Going Public.... Yikes!

It's hard to believe that both my girls will be graduating from their schools in a couple of weeks.. My oldest from 8th grade and the youngest from 6th grade.. This is the last year they will be attending their private Christian school..... This fall they will be going public... yikes... No more uniforms... No more prayer... No more Christian values ( in the curriculum)...

Making this transition was a difficult decision to make... After much thought, prayer, and pro/con lists we believe that our decision is for the best.... We have learned that staying in a Christian school does not necessarily protect our kids from the "real" world.. In many ways - the kids can be just as awful... The teachers can be cold and distant... Having the title "Christian" does not instantly make a person warm and fuzzy.... Just look at me... I know that I can be very unpleasant.. just ask the husband... the kids.. and I'm on the women ministry team... lol...

The girls will be going away to college before we know it.... I will not be there to guide them... The next few years - I believe will give them the opportunity to make the right choices in a "mom safe" environment... It will give them the chance to stand up for what is right... Make new and exciting friends... Friends that can last a life time... at least that is my hope.... Another plus - is now the school tuition payments will be going towards the college funds....

I believe our decision was the right one and it's great to know that the girls are excited about this new chapter in their lives.... Now if we can slow down the clock.... they are growing up way too fast...... I am sooo NOT ready for college...

Three Tween Girls Together.... Not A Good Thing

I have to say that I truly disliked junior high school - especially 6th and 7th grade... Girls are just mean... moody.. back stabbing... and the list goes on... Watching my girls go through the pain is hard... Yesterday, my youngest had her first taste of how awful this age group can be... One minute the "friend" proclaims they are best friends forever and then the next minute - she can't be friends... Oh the drama....

When I picked up my baby from school yesterday - I could tell right away something was wrong... her checks were rosy and she looked so sad.. She told me that out of the blue - E (friend) said that S( other friend) missed having E to herself and that S doesn't want to hang out with my kid anymore... My kid thought that was strange because S is always so kind and goes out of her way to be sweet whereas E is very bossy..... Sometimes it really sucks being a grown up because all I really wanted to do was go yell in E's face.. but being a grown up - I can't do those things anymore... So I just listened.... and tried to remember how girls were at that age....

The more I thought about it the more I was convinced that E was lying to my kid... So my motherly (grown up) advise was not to overreact - not to be mean - my kid is friends on Facebook with S and she sent her a private message saying that E told her that S did not want to be friends. My kid continued to say that she did not understand because they had so much fun together and if that's what she wants then that's okay.... I approved of this message because - S is a good kid and S is in a different class and if my kid tried to talk to her at recess or lunch then E would cause a problem and to avoid the drama - I approved.... The message was simple - not mean - and opened the door for response.... as it turns out E did lie.... Basically E did not like that my kid and S were becoming better friends and E wanted to separate S and my kid..

S responded right back to my kid and did not start trash talking E which I had to respect -she said that E had told her that my kid did not want to be friends and that S was hurt too... So the story is that E told S and my kid different stories to tear them apart.. Are you following? One of the things - I do remember very well from junior high is that 3 girls together is never a good combination - one is always left out.... and it may not be the same one every time - they take turns.... the vicious cycle... My threesome friendship in the 7th grade ended up with me breaking a nose and it wasn't mine...... I soooooo DO NOT want that happening here.... I am thankful that my kid chooses to think first and react last.... and always wants to choose love and forgiveness..

I'm Taking My Niece To Disneyland

It's been a while since I've had a four (4) year old sleep in my home..... It's been a while since I've had to put things up... said "no, don't touch" and worry of a possible night time accident.... It's been a while since I've seen through the magical eyes of a four (4) year old.... and I can't wait!

For a Christmas present to my young niece - we (my girls and I) are taking her for a sleep over and a full day of Disneyland.... It's all about my niece day..... We have it all planned out to where we are going to go first...

We are going to start in Tomorrow Land at autopia then to Buzz Lightyear... Then it's off to sing "It's a small world" from there we are going to visit Mickey and Minnie at their homes and take a ride on the Toon Town express roller coaster..... Oh, I can't forget the Mattorhorn - there is no height limit and that's a great ride.... Then the Dumbo ride so that she can fly in the sky.... and off to sing yo ho yo ho a pirate's life for me... I'm bummed that the Haunted Mansion is closed for holiday decorations removal... After Pirate's it'll be time for lunch...

