.... The kids are doing great - They are both very high academic achievers - both have a lot of outside activities - from tennis to youth group to everything else in between... They are both basically very happy kids except..... they both miss me... They both want my undivided attention... They both want to cuddle.... they both want to talk and be silly..... and they are tired of coming into my office to see me... Even though my office is in our home - at times it might as well be somewhere else....

My problem is that I love what I do - I really do... I thrive on the busyness of doing multiple tasks at once - I thrive on being self employed and not having to work for someone else.... And call me crazy - I sometimes like working all day.... all night.... But with that said - my kids are not loving it....

This is a common problem among working moms - where is the line? Many times we don't have a choice.... In today's economy we want to provide what's best for our family and working is something that many of us have to do.... There are moms out there that are completely against working moms and believe that certain sacrifices need to be made and that's okay but I'm not one of those moms.... My priority in this season in my life is to continue working so that my kids won't have to when they go away to University.... My priority is to go on incredible journeys with my kids... Go to Disneyland with them as much as possible.... My priority is to spend quality time with them and making it count...

I am glad that I can work from home and I love that my kids still love to be with me... I am a very lucky mom and I know I need to put boundaries on my work time and I am working on that but with that said - college is in a very short 4.5 years and I want my kids to soak it in - love it... remember it and not have to worry.....

What do you think?

My Kid Learned The "F" Word In Bible Class

I'm driving my kids home from their ultra conservative Christian school and my oldest daughter tells me she learned all about the "F" word in bible class... I'm sure my eyes bugged out as my mouth hit the gas pedals.... What???? This is the school that had my kid empty out the goody bags I brought to school for Halloween because they had pumpkins on them... The pumpkins were considered pagan by the school/church - my church has a different take on the pumpkin - but whatever...

She said that her bible teacher said in the olden days - soldiers would take over villages and the king of the soldiers gave a command for the soldiers to rape/fornicate the women and kill the men... Raping was the most demeaning thing they could do the villagers... This is how villages were taken over.....

Fornication
Under
Command
of the King...


I was pretty shocked they would talk about the "F" word - but I think the main reason for the discussion was to teach the kids how awful that word really is. I'm thinking the next time one of those junior highers wants to say the word they might think twice..... I know I would... Just the imagery alone is enough - don't you think? I'm also thinking my kid probably told me the story because as I have shared on this blog a time or two - I am guilty of using that bomb a little more often than I should...

**Note - I googled the origins of the word and it stated this story however popular is not true - but personally - if it works to keep kids from saying this word then that's okay with me....

Squirt Time

This morning my kids informed me that our family is different than All of their friends... First I thought that comment was funny because I remember as a kid that I thought ALL my friends lived in a far more fun and cool home.... So I asked my kids - What makes us different...

Well, we want to go to Lauren's house because her parents let her eat candy whenever she wants.. and if we go over - Lauren said that her parents would buy more candy for us..... She doesn't have to ask like we do....

Well, when I go to Disneyland with Emily her dad - has "squirt time" and makes us wash our hands with hand sanitizer after every ride ... And when we get to her house - we have to take our shoes off and go wash our hands..... You don't care if we wear shoes in the house and if we wash our hands or not....

Well, Lizzie parents let her date boys..... (she's 13) - You don't even let me talk on the phone to boys.. (she has never had a call from a boy to test this theory - but I like her way of thinking!)

Well, all my friends get to stay up late... You make me go to bed by 10:30!

What made me laugh the most was after hearing their numerous "complaints" - I realized more than ever - that Yes, I HAVE BECOME MY MOTHER! and you know what? That's not a bad thing..... On a side note - my youngest thinks that Emily's dad is a little weird with the "Squirt Time".......

When Parents Don't Get It...

