One of the things I remember most about high school is trying to fit in.. Wanting my friends and others to accept me.. I was shy and unsure in many ways... And now that I am the mother of two teen girls - I have learned that the feelings I had were very normal... Self -esteem in teens can come in highs and lows... I think as parents it is critically important to praise our children often... and when we have to discipline or correct - it must be specific not general... I have not done a great job on this... Many times in my frustration - I will say things like "You always keep messing up" or "I just don't know if I can trust you".... Looking back on those comments - I realize how harsh they sound... They sound as if I had given up on my own child... But that is so very far from the truth...
Instant wisdom and the right words did not come along just because I become a parent.. And unfortunately, I know that I will continue to screw up time to time.... I pray that the screws ups won't cause harm to my kids... I pray that as the years continue to go by - I will gain the knowledge to say and do the right things...
I think to be a better parent... a better person... We can copy from those that do it right... I remember years ago listening to Tony Robbins speak - he said that the way he became successful was copying successful people.... Copying the things that work... As parents - we can copy traits and actions from others that we believe are getting the job down... Creating long lasting loving relationships with their kids...
I am currently reading a wonderful book called How to Keep Your Teenager Out of Trouble and What to Do if You Can't
by Dr. Neil I. Bernstein. I am not done with the book but I have to say that the advise I am reading makes sense to me and I believe I can put much of it into action... The most important people in my life are my girls and I want it all for them.. I want them to be blessed with long, happy, and healthy lives...How do you parent?
By NOT being her friend.
ReplyDeleteI agree that praise is so important for kids!! Things I wish I had done when my girls were teens ~ take the phone off the hook when we were eating dinner,no tv's in bedrooms, when I said no mean it, wait and think about things before saying no and so much more! So glad my girls turned out the way they did!
ReplyDeleteI tell my daughter that I am her Mother and that makes me more than just her friend. I also pray for God's Wisdom to parent because clearly, I haven't a clue, He does. :)
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