Every 15 Minutes - A Drunk Driver Kills

Bottom of post is a video created by a high school for this event - Worth the Watch

When I was in high school a good friend of mine killed someone....

My friend D had just turned 18 years old and he had been celebrating the New Year ringing into 1983 when he got behind the wheel of his car... D did not believe he was drunk - He was happy.. He was having a fun time until..... he lost control of his car and plowed into another car killing the driver... Six months later my dear sweet friend was in jail and he would remain there until well after his next birthday.... D was a good kid - A good kid who made a bad mistake... Today many many years later - he still feels the pain of that fatal night 29 years ago...

Several years ago my niece was asked to participate in a school event called Every 15 Minutes... As my sister was explaining to me what was going to happen - I could not help but cry... You see - my niece was going to "die" by a drunk driver - She would leave the school - No one would see her - and my sister had the most difficult task of all - writing her daughter's obituary... Although, it was make believe - just the thought of losing my beautiful talented and so very special niece was very hard to take..

Last week - my daughter's high school had their version of Every 15 Minutes - because my daughter is a sophomore she did not participate but many of her friends did and they told her how difficult it was not to cry....

The last couple of weeks I have been planning my daughter's Sweet Sixteen Party and I can't help but think that pretty soon she will behind the wheel of a car and she will most likely attend parties where there will be drinking and many friends will be driving (hopefully - she will never consider drinking and driving or riding with someone that is)... It's hard because kids (and many adults) think that they are good drivers when they are drunk or they may think that nothing bad is going to happen to them... It's a scary time as a parent... One of the things that I have told both of my girls - is that if they do drink at a party or if their ride is drinking - They have a free pass to call me regardless of the time and I will pick up whoever needs to be driven somewhere - no questions asked and no punishment given.... That doesn't mean I won't lecture or be leery the next time they go out... But I need to let them know that their safety is number 1 - Period... And I don't want them fearful of calling home..

Would You Consider This Bullying???

Casey is a somewhat shy high school girl - She is a nice girl.. Never likes to draw attention to herself.. She is pretty but doesn't think so... She has a hard time verbally saying what she wants to say - she gets very tongue tied... She is a day dreamer... She always wants to make people happy and is fearful of hurting others feelings..

Now Tell Me If You Think She Is Being Bullied....

Casey loves Science and would look forward to going to class everyday until.....

Eva and Ashley are two girls in her class.. Everyday before class - Eva (the ring leader) would tell Casey that she "loved her" and thought she was "hot"... Ashley would go along with whatever Eva said or did... In class - Eva sits in front of Casey and when the teacher is not looking Eva would put her arms behind her and try to grab Casey or Casey's belongings.. Once Eva grabbed something - whether it's a book or Casey's long hair - Eva would take it or pull it.. Casey would ask her to stop in an embarrassed voice - But Eva persists..

As the weeks and months pass by - Eva and Ashley are more aggressive in their pursuit to harass Casey.. They will say things like - Casey - I want to kiss you - can I meet your parents so we could go out on a date.. Oh, Caseyyyyy - Oh Caseyyyyy -(this is during group time) - Casey will ignore Eva but the other kids in the group would laugh at Casey.. (as is the case in most bullying scenarios)... Most of the harassing is of a sexual nature...

This treatment does not happen on occasion it happens everyday - so much in fact that Casey no longer wants to go this class...

Would Love to hear what you think...

Found - Stolen IPod.. Problem - A Classmate Has It...

Here's the scoop.... A few weeks back my 15 year old daughter Nikki had a tennis match at a rival school.. She was late getting out of her history class and in her haste to catch the bus left her purse on a bench in front of her locker in the girls' locker room... When I went to her match that afternoon - she told me what had happened... I asked her if she called the school and she had not.. She left her cell in her purse and did not think to ask someone to borrow theirs... Any hoo - I immediately called the school - they sent someone to the locker room - they found her purse and I had fifteen minutes to get it... or wait until tomorrow - No problem.. yep - so I jumped in my car - sped down the streets like a mad woman drove across town - made it with two minutes to spare... I got her purse - wallet/check.. cell phone/check... $240 IPod touch/missing!