When I was a child - there were expectations of me.... I was to be respectful to adults.. I was to say "please" and "thank you".... I was to behave myself... I remember my mom pinching me during church service when I was getting a little too wiggly or in my case a lot of wiggly... That's just the way it was back then - Parents controlled their kids - If you went to a restaurant and a child started to act up - one or both of the parents would take that child out of the room - they would not continue to eat their food and not care about others.... that just wasn't done... We as children learned at a very young age to "not touch" what wasn't ours... We knew not to run around a home that was not ours - we just knew because our parents took it upon themselves to parent us..... they sacrificed their wants and needs to make sure they we were presentable to others... That others would not be burdened by our bad behavior...

My husband and I were pretty much on the same page when it came to parenting. We believed in creating an environment that was both happy and healthy but also had boundaries... Kids need boundaries... I believe they want boundaries. Right from the beginning they were both on a sleeping schedule - maybe I was lucky that both girls were good sleepers... maybe - I know that a schedule helped me to be a better parent and the girls knew what to expect... We took them to restaurants from the time they were newborns and when they got older they would quietly color -we never had to leave - not once. We took them to friends' homes - we brought our own snacks and toys to entertain them and if they started to get cranky then we knew it was time to go.. One of my favorite things to do was take the double stroller and we would go to the mall and window shop and afterward we would go to the food court where they would get a happy meal.. I can honestly say that I enjoyed my kids... others did too. It is such a compliment when a stranger comes up to you and says "thank you for having good girls" that has happened more than once.... I think the only time my kids acted up was when they visited their grandparents because with Nana and Papa - there were no boundaries but there was a lot of candy, ice cream, games, and constant attention.. constant stimulation which caused a few melt downs...

I'm not saying we are perfect parents - so very far from it but I will say that being a parent who actually parents was and is a priority to us.... That is why I have such a hard time understanding why some parents just don't get it.... They complain how difficult it is to bring their kids places and when they do - they allow the kids to run around a restaurant or a friends' home. They allow the kids to get into things and when something breaks they tell the friend "You should have put it away or up" That just irks me... No, it's not the friend's responsibility to "kid proof" their home - it's the parents' responsibility to train their children...

The "Lady" Who Freaked At Target

As parents we often tell our children to be nice. Play nicely with your neighbor - share your toys... Don't say bad words... Show respect to your elders... Say thank you and please... Don't double dip...

The other day I was doing my weekly grocery shopping at Target with my girls.. I was in line to pay for my groceries and this lady (I say this very loosely) in front of me had two (2) beautiful young children with her..... She was yelling at the cashier because an item that she saw on Target's web site was not in the store.. I am very serious.. The cashier offered to track the item and discovered the item can only be bought through the Target web site...

The F bombs - the S bombs - the every bad word you can imagine bombs just started exploding out of this mother of two beautiful kids.... In addition to yelling - the "lady" started throwing her coins at the cashier.... What I found really sad is that her kids seem oblivious to this over the top lunatic rant.... My kids stood there with their mouths just about hitting the floor...

The "lady" was causing such a stir... all 12 lines that were open stopped to watch... All the customers and fellow cashiers just stood there as this poor cashier is getting pelted with quarters.. No security coming to her rescue - no managers walking our way.... So I'm thinking something has to be done.... (I'm lucky I didn't get pelted or belted).. As the lady was taking more change to throw - I grabbed her elbow.... I said, "Throw another quarter and I will personally see you arrested".... my eyes were angry... my voice was deep and shaky.. The "lady" looked at me - angry at first..... then reality must have hit her - her eyes did a 180.... As I saw the transformation in her appear - I said, " I feel sorry for your beautiful children to have a mother that can't even control herself... shame on you"... Right about this time - security came.. The woman was escorted from the store....

It amazes me how grown adults can act like this.... Throwing temper tantrums in a public forum because they can't get what they want.... I feel so very sorry for those children.... Growing up with an abusive parent. We as parents set the example for behavior...... What example was this "lady" setting for her children???

Have you ever seen something like this?

