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Sunday, August 8, 2010

Expecting Perfection = Arrogance


Do you ever give yourself unrealistic goals? Higher expectations than you give others? Today, I realized that I do that to myself... I expect myself NEVER to make mistakes and when I do - I get mad... Mad at myself.... I find myself scrambling to make it right.... I don't know what I expect to happen... The world will not end.... My clients will not leave me... neither will my husband... my kids.... my God...

I used to tease my sister that she was a people pleaser and she needed to say "No" on occasion... I did not understand at the time it is a difficult thing to do... Being a business owner or a friend makes it difficult to say "I can't do it right now" or "Wait until I can help you" or the worst thing that I can imagine saying especially to my clients "Can you please do it yourself this time" yikes!!!!... I am trying to teach myself no matter how hard I try - I will never please everyone - all the time.... There will be times that I just mess up and I have to accept that I am not perfect... To expect otherwise is pure arrogance and that is not a trait that I want to continue to have.... Yes, I just called myself arrogant...

One of the most difficult decisions I have made lately was to back out of Women Ministry... I loved serving God and the women of my church in this manner.... But life has taken over... Responsibilities of late have been beyond normal.... beyond extreme... The other day I was working in my office and I had the most extreme stomach burning pain... I believe that I am causing myself to have an ulcer.... I know that they do run in my family - both parents and I think both sisters too..... I realized sitting here in my office this Sunday afternoon - scanning files while I type this post that I am burning the candle at both ends.... Something needs to give...

I am thankful to God for the abundance of work I have received - especially since I am the sole provider at this time - I will always do my best.... I will always give sterling service BUT - I cannot expect myself to do 20 things at one time and do them perfectly... I need to prioritize better and stop worrying that if I don't do something the minute a client, my husband, my friends, or my kids ask me that the world will end.... Because it most likely won't....

5 comments:

  1. Just stopping by to let you know that I have an update on amden on arise 2 write. Sorry I have not been by much lately. Life has been crazy here, lately.
    Blessings,
    andrea

    ReplyDelete
  2. Why are we always so hard on ourselves? You are right, the world won't end because you said "no" or "later" or "not now."

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  3. I can totally understand and agree with what you are saying. I tend to throw myself into everything and want to help with everything. I was about to do that for this fall but thanks to my hubby he had me take a break, step back, and he showed me that especially with my illness i was taking too much on

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  4. Personally, (underline that word a couple times) I think it's more a matter of pride and/or fear. You still need to take care of you though. Maybe you're internalizing too much?

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  5. It is hard to step back and see that we are doing too much at one time mainly because we don't want to take the time to step back. You've done the hard part, now take the time for yourself. You won't be any good to your family, church, work, if you are so tired you can't think straight...

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