From Disneyland we travel over to California Adventure to watch Disney's Aladdin - A Musical Spectacular. I have seen this show and it is incredible..... The music - the comedy - and the magic carpet riding above your head.... My niece is going to love it. And if we have time and she is not wiped out - we'll go catch a bug or two....

Can you tell I'm excited?

What Really Happened Was....

Sometimes you have to count to ten (10) and then count to ten (10) again. I am a big believer in allowing my children to learn from their mistakes.... I believe they should fight and/or negotiate their own battles - to a point. But when I come to my kid's school to pick her up and her eye is red and swollen because some girl hit her.... my mama bear claws flare out!

I tried to be the grown up and be rationale so I asked her what happened.... I tried to use the matter of fact tone so not to cause undue stress, drama, whatever... She said that she went up to her friend and "lightly" pushed her on the shoulder like they do every day - usually the friend would push back - they would laugh and they would go on their merry way.... Well, today - the friend must have had a bad day because instead of pushing "lightly" back the girl started hitting my kid with her jacket sleeve over and over again - so much so that my kid will wake up with a black eye in the morning....

Okay - I am trying to be mom detective - is this serious? Do I need to notify the school? As I was trying to make the wise and mature adult decision - one of my kid's friends came up and asked why the other friend was slapping her over and over again while my kid kept saying stop.... My first thought was why didn't my kid haul off and pound on the assailant ... but you know - I couldn't say that one... So I decided to go to the Principal's office. I had my kid explain to him what happened - but my kid's story changed slightly from it's a huge deal and the friend said she was happy she hurt my kid - to we are friends and I don't think she really meant to hurt me...

So here I am not knowing what to think.. geez preteen drama....... I don't remember being like this - but I am guessing my older sisters and mom would assure me I was..... and by the way - the Principal is having a sit down with both girls tomorrow - even in fun, drama, and anger - you should never never hit - unless you are defending yourself.... at least that's my take...

What do you think?

Morning Snuggles

I remember when I was a little girl, I would wake up super early on Saturday mornings to watch my favorite cartoons. Sometimes, I would be so early that I would only see test patterns.... But no matter how early I awoke, my dad would be sitting in his chair - reading the morning paper with his cup of hot tea... I would jump on his lap and ask for a sip of his sweet hot tea... By the age of six, I was making his tea and my tea on those quiet Saturday mornings... That is a happy memory I have of my dad....

When my kids were little they would wake up super early on Saturday mornings - I would hear their little feet run across the upstairs landing to my bedroom... Dusty and I would pretend to still be a sleep and then two squirmy, warm, and giggly girls would jump in our bed... We would turn the TV on and watch cartoons while we snuggled.... I hope this is a happy memory when my girls are moms.....

Today, I have a thirteen year old that woke up at noon... and my eleven year old that woke up at 6 AM to ride in the car to the airport to say goodbye to her daddy.....and when we got home.... she jumped in my bed and we snuggled.... happy memory for me...

My Daughter Woke Up Boy Crazy.....

My oldest daughter woke up boy crazy....and she is driving me insane!!!! When did this happen? Did her hormones just kick in one morning and boom the world revolves around "hot guys"? She's almost thirteen and is quite disturbed that we will not allow her to have a boyfriend, talk on the phone with boys, or go to a boy's house...granted none of this has been close to happening...but she's preparing for the future..
She is hanging out with girls who are allowed to do these things... One friend in particular is dating an "older' boy... He's a junior in high school.... I ask you what mom would allow her thirteen year old daughter to date a 17 year old boy??? Not this mom... so at this present moment in time...my over the top hormonal child is pouting in her room - probably throwing darts at my face....because I am so mean... In her words, "I'm stifling her"..."I'm trying to keep her a child"..."I don't know what it's like to be a teenager" and the phrases go on.... I so remember saying and feeling the exact same things when I was her age.... crazy.
So as my blog says..."I've become my mother".... so true that comment is today.. But I'll tell you something.... I'd rather her hate me now...because I won't let her date....than have her hate me later because I did allow her to date.....
Being a mom is tough....

