Today I am to start praying for Dusty's heart. Pray for three specific areas where I desire for God to work in Dusty's life and our marriage. My first thought was only three? I have so many...
I could sit here and give you a list of all the things I want to change but I won't. If you have been reading this blog I am sure you already know what we need. I can not change Dusty. I don't have a magic wand and boom he's my prince charming. He's exactly the man I married 20 years ago. But for the past nineteen and half years I have been trying to change...Isnt' that crazy.. It's frustation at the highest level to try to change someone. It's like trying to change my dog into a cat....It just can't be done! And you know what - there's no guarantee that following this love dare is going to do anything to Dusty's heart....but I can feel mine changing everyday. I can honestly say my heart has grown a larger capacity for tolerance and patience. I can make myself change..with God's help..
I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Dusty is noticing a difference. I also know that hes testing me to see how I will react to something. Just the little things that would normally get a rise out of me. Asking the same question over and over again because he doesn't like my first answer...that could drive a saint insane...today I didn't let it affect me. And if you thinking did I change my answer....well no I did not.
Today Dusty made sacrifices for me. He flew in from Arizona around 4:30 tonight we had to pick up the kids for tennis at 5:00. Dusty is very anxious to get home to his comfortable surroundings after traveling. But today, he went with me to mom's house. She recently fractured her pelvis and is in a lot of pain. I promised to help her. In addition to that he took me to my favorite restaurant in Long Beach as a surprise. I don't think he would have considered doing that two weeks ago.....
I am not going to say things are easy..because they are not... They are better than before but we do have a long road a head of us.
I know prayer works and know God wants that relationship with me. I also know that He wants Dusty and I to be happy. He just wants me to ask Him and pray to Him to intercede in our marriage. I know God can "fix" Dusty and our marriage more than I can... Who knows maybe it's me that needs more of the fixing...So today, I will start praying for Dusty and our marriage everyday. I will pray with a caring and loving heart.
Tomorrow I am to love in spite of negative issues. Until then
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