My Kids Are Night and Day...

It is funny to me how my children can be so different from each other..... They are both raised in the same home.. the same parents... the same values... the same rules.... the same love - but they are as different as night and day...

One loves anything chocolate - the other is NOT a chocolate fan.

One loves to run and play and has a lot of energy - the other would rather watch TV

One loves to spend time with me.. all the time - the other rather be alone.

One is a joyful helper - the other rather be helped...

One has a great attitude - the other has a storm brewing overhead...

Today - I had to take a privilege away - a privilege that my troubled one claims to love.... But because of her horrible attitude and disrespect to her coach she can no longer play tennis... There has been months of warnings... months of second and third and fourth time chances to make it right.... Today - I had to discipline.... and I hate it...... Being a parent is tough - Not knowing if you are making the right decisions can be heart breaking.....

Today, I am praying for the knowledge and words to enter the heart of my negative one... I see she is lonely..... I see that her negative attitude has prevented her from having a lot of happiness and friends... She has so many wonderful gifts - she is smart... she is funny..... she has a giving and loving heart.... I wish she knew what a treasure she is......

Lie To Me

One of my new favorite shows is 'Lie To Me'. It started last year and it hooked me on the first show... It's about a business that specializes in reading people to determine if they are telling the truth or not... I love the way they will show a body gesture of someone they are interrogating and compare it with a body gesture of a well known liar - I would love to have that talent with my kids.. or maybe not.. Maybe sometimes ignorance is bliss... I haven't decided on that one yet.

As most shows do eventually it tries to draw you into the personal lives of the characters. A show is never happy just presenting the fun stuff - like finding the truth tellers and the liars... The show wants you to connect with the people in it too. The main character is a divorced dad - he also is the owner of the business and the King of the reading people... He has a young teenage daughter and an ex wife that he still loves on occasion..

Last week's episode kind of made me mad - I would love to hear your opinion too.

The story line was a member of a fraternity was accused of raping a minor. The minor was a girl in the same clique as the owner's daughter. The owner/dad was asking his daughter if she knew these girls and she pretended to not really know them.... He could read that she was lying.. He walked into her bedroom - where her body language showed that she was hiding something... He opened the drawer and found two fake identification cards and birth control pills... The daughter is mad and yelling at her dad... The ex-wife comes in and says he should have left the pills alone - at least she hasn't started taking them yet......

As it turns out the girl that was "raped" set up the entire seduction - posing as a college girl and to add insult to injury she tapes it - the camera is found and some knuckle head posts it on the Internet. When the owner/father looks at the camera - he finds his daughter's picture posing with the rest of the seduction posse at her school.. Granted the daughter was not part of the seduction thing... But she did use the fake ID's to get into clubs.... and the pills were just in case.... The end of the show.. the father returns the pills to his daughter and hugs her..... show over.. That really got my goat!

As parents - I believe it is our duty to try our best to have our kids not grow up too fast.. There is a reason the legal age to drink is 21... I would not allow my 15/16 year old kid to have a fake ID... and go on the pill... I hope that my kids will wait until they are older.... I am not blind and ignorant to the fact there is a possibility that my kid may go on the pill without my knowledge.... (I did) but I would not drive her to the clinic... I would not hug her and say it's great you're on the pill..... or that I am so proud of you for thinking of safety... I would be saying "What the heck (I believe my words would be a little more colorful) are you thinking - You're 15 years old... You're 16 years old.. Getting pregnant would be least of your problems, Missy!" I don't believe we should condone under age drinking and pre-martial sex - I think we need to make it as difficult as possible for them to attend a "drinking party" or have alone time with their boyfriend or any other guy for that matter... I am not going to let it be easy for them to do any of these things.... and if my kid decides to have sex - I really don't want to know about it..... because if I do - I have no idea how I would handle it... I would love to say - I would handle it with love and understanding.... but until it (and I hope it won't) happens - I'm just going to have to wonder....