Don't Believe Everything You Hear

One of my favorite things in my day is picking up my kids from school. I have a certain spot I wait. I love it when Nikki my oldest first catches my eye. We both smile at each other...She comes to me and if no one is paying attention she'll give me a hug and tell me she loves me and that she missed me... These are the memories that I will forever hold dear.. My youngest one also is very loving and it's great and super special but there's just something about my oldest almost a teenager catching my eye that lights me up inside... When we get in the car - Kara instantly starts talking about her day...who she played with...what tests and quizzes she took and aced.. and how annoying Jacob is...the boy who sits next to her in class.
Nikki and I will catch each others eyes and kind of chuckle... Kara is the entertainer in the family...always has something going on and something to say... Nikki is my thinker and my dreamer....When I was a kid - I was more like Kara- always in the middle of everything....so it's nice to have a view of the other side...
So today as Kara was telling us a story about her experiences in Chapel, I could tell something was really bothering Nikki... When Kara stopped to catch her breath, I asked Nikki what was wrong... Her eyes welled up and she said that she was afraid to tell me because she did not want to give me any more reasons to disapprove of her friends... I said, "Nikki, you know I will listen to whatever you say and if I can help I will if I can't then maybe we can talk about it"... She looked at me with tears in her eyes and said that her friend - her fellow 7th grader - her fellow 12 year old is having sex...not only is she having sex.. her grandparents took her to lunch today to talk her into having an abortion... Okay...wow...not quite know what to say with this one.....
Then I remembered when I was in 7th grade and the tales that the girls would tell each other.. I remembered one girl in particular that came to school one day bragging about her sex life....bragging that she did it all the time...of course we all believed her...we were in the 7th grade..wanting to be older more worldly....she was lying her socks off.. thank goodness. Of course, I did not realize it until we were much older and I met up with her in college and we laughed about our old Junior High Days.... how we thought we were so cool....
I sat down with Nikki and gave her a very short version of my 7th grade drama... I said chances are your friend is not telling the truth...little things she said about the grandparents taking her out to lunch to talk about an abortion...when she wasn't even pregnant... and other little red flags.. but I said it really doesn't matter if she is telling the truth or not..she is looking for attention... This poor girl's parents are non-existent... She lives with her aunt and sometimes with her grandparents...So my advise was to just show love...don't talk about her sex life..talk about the classes you have together, a book you like, American Idol, or anything else you have in common....But please don't buy into this sex thing... if it's true than her grandparents and aunt can help her...but honey you're a kid..just love her like Jesus wants you to love her..but...
If she comes to school with more tragic experiences..than you need to realize that she is definitely telling stories for the wrong kind of attention... so please don't play into that..give her positive loving twelve year old and 7th grade attention... I think you'll be happy you did and I think she will realize she likes your kind of attention better...
It is amazing to me how many flashbacks I am getting with my 7th grade daughter.. Being in junior high is tough and I would not personally repeat it for anything..but I am visiting it again through the eyes of my loved one.....

I'm Just Not Cool Anymore...

I love my kids... I really do.. but that did not stop me from doing the "They're going back to school dance" this morning.. My kids were driving me nuts!! The tattling, the I'm bored, the can I play on your computer (while I'm working on it), and the music.. the loud loud music..... When I was a kid - music was good... The Bee Gees, Adam Ant, and The Police.. you could understand the lyrics and you could sing a long... But with this new hip hop and who ever heard of Lady Ga Ga.....I can't understand a word.. am I sounding like my mother...you betcha...
Today, I realized I'm not cool anymore.. I had the bad judgment to pick up my kids from school without any makeup on and my hair piled on top with a clip.. The look of horror on my oldest kid's face..wish I had a camera! Today in Southern California it was 107 degrees... You could not pay me enough to put on makeup and style my hair....as the wicked witch in the Wizard Oz said.."I'm melting......
While my oldest acted like she did not know me... my youngest came up to me and gave me a fish face kiss and said, "I love you, Mommy".. That just made my day! So, I'm thinking I'm still cool for maybe another two more years with my eleven year old....at least I hope so.