Friday, April 3, 2009
The Love Dare Day 29
Today I was to pray for Dusty and say I love you and show to him I love him in some tangible way.. I am learning to love Dusty...some days it is hard to let things go and not go back to my old ways of arguing. There are some instances that he can be so arrogant and condensing that I just want to scream...but I have learned to count to ten...say a quick prayer for control of my mouth and my actions..God I have discover is so much in control that it is awe inspiring... When I practice my God given control, Dusty is surprised.
Dusty knows when he is being a butthead...and when I don't explode, he comes to me and thanks me for my attitude...and for not yelling. I think Dusty is working on his tendency to be sarcastic and arrogant...I'm seeing less of it...but time to time it still rears its ugly head. I can change how I react to him....I keep repeating that to myself.
Today was one of those days when his arrogance and sarcasm came to the surface..All it was really was a miscommunication and I had to let it go. I am glad we were on the phone...and not face to face...it gave me the chance to just give it to God.. By the time he made it home...I was better and he did apologize and I didn't have to say a thing...he did it on his own. See this biting my tongue is working.. I might need to see the dentist soon..just kidding.
From the The Love Dare Day 29, "It doesn't take much experience to discover that your mate will not always motivate your love. In fact, many times they will de-motivate it....But when God is your reason for loving, your ability to love is guaranteed. The love that's demanded from you in marriage is not dependent on your mate's sweetness or suitability . The love between a husband and wife should have one chief objective: honoring the Lord with devotion and sincerity."
Basically when he is being arrogant, sarcastic, and basically a butthead, I need to love him anyway. I can't base my love on what he does or doesn't do. With that said..my marriage has changed for the better and I am excited on what's to come...We are making plans again..first time in years. Plans for the two of us to do something fun and romantic..yes romantic imagine that..miracles do happen.
I have found that saying "I love you" has become much easier to say..It's becoming natural.. Dusty may not repeat it back each time...but his actions are speaking it loud and clear. I pray and I pray and I say Dusty's name...I pray for Dusty's needs to be filled and that they may glorify God. I pray for us to have patience and peace with each other and I pray mostly to be the wife that God intended me to be.
Tomorrow's love dare is to isolate one area of division in my marriage and pray for clarity...until then