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Wednesday, September 28, 2011

My Top 10 Marriage Saving Ideas....


My pastor once told me ... okay maybe more than once - that no on wants a divorce... We don't go into a marriage planning or hoping for a divorce... We want the happily ever after... I know I did.... I do not claim to be an expert on marriage... I'm really the polar opposite of an expert.. But I am a student - still trying after 22 years of marriage to make it right... One fact - I have learned is this... I can change me.... but no matter how hard I try - I can NEVER change Him.... But I can say is this - When I act with kindness - understanding - and love... I have seen a mirror reflection back from him...

TOP 10 MARRIAGE SAVERS

10. Get rid of parasites (stay away from) - Parasites is anything that takes you away from loving your spouse - addictions, pornography, drugs, unhealthy "friends and/or family that hurt your relationship...

9. Hold your tongue - if you want to say something sarcastic,rude, or something that is not constructive - DON'T - There is a lot of anger on both sides - angry words do not show you care - It shows that you are selfish...

8. Give up an activity that would normally take you away from your spouse for the sole purpose of spending time with him... ie: skip a girls night out... a work out...

7. Lose a disagreement - let him have his way... Let him know that you are putting him first.. He is more important than what you want.. You want him... (whether you feel this way or not - act like you do - your heart and mind will follow)

6. Find a therapist a commit to go for minimum of two months (every week). - preferably one that is pro marriage...

5. Write a letter to him - tell him when you knew you were in love with him... Your letter is a love story - Not about what is happening now... Bring yourself back to the place where you had butterflies in your belly.. and You wanted to spend you entire life with him... Talk about your wedding day - your hopes... your dreams.. for both of you...

4. Refrain from fighting... But if you have to "fight" - fight fair... Don't bring up the past.. You are in the here and now -

3. Sit together and watch the movie Fireproof - Get past the so-so acting.. I guarantee you that you will see yourself and your spouse in both characters...

2. Buy the book The Love Dare and do it for 40 days... Whether you feel like it or not - do it for 40 days...

1. Tell yourself everyday - I will love my husband today - whether I feel like it or not... I will show him I love him by random acts of kindness - give him my eyes when he talks.....

You need to fight for your marriage.. Too many people give up without trying and that's such a shame...

* many of the ideas are based on what I learned from The Love Dare...


10 comments:

  1. Loved the movie Fireproof. A very good list. Marriage is something worth fighting for.

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  2. Thanks Kelly for this. I need some inspiration for my marriage right now. Maybe I'll rent Fireproof for us to watch tonight.

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  3. The hardest thing to retrain myself about was to just not say anything in the heat of the moment. Sometimes those snap responses are just too sharp tongued!

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  4. Great tips! I also recommend the book The five love languages! Thanks for stopping by!

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  5. One of our cardinal rules was no name calling, no asshole, jerk, pain whatever. Been together 30 years so there must be something to that.

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  6. that's great advice! We try to never fight in front of the kids and name calling is absolutely out.
    Sandy

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  7. I think my marriage is pretty solid, but it's important to work on it every day. You've given me some great ideas here!

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  8. Excellent ideas, for both partners in the marriage.

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  9. These are great tips in maintaining a happy and loving marriage! A lot of couples will surely find these as helpful in making their unions strong. Thanks for sharing.

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