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Friday, February 26, 2010

Three Tween Girls Together.... Not A Good Thing


I have to say that I truly disliked junior high school - especially 6th and 7th grade... Girls are just mean... moody.. back stabbing... and the list goes on... Watching my girls go through the pain is hard... Yesterday, my youngest had her first taste of how awful this age group can be... One minute the "friend" proclaims they are best friends forever and then the next minute - she can't be friends... Oh the drama....

When I picked up my baby from school yesterday - I could tell right away something was wrong... her checks were rosy and she looked so sad.. She told me that out of the blue - E (friend) said that S( other friend) missed having E to herself and that S doesn't want to hang out with my kid anymore... My kid thought that was strange because S is always so kind and goes out of her way to be sweet whereas E is very bossy..... Sometimes it really sucks being a grown up because all I really wanted to do was go yell in E's face.. but being a grown up - I can't do those things anymore... So I just listened.... and tried to remember how girls were at that age....

The more I thought about it the more I was convinced that E was lying to my kid... So my motherly (grown up) advise was not to overreact - not to be mean - my kid is friends on Facebook with S and she sent her a private message saying that E told her that S did not want to be friends. My kid continued to say that she did not understand because they had so much fun together and if that's what she wants then that's okay.... I approved of this message because - S is a good kid and S is in a different class and if my kid tried to talk to her at recess or lunch then E would cause a problem and to avoid the drama - I approved.... The message was simple - not mean - and opened the door for response.... as it turns out E did lie.... Basically E did not like that my kid and S were becoming better friends and E wanted to separate S and my kid..

S responded right back to my kid and did not start trash talking E which I had to respect -she said that E had told her that my kid did not want to be friends and that S was hurt too... So the story is that E told S and my kid different stories to tear them apart.. Are you following? One of the things - I do remember very well from junior high is that 3 girls together is never a good combination - one is always left out.... and it may not be the same one every time - they take turns.... the vicious cycle... My threesome friendship in the 7th grade ended up with me breaking a nose and it wasn't mine...... I soooooo DO NOT want that happening here.... I am thankful that my kid chooses to think first and react last.... and always wants to choose love and forgiveness..


10 comments:

  1. Another reason why middle school age students should be sent away and not come back until high school (jk);o)

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  2. I don't know which is funnier, your post or the comment above!! Hang in there!!

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  3. I remember those days too, and you are right about 3 girls not working out. Glad it was taken care of in such a great way!

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  4. Your description of you vs. her in the reaction factor... making me laugh... as this is me vs. my 9 year old... she obviously take after her daddy... though I have not broken a nose... I have left a bite mark on my sisters arm... oops. My little one is in a 3 way friendship.. it has had drama in grade school... don't want to think about middle school! Hope she makes her way to cherish friendships ... whoever that may end up being! poor monkey! way to bite your tongue mommy! Just Jenn~

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  5. Can you believe pne of my friends quit being friends with me cause I had a great b-day party. She was jealous, her loss. It made me feel sad for her. Hang in there.

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  6. I remember that time in my life *so* clearly, but I think that will be a good thing when my girls get to that age. I'm glad you said it was hard to just listen and not get involved, I think I'm going to be the same way. Your daughter sounds very mature! Good job, Mom!

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  7. YUK, yuk, YUK!! We're going through some of the same things with our 14-year old and the girls at school. Mean, catty, vindictive, and jealous. I know Mama's have to stay out of these things, but it's hard. Hard. Hard. Hard.

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  8. The rule of three starts early too. If there are only 3 girls at playdates one is left out. And they are only 4.

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  9. Always remember the rule of three! My daughter called me so upset after she held her 9 year old while she sobbed her little heart out over just such a slight. It hurts so bad to watch your child hurt and know there is not much you can do to make it better.

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  10. You are so right 3 kids can very seldom get along. It so sad!!

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