The Tree Project

Today my youngest is doing her tree report - she needs to find the scientific name of a tree and state five (5) facts about this tree... In addition - she must supply plenty of pictures.. This got me to thinking... (I know that is a dangerous thing).... How would my kid do her project in less than one week if we did not have a computer to use?

Having a computer in the house with a color printer has become the requirement in most households... It's crazy - Thankfully, we can afford to have one - but what about the families in lower income areas - when just putting food on the table is an accomplishment? I remember when I was in the 6th grade and I was to do a report on Brazil. I had to write a letter to the Brazil tourist board and hope that they would send plenty of pictures and information for my report.. To get more information - I had to use my library card and copy down all I could out of the encyclopedia.. In those days, copiers and scanners were not items you would find in your local library.. Times have definitely changed...

So the scientific name of her tree is...(drum roll please)

Archontophoenix cunninghamiana

We chose this tree because we have a few - the leaves are easy to get... and they are pretty. Can you guess the common name from the pictures?

Monday After School Special

How does my kid not see this mess - I could not concentrate on my homework if this was on the floor..... at least at the age of 43 - at 13... I think my mom would vouch that I'd give this kid a run for her money when I was her age.... I have definitely become my mother!




My youngest came home not feeling well today - the nurse said she had a slight fever of 99.8.. Hmmmm, I wonder if she read it right - this is my youngest... How do you think she is feeling???







She did feel up to reading her book for her book report due this Friday....



You just got to love Mondays.....

A Music Generation Gap In My House!!

There is a huge generation gap in my house!!! Today, Dusty and Nikki were cleaning out the garage.... Nikki asked Dusty if they could listen to her kind of music... Dusty thinking that he was still hip.... still into the scene... said "Absolutely".. I think he secretly wanted to show his eldest that he still knew his music... that he was a cool dude.. a cool with-it dad....

So they are cleaning the garage and I walk out to change the clothes from the washer to the dryer and I heard the most hideous music... screeching really... My comment wasn't the best thing I have ever said.. "This music makes me want to throw something through the wall - it's awful.... it's irritating the H E double hockey sticks out of me" Yep, I said the H E double hockey sticks word..... If you read my blog- you would know that I am working on my F bombs and other various letter bombs - so H E double hockey sticks is pretty good for me.. any hoo... Dusty pipes in and says that "I Agree! - this is awful"

I remember the day when my parents would say my music was awful... that it was screeching and what the heck was I listening too - how could I understand the words..
I guess the title of my blog is true once again... I've HAVE Become My Mother.....

Her Music..... this is what I walked in today..


My Music.... this what my parents walked in to twenty-six (26) years ago..


Who's music do you think is better?

Do Not Ask Me To Buy Anything!

The other day - I was at Target with my girls.. Before we left home I advised both girls that if they want to come with me they cannot ask for anything... My kids have enough junk - both good and bad and I was on my way to grocery shop not kid shop. Both girls agreed and we took off. Before we got out of the car in the parking lot - I once again advise the girls ' DO NOT ASK FOR ANYTHING....... Once again the girls agreed...

We were not in the store two (2) minutes before my eldest asked for something - another purse to add to her collection of five (5) perfectly fine purses she already has... I gave her the "be quiet" look.... She chose to ignore that look.. then I hear the P L E A S EEEEEEEEEE and I said "no" - she says she'll pay for it.... I ask her with what money - she already spent her allowance and the next two weeks allowance on other things she "really needed" Then the whining starts and the pleasseee keeps going... I head for the door - the kids quickly follow. They know I am beyond mad - my thirteen year old practically threw a three (3) year old fit for a purse... I tell both of them that we are going home.... then I proceed to lecture my eldest as we are walking to the the car.... how I told her not to ask.... How she tries to spend money she does not have.... How embarrassed she must feel for causing a scene... blah blah blah....

