Today I was to humble myself and ask for forgiveness from God and from Dusty. It is not hard to humble myself before God because I know that He has already forgiven me. It's the asking for forgiveness from Dusty..that is hard. To put myself out there for rejection or disbelief....
I did tell Dusty today that I am so sorry for the horrible words I have said..things that a wife should never say..things no one should ever say. I told Dusty I was sorry for not being the wife he deserves... He said that he likes the way I have been but he is concerned that it will only last the forty days.... He has a right to be concerned. I asked him for forgiveness and he said he would work on it. I think only in movies does the husband jump up and say "yes, I forgive everything, let's start all over!" It's human nature, I believe to take time to forgive... I should know, I've been the queen of the unforgiving...
I am glad I put it out there.... I am also looking forward to proving to Dusty that this is not just a "forty day" thing. This is a lifetime thing. This is a I need to get on my knees and pray kinda thing. I can not do this with Him...
Today was about personal responsibility. My responsibility to own up for the wrong doings I have done against Dusty..and not to make excuses... Love is responsible and is willing to admit and correct its faults and errors up front...
Tomorrow's Dare is to eliminate the poison of unrealistic expectations in my home
I had to chuckle a bit because whenever I have read a book and tried to apply it and made a few real changes, my hubby will say, "OK, What book are you reading now"---I think it is right for our hubbies to suspect us ;-). The thing is to keep up keeping on in these areas!! I have a lot of work cut out for me.....as time passes bad habits develop. I finished the book and now am going back and trying to work at more implementation of the different areas---like trying to say nothing negative---wow---I just didn't realize what my responses sometimes are like and simply from habit!!!!
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