Being a parent is the most difficult job I have ever had..... will ever have.. Don't misunderstand me - it's the best and most joyful experience too.. But lately - I just don't know what to do... what to say... how to react.... I confided in a very wise friend today and she gave me sound advice... She said when my child is sleeping - pray over her. Pray for wisdom... Pray that any gateway that may be open to Satan to close.. Pray for protection.. Pray for control..
The days of "because I said so" are over... I am no longer the knowledgeable one.... someone else is... anyone else is.... the days of puberty have come full force.. along with the thoughts of boys, sex, and the quest for more knowledge of the unknown... I have recently discovered that the Internet is not a good thing for a child that has a hard time controlling her impulses... the Internet can be that gateway to bad things.. It's very easy to find things that a thirteen year old child should never see... there are no blocks.. no way to stop it... As of today, my kids are not allowed on the Internet without an adult present.... things are just too scary... just too perverted... at least for a child that just can't say "no".....
The Internet has been a great tool to use for my business... my blog.... shopping..... answers to questions... but I have discovered that there is also a dark side... a very dark side and that draws people in... children in..... After my recent experience with the "dark side of the net" - I have learned that I was naive to a degree.... I did not grasp the darkness in some individuals..... I have learned a lesson as disturbing as it is.....
It is so frustrating to me that I have many of the answers my daughter seeks... Even though it has been a very long time since I was a teenager - I do remember some of the angst.. some of the drama.... some of the pain... and of course some of the happiness too. She has so many gifts... she is smart, she is funny, she has servant's heart, and she loves the Lord.... But... she is a "loner" - I can tell she wants to be part of a group... she wants to be loved and accepted... but she gravitates towards the other kids who are unsure.... who are "loners".... I want so much for her to have a "good" friend... a friend who will lift her up and not drag her down... Who is interested in good healthy things and can initiate a spark in my own child's heart....
So tonight when my sweetheart is deep in slumber - I am going to pray over her... and when I lay my head down to sleep - I will pray for God to give me the wisdom and the right words to say.... Being a parent is tough....
We Moms want to just fix everything and we can't do that, but we can pray!
ReplyDeleteYou said "She has so many gifts... she is smart, she is funny, she has servant's heart, and she loves the Lord.... But... she is a "loner"" I sometimes think that "groups" are over-rated to be honest with you. I get the impression and I could be wrong that she may be more interested in finding some "quality" friends over "quantity" friends. You are her friend BUT you are also her mother and that makes you more than a friend to her. Something else I could be wrong about is that this is the time in their lives where the growing up and growing away begins. They only grow away as far as their dependence is concerned. They don't grow away from us, as their parents, in their hearts ever. (((hugs))) It is tough being a parent but I hope it brings you comfort to know that the Lord understands and knows all that you are growing through right now.
ReplyDeleteThank you Mari and Oh Sew Good for your comments. It is so true Mari, that as parents we want to fix everything and we have to leave it to our Father to intercede. I wish my kid would find quality friends but whatever reason she goes to the kids who put her down, create mean and angry drama. You know, the kids who mock everyone while the "good kids" do the real work... my kids is the one that does the work but still seeks approval from the mean kids and wonders if she's "uncool" if she is a helper and a do gooder.. Thank you for your insight - love you both.
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