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Saturday, September 5, 2009

Sisters Of Mine

I ran across this picture/etching the other day in one of my memory boxes.. Hard to believe that not too long ago - my babies were babies..

One of the things I tell my girls is that a friend can last a short time or a life time - you just don't know but.... a sister is for a lifetime and if you are really lucky - she'll be your best friend.... So stop the fighting right now!!!!!

I have two (2) sisters - both of my sisters are older than me (eight and nine years) - growing up I think we all believed a friendship would be nearly impossible... I was the bratty little sister and well - they were grown up and out of the house before I finished elementary school... We basically grew up in different generations.... and in a way different parents too. My mom was sixteen (16) and then seventeen (17) when my sisters were born.. .. She was still a kid herself and now a mom - I think she and my dad had a very hard time raising two babies... I know my sisters had a much harder time in their youth than I did... by the time I was born - my mom was 25 and more mature as a parent... I don't think my sisters meant to resent me - when I was a kid - for the much easier way of life I was enjoying... but they did.... I knew they loved me.... but in a way I think they didn't like me much.... either.... I know it must have been hard on them to watch me get spoiled when they practically had nothing growing up.... of course I did not experience their lack of wants... so as a kid it was hard for me to understand...

When I became an adult .... a mom - I started developing relationships with my sisters... At first it was tough because of old resentments.... We were the text book definition of a dysfunctional family of an alcoholic parent (my dad). We grew up not really trusting or liking each other - things were said that should not have been.... assumptions were made that were false.. and many other complications... But we worked our way through the pain... through the resentments.. past and present...... We were sisters and we believed that bond alone is a good starting point for a friendship..

Today - one of my sisters - I am very close too.. She lives locally and we have the opportunity to spend a lot time together... We are together for every holiday and special occasion... I have always been involved in her daughters' lives as she is involved in my girls' lives... Our common goals, beliefs, and feelings are very much on the same page...... We have been through some very difficult times together and how we handled it made us stronger....

My other sister moved across the United States thirteen (13) years ago - shortly after my oldest daughter was born... I think in the past 13 years - we have seen each other less than a dozen times... Maintaining a close relationship via phone is difficult.... we tried for many years - but the distance and lack of seeing each other made our relationship hard to keep on track... Life is busy with kids and work... Maintaining any relationship is hard... it's not to say I don't love my sister - I love her very much... but unfortunately - I just don't know her anymore.. Distance is tough.... I would love it if she moved back... I would love to know my niece (her daughter).... I would love to spend Christmas together....

I will continue to tell my girls to be kind to each other.. to love one another... to try to keep resentment away... to try to keep assumptions from happening... to lift each other up... to have each others back... Because a sister is for a lifetime and if you are really lucky... she'll be your best friend.....

Love you Debbie and Tammy - God bless you both... sisters of mine..

Me, Tammy, and Debbie

7 comments:

  1. The picture of your girls is so cute! Loved what you had to say about sisters too.

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  2. I love this post. This is a very touchy subject for me. I have 1 sister who is 9 years older than me. She has always resented me because I took the place of daddy's little girl. We have never been able to have a close relationship. She lives her live very different than I do - drugs and just a very dysfunctional, toxic life. We do talk and I do love her, but that is it. She is a very manipulative person. My brother's wife is a good woman, but sometimes hard to be close too. My husband's sister has mental issues and is not a good person either. I have always longed to have a sister that could be my best friend. It always hurts when I see sisters being close because it is something I long for. I am glad that you are close to 1 of your sisters and hope that your other sister will move closer to you so that you can build a relationship too.

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  3. I'm glad you're enjoying your sisters however, wouldn't you agree upholstery has come a long way since then? :)

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  4. What a wonderful post! I have two older sister too. I completely relate to a lot of your story.

    visit me ~ you've been splashed! (Just a little recognition for being a wonderful blogger!)

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  5. Kelly,

    It is true that over time the relationships we have with our siblings change as they become not only parents of their own but husbands and wives as well. So the priorities change and they are called to different purposes in our lives. Hopefully we can come to understand these differences and learn to appreciate one another even more.

    Love and Hugs ~ Kat

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  6. I have 2 sisters, and they're a wonderful support system even though they live far away. I know they'll always be there for me when I need them.
    I used to tell my kids the same... siblings are forever. They apparently took it to heart and have remained close.

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  7. What a wonderful post! I have one sister and love her dearly. We are such great friends. She recently moved...only 2 hours away, but still...it does make it so much more difficult!

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