My challenge for yesterday's Love Dare Day #2 was to say nothing negative to my spouse and to do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness. To be honest, it felt like a normal day. Looking back I am surprised that I had no desire to use negative words. I can't remember feeling irritated. I did notice that Dusty gave several compliments on the dinner and noticed that the house was clean.
I would love to have a real conversation with him. The kind of conversation that I would have with a good friend. The kind of conversations that we have had for most of our marriage. It seems that after 20 years of marriage the words have just run out. I would love for him to take an interest in the activities that I do but then I haven't put much effort is appreciating his interests. I have no doubt that our love for each other is still there. I also have no doubt that the poisonous words of the past have put up many walls that will be hard to tear down. Not just for Dusty but myself as well.
I'm beginning to believe that reflection is a gift that God gives us so that we can learn from what we have done in the past....good and bad... I have found myself reflecting a lot in the past few days. Things that I am proud of and things that I am ashamed of.
The Bible describes a woman whose husband and children talk about her wisdom and kindness. I'm not sure how my husband and children would describe me today.... In the book, The Love Dare it says. It is difficult to demonstrate love when you feel little to no motivation. But love in its truest sense is not based on feelings. Rather, love determines to show thoughtful actions even when there seems to be no reward...
My act of kindness yesterday was pretty simple. I went to the ATM after dinner to get money for Dusty. He had left his card at home and wasn't able to get money earlier. It was simple but under normal circumstances, I would not think to do that.... Well as Caleb said in Fireproof..."Welcome to the New Normal".
Today's Love Dare Day #3 is Whatever you put your time, energy, and money into will become more important to you. It's hard to care for something you are not investing in. Along with restraining from negative comments, buy your spouse something that says, "I've was thinking of you today." Until then