Monday, May 16, 2011

The Invisible Mom...

Sunday morning I was sitting in my office feeling a lot little sorry for myself... I was having a "Mommy Pity Party"... You know the party... where the mom feels unappreciated... overwhelmed.. invisible to her husband and kids... In the middle of my party - I decided to check my emails... I received an email from an old friend of mine - titled Invisible Mom... Coincidence? I think not... Thank you Janice....

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way
one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be
taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'

Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping
the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see
me at all. I'm invisible.. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of
hands, nothing more! Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this??

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock
to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is
the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'

Some days I'm a crystal ball; 'Where's my other sock?, Where's my phone?,
What's for dinner?'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes
that studied history, music and literature -but now, they had disappeared
into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going,
she's gone!?

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a
friend from England . She had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she
was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there,
looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to
compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when she
turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you
this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe .

I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription:
'With admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one

In the days ahead I would read - no, devoured - the book. And I would
discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I
could pattern my work: 1) No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we
have no record of their names. 2) These builders gave their whole lives for
a work they would never see finished. 3) They made great sacrifices and
expected no credit. 4) The passion of their building was fueled by their
faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A story of legend in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the
cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird
on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you
spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by
the roof, No one will ever see it And the workman replied, 'Because God

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost
as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you. I see the sacrifices you
make every day, even when no one around you does.

No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've
baked, no Cub Scout meeting, no last minute errand is too small for me to
notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see
right now what it will become.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of
the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work
on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went
so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime
because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's
bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the
morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a
turkey for 3 hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would
mean I'd built a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home.
And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, he'd say, 'You're
gonna love it there...'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're
doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel,
not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the
world by the sacrifices of invisible mothers.

The Will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect
To all the wonderful mothers out there!!
May God give you...
For every storm, a rainbow,
For every tear, a smile,
For every care, a promise,
And a blessing in each trial.
For every problem life sends,
A faithful friend to share,
For every sigh, a sweet song,
And an answer for each prayer.


  1. That was so good! Thanks for sharing.

  2. I'm following you back. Love your title. I have soooo become my mother! Thank you for the follow.

  3. I'm the Invisible Dad, following you back, thanks!

  4. I've read this before, and it always makes me cry! Thanks for posting it. And thanks for stopping by and following my blog. I'm following you back. - Amy (Motherhood and Miscellany)

  5. Oh wow, I really needed to read this. I had my pity party on Saturday and just cried for a few hours, it helped and so did this. Thank you! You have no idea how much I needed this today.

  6. I had to stop by after your comment over at Always Just A Mom because the title of your blog cracks me up!!! Love it!

    Thanks for sharing over at my blog and I'm now your newest follower :)

    Have a great week!

  7. That was beautiful. Sometimes we need a little reminder of what our job as mother's is really about.

  8. I have read this before and I love it!

    Following you back! :)

    Celebrating Family

  9. Thank for stopping by.
    I'm following you back!

  10. I also wanted to tell you that I stole the Twilight Widget from your Wall (borrowed really), just to make my 10 yr old Daughter happy!

  11. The beauty we're building in silent and daily ways... I'm seeing a portion of that in this season as my eldest just graduated from college. He's moving on this fall, and while I'm excited for his becoming, I can't help but want to hold him a little longer. I've got a few more birds to carve into him!

    I think I have this book about the invisible woman. Can't remember the author, but remember reading this before. I think she was speaker at Women of Faith.


  12. What a beautiful post, thank you for sharing!

    Following you from VoiceBoks!~Lisa
    I am all a twitter about life

  13. I loved that! I found you on vB. I'm so glad!

  14. I LOVED this!! Thank you so much for sharing. It puts so much in perspective for me :)

  15. oh my, that was really beautiful! Thank you for sharing it, I feel invisible a lot, thank you for a different perspective.




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