Friday, July 3, 2009

Love, Marriage, and Then Sex......

I remember when I was in the tenth grade and I had a boyfriend named Derek. He was a nice boy.... I was not allowed to date so the extent of our relationship was holding hands between classes and him waiting at the bus stop with me and giving me a kiss goodbye as I climbed onto the bus... there was one time that I sneaked over to his house... his mom was home so I felt safe... I remember we were in his room and he was showing me pictures and such... then we started to kiss... make out really... and then his hands started to travel to places that only I had traveled too... in the shower. I took his hand and said no.... we continued to kiss and then those hands had a mind of their own.... again I said no.. We stopped and I asked him if he ever had sex because he had become very frisky... he said that he had... I was in shock - so I broke up with him then and there..... The idea of me having sex or my boyfriend having sex was something that I was not ready for..

Today sex is everywhere.... more so then when I was a sophomore in high school in 1981. It's on television and not just on soap operas anymore... It's in almost every sitcom, magazine, drama, and reality TV show. It's something that appears to be taken for granted... You date.. you kiss... you have sex... there's another word that comes to mind - but this is a G-rated site..

My kids have developed the idea that sex is not a big deal.. Because everyone is doing it... of course they both tell me that they are going to wait until they get married and I hope they will but today's world culture is so very blase about sex and that blase attitude is going to make it very difficult for my kids to wait - I know because I did not wait.. and I regret that...

You can pick up any tabloid magazine and read about Angelina and Brad and their large brood of children... they are not married.. they are not teaching their children about family values.. The process of a loving family relationship - love, marriage, and then children... How about the octomom... having so many children without a husband or father to her children... she got her babies out of a tube... Where have our family values gone... our Christian values???

Monday night I was watching The Bachlorette.. I used to love the show - but now it has lost the little class it once had... the bachelor or the bachlorette is sucking face with whatever candidate is with them at the time.. can you image if one of them had a cold sore? The whole cast would be in pain... a thought I had the other night... my point is that - here I was sitting watching this show.. my daughters walk in and start to watch the show.. I did not think to say no no no - you can't watch this... or turn the channel... and it struck me.. I am guilty of promoting "the idea sex is not a big deal" too by what I watch in front of my children... that was a major moment for me... Our children are influenced by what we watch.... I am not saying to start watching the Disney channel over what you want to watch - we are the adult.. I am saying that we need to be diligent on what we watch on TV around our children... watch what we say.. what we do... and what we read.... We need to set the example of what we want our children to become... we need to teach our child about the family values that the world no longer supports.. Love, then Marriage, and then the baby in the baby carriage...


  1. That's a really good point. We may say all we want, but the things we watch say a lot!

  2. So true. This is the second blog that posted about that show. You've made some great points. I try hard to teach my boys the right way. Wouldn't it be nice to break the cycle with our children?

  3. I agree with you 100% here. Even though I no longer have a child at home to worry about, I am still amazed at the gratuitous sex on TV. All the time. I have been watching the Bachelorette, but I too wondered like you did. What if...? They seem to be very suggestive of what goes on with this show -- the hot tub scenes, the spending the night together that happens towards the end of the season - I mean, c'mon, does she really sleep with 3 or 4 of these guys??! Whether it's protected sex or not is not the issue. It shouldn't be promoted as OK.

    As a general rule, I tend to prefer comedy over any serious dramas on TV or at the movies. Many times this avoids the whole sex or violence issue.

  4. Yes, there has definitely been a shift in values and relationships in the past twenty years. I am saddened by how many celebs have the kids first and THEN decide (or don't) if they really want to commit to their "partner" or if they are still on the market.



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