This week I started therapy... When I shared this information with a few family and friends - everyone I told thought that it was great... That kind of confused me a little.... Did these people think I needed therapy? Or are they just supporting my decision? When I told my mother in law - she thought it was great... she said I should check out Prozac too.... What??? She shared that she has been taking a very small dosage for a while and she believes her life is more bright... She told me that she wakes up in the morning and the birds are singing and she is happy... I'm really not a "happy bird-singing kinda girl" but okay... Whatever works....
One of the questions that the therapist asked me is haunting me today.... She asked if I felt there was someone in my life who I can confide in... someone who loves me... And my first thought was "No"... It's not to say that my family and friends don't love me... I have no doubt they do... But in my mind - there was not one person who I can just dump on.. There isn't one person who really has the time to listen to my worries... It sounds kind of lonely granted - but I think in reality most people feel the same as I do.... Many Christians will say give it to God... and that sounds all well and good but the fact is - God puts people in our lives for fellowship... for support, and for love... We just need to nurture and develop those relationships... and at times it is so hard to do that... Family and work responsibilities can take over our lives and the next thing we know - a year has gone by and we wonder where the hell it went....
I know the first step in making things better is admitting to ourselves that we need help... And I am doing that... We also have to act on the positive steps to get better.... I am working on that... I know I have a long and difficult road ahead of me - but I am looking forward to healing.. I am looking forward to learning the tools that I need to be healthier.... and who knows - I might just become a "happy-bird singing kinda girl"... it could happen.....
I've missed you. I think it probably took a lot of courage to write this post.
ReplyDeleteI think it is wonderful that you have started this process! I often joke that I have spent the equivlent of a small house on all the therapy I have had. It has all helped me learn about myself and grow into the woman that I am today, which is someone I really like. Good luck on your journey!
ReplyDeleteIt's good to hear from you again. Good for you for taking this step. I'm sure it'll be something you will be glad you did.
ReplyDeleteGood for you! Hope you have a good therapist. I've done it a couple times over the years and it has helped me so much. I wish you the best.
ReplyDeleteGlad to see you are back and writing. Talking to a therapist will do you some good in that talking about thoughts that are running around your head with someone who can give you insight is a very good thing. Sometimes, it's just the act of sharing that will help you see things in a new light.
ReplyDeleteYou are very brave. Taking a step to say you need help is hard to do and taking the step is harder still. I agree that God sends people to help you. You go girl!
ReplyDeleteI'm proud of you sis! I had to ask myself the same question in the beginning! It's definitely a process and one that I've been on for 5 yrs. I can tell you that even though there are some hard times on this journey, it is so worth it! I know from personal experience that God brings both worlds together (doctors and faith) and uses them both to start healing! Love you lots! Debbie
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