What was there to do? Nothing really... The school informs the students that they are not responsible for lost or stolen items and that expensive electronics should not be at school... So the stolen IPod was signed off as a lesson learned... Until...

Yesterday morning - Nikki was in her math class and a classmate two (2) desks in front of her whips out an IPod.. An IPod with a very distinct crack across it's top - a missing piece of glass in a certain corner and packing tape taped across and vertical.... (Yes - although it was "newer" Nikki dropped it on our tile floors a time or two too many..) Nikki approached the girl and advised her that the IPod was hers and that it had been stolen... The girl according to Nikki was surprised that the IPod had been stolen.. She told Nikki that someone gave it to her (and to a 15 year old daughter - that seemed logical at the moment...) and the girl told Nikki that she would take it home and delete her pictures and songs and bring it back to school.... This Mama - doesn't believe it.... Sooooo

This morning I went with Nikki to the school supervisor's office and let Nikki explain the situation... Although the classmate said she would bring the IPod back today - We thought it would be wise to go on record with the school just in case there was a problem... You never know what could happen.. The supervisor had Nikki write down everything that happened and what was said... Nikki did not know the girl's name but thanks to the electronic age and the fact that the girl was Asian with her hair dyed bright orange (kind of hard to miss) - the supervisor took Nikki's description and was able to pull up the girl's name and picture with a couple of clicks on the mouse... crazy isn't it?

This is where it was left... If the classmate brings the IPod back - Nikki is to go to the supervisor and show the IPod.. If the classmate does not bring the IPod back then Nikki is to go to the supervisor and show that she had not received it.... Wonder if the IPod is a show or no show...

What Do You Think Will Happen???

A Day In My Teenage Daughter's Life

A Typical School Day For My High School Sophomore

6:10 AM - I wake up her up - by turning her light on and being very annoying... I have been known to break out into song...

6:15 AM - Get up... Get up...

6:20 AM - Me yelling - "Are you up?" Her mumbling "Yeah..."

6:30 AM - Me yelling again... "Are you up?" Her: "What? I can't hear you.... What?" Me: "Are you up?" Her "Now I am..."

7:10 AM - Eat a quick breakfast prepared by my loving hands... cereal, fruit, toast, donuts (shh), waffles, or any other quick nutritious meal...

7:30 AM - Out the door. In the car - I double check and triple check that she has everything - purse, huge tennis bag, binder, book, and tote...

7:40 AM - Arrive at school - watch in awe as she juggles all her junk

8:00 AM - 2:15 PM - Normal school - Chemistry - Advanced Algebra - Spanish 2nd year - and her other required courses..

2:15 PM - 4:20 PM - tennis if there isn't a match

2:15 PM - 6:30 PM - tennis if there is a match...

6:40 PM - Home - dinner

7:00 PM - 11:00 - homework... It would be shorter time if she stayed on task but her mind wonders to You Tube - Desperate Housewives on her IPod - netflix. Now she turns in her cell and IPod to me before homework... but she still manages to daydream...

If she is lucky - She may have time to go to her church youth group on non-game days... I try to make sure that she has some fun on the weekends - I don't want her to completely burn out.. Last Friday night she went to Knott "Scary" Farm with friends - the weekend before Homecoming dance... She needs "down" time... and "fun" time...



To get into a four (4) year university - it's much tougher today than it was even four (4) years ago... Over a 4.0 average is expected by many... Minimum of 3 years of advanced math preferred 4.. Minimum of 2 years of a foreign language - preferred 4, Minimum of 2 years of a lab science such as biology and chemistry - preferred 3 and highly preferred classes to be Advanced Placement (AP). Must have a minimum of three (3) AP classes during high school.. AP English is definitely expected.... The competition is fierce for these classes.. For my kid to qualify for the class next year - She must maintain a 95% or higher both semesters in English AND write an essay AND complete an application and interview... then the English department reviews it.. In addition to the class requirements - SAT scores must be outstanding... Must be involved in extra curricular activities - not just a sport... She is also in a few community service clubs.. She will be going down to Mexico soon to volunteer at an orphanage...

Expectations For Teens Are Just Crazy Nowadays!

