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Monday, March 9, 2009

Love Dare Day 7 1/2

I am glad that today's Love Dare wasn't a difficult or emotional one, Yeah.... I was to write a list of positive and negative attributes about Dusty. I was to put each list on a separate piece of paper. At some point, I was to thank Dusty for having one of the positive characteristics that I had written down. As you know, yesterday was a difficult day for me. I was not able to do this particular love dare for many reasons. Mainly because Dusty was traveling to Sacramento and I think I was just too raw to write a truly honest list. I also believe that Dusty in his frame of mind would not have heard a positive word I said. So today I took this Dare!
Isn't email a grand thing? Knowing that Dusty doesn't like to take the personal call during the day, I sent an email right to his blackberry so when he is scrolling down his messages - He Will Find Me!
Dusty has many positive attributes: He's a great provider for our family needs. He loves spending time with his kids and makes that a priority. He is probably the smartest person I know and he can play a great game of golf! He is honest, a true friend in need, and he loves Jesus. Like all of us, he does have some negative traits and that is something I will not share. Dusty is a good man..enough said.
I decided to let Dusty know that I appreciate him. I appreciate the fact that he travels so much for business when he would rather enjoy his home. He travels so he can take care of us. I think if he were a single man without a family he probably would be in Hawaii working/playing as a golf pro at one of the big hotels. Because Dusty has a family, he puts on a suit and tie everyday and gets up early to go to work. He has made it possible for me to be fulltime mom if I choose.
I know in my haze of constant anger, I have not told him how thankful I am. Is it my stubborn Irish pride, maybe or I just didn't want to give him the satisfaction of a true compliment. Well I have to change that. Isn't it sad that the person I should be praising and lifting up is the person I tear down the most?
It's time to start thinking differently. It's time to let love lead my thoughts and my focus. It's time to move into Appreciation words and out of the I just don't give a damn words..
Love knows about the negative attributes a spouse has but is chooses not to dwell on it. Dwelling on the negative does no one any good and drains the joy out of a marriage. Today and from now on, I choose to believe the best about Dusty and if Dusty lets me down as I am sure is human nature, I will make every effort to deal with it and move forward focusing on the positive. This is something, I will look in the mirror everyday and tell myself to think positive...think positive....and with God's help it will become a new normal!
Tomorrows love dare is to become Dusty's biggest fan and to reject any thoughts of jealousy. To focus on his achievements and burn the negative list I wrote. And to share with Dusty how glad I am about a success he has recently enjoyed. Until then....

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