Then I hear a voice behind me..... "I think she understands...." I turn around and there was an elderly woman... This lady says "I think she understands.. that you are mad... How many ways do you think you have to tell her?" I had no idea what to say this this woman - who I had never seen before..... Bud out? Who do you think you are? Thank you? Nosy much? I just looked at her - and turned around.... but she made me think....

How many times does it take for a thirteen year old to hear me? When will my daughter understand the concept of money? When will she learn that she cannot take or have something just because she wants it? How often do I lecture her? How loud am I when I Lecture her? Does she tune out the lecturing? Am I doing it right? Am I doing it wrong?

So I took the kids home - I got back into the car and went to Target by myself - finished the grocery shopping by myself... and I missed my kids.....

Martyr Dad

Many times as a parent and as a wife - I have had to pretend that I was having a great time... Because that is what you do to make others happy.. not all the time but most of the time..... Example: I am not a big fan of golf but I have "happily" joined my husband on the course a time of two.. Why? Because he likes it.... The same goes for the golf, baseball, football, hockey, racing, and Discover Channel.... He has control over the remote and sometimes just to spend "quality" time with my spouse of 20 years - I suck it up - with a happy smile...
As a mom - pretending to have a great time is just part of the growing pains of having kids.... Don't get me wrong - I love love seeing my kids have fun - but I would not be going to Chuck E Cheese for my own enjoyment... Thank God they have both outgrown that hell hole... Sorry for the language folks but you gotta know that is my idea of hell - Chuck E Cheese and a million kids that are not my own... Get me out of here..... But of course, I did not scream - I smiled and pretended I was having a great ole time... Why? Because it made my girls happy and that makes me happy...
Last weekend we were in Las Vegas and trying desperately to find a place for the kids to have fun... the pool time was over (8 hours of pool slide bliss) The kids suggested the Excalibur - there's a Midway with carnival type games.. I personally love throwing ping pong balls into plastic dishes in a tub of water..... seriously, I do... Well Dusty (the husband) has made it perfectly clear that he does not like playing these games - You only had to look at him to know he was not having a good time.. the pained look on his face.. The "I don't want to play" comments... the eye roll when I pulled another $5 bill out of my purse.... I think every mother has seen these looks on their husband's faces a time or two....
After about a half hour of his martyrdom - I wanted to scream so instead of being lunatic mom and wife - I asked Dusty to figure out what we should do since he despised the games we were trying to play... He suggested the Luxor - he was under the impression that the kids would want to see The Body Exhibition - I was seriously wondering if he even knew his kids after that comment.. but I did not say a word.. So we walk the "not short" trek to The Luxor - we go to the very center of the pyramid - the kids get wind of Dusty's idea for The Body and I suddenly hear a high pitched chorus of "I don't want to see any dead bodies.." So I ask Dusty to figure out what we are going to do and I pop a squat on a bench - my calve muscles were killing me trying to keep up with his stride..
The girls and I are sitting on the bench... Dusty joins us on the bench.... and we sit... not saying a word..... and we sit some more....... Dusty finally says, "You want to go get dinner?" Seriously..... he asks me that.... Where I ask?... He suggests an Italian restaurant that he and I like but the kids hate... which we quickly heard protests from both of the all girls' choir of protesters..... So we walk all the way back to The Excalibur... all the way to the car at the very end of the outside parking lot... in the 107 degree heat.. We ended up at some hole in the wall that made the best Strawberry Margaritas this side of Mexico, ole........

I'm Saying Yes - Today

Many days I feel like all I do is say no.... No, you cannot stay up to 1 am - No, you cannot have popcorn for breakfast, No, I am not taking you shopping, No, you cannot buy a pay per view movie... no no no no

Today, I decided to just say yes and surprise the heck out of the kids... Mom is being nice today.....

Tomorrow, I will be back to No, No, No, No - sometimes you just got to shake things up a little....