Am I Being Unreasonable - Seeking Wise Mom Thoughts

I have two teenage girls who are 20 months apart in age.. My oldest is 15 and a sophomore in high school and my youngest is 13 and in the 8th grade.... Because they are close in age - they have shared many of the same activities growing up... But I believe that because my oldest is older she should be allowed certain privileges that the younger one does not have yet....

This weekend my oldest was invited to go to an amusement park for their Halloween "scary-fun"... I am allowing her to go because 1) she is 15 - 2) she is in high school and 3) I personally know the girls that are going and they are sweet kids...

The dilemma is this...

My youngest has been invited to go as well - (she was invited after my oldest had made plans) . When my oldest was this age - I would not allow her to go to night amusement parks without a parent.. I have told my 13 year old "no".. My reason is this: 1) she is 13 and I do not believe she is old enough to go someplace like this without an adult present.. 2) I know her and she will terrorize her older sister.. 3) I believe my oldest should have some "high school" fun without her kid sister hanging around.... My youngest assures me that she would not be with her sister but the fact that that her friends are mingled with my oldest daughter's friends - I find that assurance highly unlikely.....

My question is this... Am I being unreasonable????

High School Back To School Night

Last night was back to school night for my eldest daughter... I have to say high school has changed tremendously since I was in school... The subjects and expectations are far greater... I am not sure I could keep up with her schedule... I most definitely have gained a higher appreciation for the work that she does.. The plan was for the parents to walk to each period in the order my daughter goes... Meet the teacher for about 10 minutes and then walk to the next class.... Easier said... believe me...

First period - Spanish 2... This class is in the furthermost corner from where I drop her off in the morning - She is on the tennis team and needs to drop off her gear at the gym... I had 3 years of Spanish in high school and in this 2nd year my kid is taking - let's just say - it's much more advanced.

Second period - Algebra 1 - This class - is once again the farthest she could go and stay on campus... It's past the gym... She must get a work out everyday - I know I did... I don't remember half the stuff she is learning in Algebra - did Algebra get harder???

Third period - English - Now this is a class I would love to take - they will be reading To Kill A Mockingbird - one of my all time favorite books... As well as Shakespeare and Greek tragedies.. So much fun... I did learn last night that if my kid wants to go to a 4 year college - she must take AP or CP English next year.. To qualify for AP English - she must maintain an "A" with a percentage of 95% or higher both semesters - fill out an application AND write an essay - The English department will then review and advise... The competition is fierce....

Fourth period - Chemistry - I hated this class in school and I'm not sure this class has changed much.... Thankfully - my girl is getting it thus far...

Fifth period - World History - Now this class seemed like a lot of fun - I love love history - the teacher was witty and I know my student likes him - a lot - he makes her laugh while she is learning....

What is great about going to Back To School - is that I learned what is expected of my kid - Where she can get help - how the grading system works and a glimpse of what kind of person her teacher seems to be....

It's going to be a tough year for her - with tennis - she is home no earlier than 4:45 on non-game days and 6 - 7 on games days... and then she has in upwards of 3 hours of homework a night... Times have changed since the early 80's when I was in school but I am thankful there are many resources to help when it's needed......

Friday Blog Hop

Well this has been a super duper crazy week.....

Monday - both girls got braces...



Monday - my oldest started independent study - high school at home..

The rest of the week was spent passing out Motrin for the braces pain... Helping my eldest setup and adjust to a new way of doing school... Praying for my mom and her new battle with breast cancer.. Keeping up the house.. Keeping up with my job... and Making the meals (I am having my family "fast" from fast food for two months..)

This is one mom who is looking forward to the weekend.. so I can collapse...

Getting Ready For Independent Study #1

The past couple of days my daughter has been watching and participating in her on-line orientation for her new on-line/independent high school. She starts this Monday. In the process of the orientation it asked her to take the LASSI-HS Student test. This is a test with multiple questions - many questions are similar - it's a great way to analyze the test takers true tendencies... I have to be honest here... I was not too surprised with the results... She has a long road ahead of her to get back on track and I pray that I will have the knowledge, the patience, and understanding that she will need to help her in a positive and productive way... There are many prayer warriors out here in Bloggy Land - and I am asking you to please pray for her... and for me and for our family during this major transition in our lives...

