High School Dreams......

A few weeks ago I had a dream that I went back to high school... In my dream - I was getting a second chance - a redo... Starting the 10th grade with the knowledge and wisdom I have now as a forty-four year old... I know crazy, huh? I remember thinking that this time I am going to do it right.... I woke up trying to remember my old locker combination.....

Last weekend my girls and I went to go see the movie Flipped - it is a very sweet coming of age movie - about a young girl who has a huge crush on her neighbor ( a boy her age)- the neighbor does everything he can to avoid her and then suddenly he realizes that he cares for her too... very cute. In the movie Anthony Edwards (Dr. Green - ER or if you are an old timer like me Goose from Top Gun) plays the very unhappy father to the young girl... There is a scene in the movie when he makes the comment that high school was the best time of his life....

I remember later in the day after my dream - I realized that I would never want to go back to high school... There are too many things I would miss.... mostly my girls... I cannot imagine living my life without them..... I have earned every laugh line on this face.... I have forty-four years of beautiful memories.... I have no regrets.... Every mistake and every shining moment has made me the person I am today.. A very blessed woman....

In a few weeks - my oldest will be starting her first day of high school... I am so excited to watch her grow and blossom into the woman she will become... I'm looking forward to having the "a-ha" moments with her... The "I remember when" stories of my crazy and wonderful high school days... I am looking forward to her experiencing the new found freedoms that come with high school but..... I have to admit... I miss the baby I held in my arms not too long ago....

My Calvin Kleins....... Your Something Else

When I was in the 10th grade designer jeans were the thing to wear.... My parents refused to spend $50 on a pair jeans just because the labels read Calvin Klein, Jordache, or Sassoon.... So we made a deal - they would pay half and I would pay half with the money I earned from babysitting...

Another big thing when I was in school was the "preppy" look or the "punk" look - Or how about Topsiders..... I had them in brown, tan, and green... Dolphin shorts were quickly leaving the arena of good taste... thank goodness.. Looking back on pictures of me and my friends - wearing our blue/white or our red/white dolphin shorts.... it makes me laugh - what were we thinking??

I miss the styles of the 80's....no, not really.... But I think the 80's was the generation where fashion was king - the music was the best ( I still love 80's music - think - The Police...., The Stones.., Michael Jackson.. The Thompson Twins... ABC... Billy Idol) It was a fun generation and I was happy to be right in the middle of it....

This weekend we went shoe shopping for back to school for my girls... The girls are at the age where they notice what others are wearing... they know what brands are popular.. and now it is vitally important to fit in.. (brings back memories of my Calvin Kleins) The teenage years are tough enough without being totally different.... So here we were at HSS (Huntington Surf Shop) where they have the latest in Huntington Beach, California teen wear.... The girls were picking out their TOMS Shoes and their Rainbows..... and my husband was trying to convince them they that he could take them to Payless and get the exact same shoes.... I could see him start to get annoyed at the high cost of shoes until...... I reminded him that when he was in high school ALL he would wear was Adidas.... (thanks mom in-law for that little tidbit)..... After that - he got it..... High school is high school... fashion is fashion - regardless of what generation you live in......

Expecting Perfection = Arrogance

Do you ever give yourself unrealistic goals? Higher expectations than you give others? Today, I realized that I do that to myself... I expect myself NEVER to make mistakes and when I do - I get mad... Mad at myself.... I find myself scrambling to make it right.... I don't know what I expect to happen... The world will not end.... My clients will not leave me... neither will my husband... my kids.... my God...

I used to tease my sister that she was a people pleaser and she needed to say "No" on occasion... I did not understand at the time it is a difficult thing to do... Being a business owner or a friend makes it difficult to say "I can't do it right now" or "Wait until I can help you" or the worst thing that I can imagine saying especially to my clients "Can you please do it yourself this time" yikes!!!!... I am trying to teach myself no matter how hard I try - I will never please everyone - all the time.... There will be times that I just mess up and I have to accept that I am not perfect... To expect otherwise is pure arrogance and that is not a trait that I want to continue to have.... Yes, I just called myself arrogant...

One of the most difficult decisions I have made lately was to back out of Women Ministry... I loved serving God and the women of my church in this manner.... But life has taken over... Responsibilities of late have been beyond normal.... beyond extreme... The other day I was working in my office and I had the most extreme stomach burning pain... I believe that I am causing myself to have an ulcer.... I know that they do run in my family - both parents and I think both sisters too..... I realized sitting here in my office this Sunday afternoon - scanning files while I type this post that I am burning the candle at both ends.... Something needs to give...

I am thankful to God for the abundance of work I have received - especially since I am the sole provider at this time - I will always do my best.... I will always give sterling service BUT - I cannot expect myself to do 20 things at one time and do them perfectly... I need to prioritize better and stop worrying that if I don't do something the minute a client, my husband, my friends, or my kids ask me that the world will end.... Because it most likely won't....