In the LASSI test she scored extremely low in five areas - Anxiety, Attitude, Concentration, motivation, and time management.... This is what the test advised her to work on in these areas...

Anxiety - needs to develop techniques for coping with anxiety and reducing worry so that attention can be focused on the task at hand.

Attitude - needs to develop a better understanding of how their academic performance relates to their future life goals.

Concentration - needs to learn to monitor their level of concentration and develop techniques to redirect attention and eliminate interfering thoughts or feelings so that they can be more effective and efficient learners.

Motivation - must accept more responsibility for their academic outcomes and learn to set and use goals to help accomplish specific tasks...

Time Management - needs to develop effective scheduling and monitoring techniques in order to assure timely completion of academic tasks and to avoid procrastination while realistically including non-academic activities in their schedule..

I truly believe that this is the right thing for my girl in this season of her life.. I pray that her direction.. her motivation.. her love for learning... her love for herself will come to her... I pray that she will soon realize how precious she really is....

** image from Picasa

On line School - The Wave of the Future?

The count down begins for my eldest to start home school... I am not sure if we could really call it "home school"... I'm not teaching her - there's no way I could... I have a hard time wrapping my mind around the concepts she is learning now... What I mean by home school is that she will be taking her classes on line through an on line high school that is accredited with all the UC and State colleges.

Tomorrow - her and I will participate in the Master's agreement on line seminar.. This will explain how everything works... I have checked out the site and it's pretty cool.. It's paperless, very detailed, and organized... The organized part is exactly what my "day dreamer" needs... At the end of the month she will participate in a 3 day seminar and then the following Monday - school is in session....

Most of the tests are on line via a web cam... The software is state of the art in technology.. no way for cheating... which is a good thing... Because she will be on the UC/CS track - her finals will need to be at their headquarters.. all other tests will be on line.

Today - I started getting everything ready... Optimized one of the desk tops and added a web cam and mic.. Geek squad will be by soon to connect her desktop with the printers in my office. She will also have the capability to do her classes on her laptop... but for the time being though - she'll do it at a proper desk in the office....

What I like about this opportunity for my kid is that - she can study and learn mostly at her own pace. She is a brilliant girl and can succeed in anything she chooses to do.. The online school makes it possible for her do more... in a less stressful environment... If she wants to do a class in the evening - she can do that too... The stress of getting to school on time will no longer be a problem.. The wasted time between classes... the teacher taking attendance or helping other kids - will no longer exist... All her time in class will be "productive" time... and this is a good thing.

The school is like any other school... It has a newspaper... a yearbook.... community service groups... This is a very exciting for my creative one... She was on yearbook in junior high and loved it... Her talent for the written word is incredible.... Another cool thing is that she can now play more tennis with her coach... She can also take a few cooking classes for fun... Volunteer in the church sports program... take belly dancing classes... The possibilities are endless... In case you were getting concerned... No, not all opportunities will occur in the same time frame... My point is that she will have more time to enjoy herself as a kid... Get the education she needs for her future college dreams.. AND socialize in the right situations...

I have done my research and I believe that on line school is the wave of the future... With our state's deficits and less monies going to public education - it makes sense for on line school.. The overhead is so much lower.... The expense of books is gone - buildings to buy/rent - utilities to pay for.. The teachers work out of their homes... the classes are paperless (good for the environment). I also believe that this will be a good thing for the students.. Smaller class rooms and more individual attention....

I will let you know how it goes...

What are Your thoughts On Home/online school?

Sports Help Kids Get The Grade

When I was a kid - sports was something that went on everyday - whether it was at school or in the middle of the street in front of my house. I have many fond memories of playing with the neighborhood kids - everyday was an adventure. We all shared crazy imaginations and moms who always had Koolaid and snacks available to fuel our activities. We rode our bikes from our front porches to the pyramids of Egypt - we went on scavenger hunts for important items. We would play hide and seek for hours - until the street lights came on and then it was time to go home for dinner...

Those days are gone.... Our neighborhood is so quiet... There are very few children or teenagers... I have no idea where they all went off to... My girls have always had to make "play dates" or join different clubs or sports to stay active and socialize with their friends.... I wish my girls could have experienced the carefree and wild days of neighborhood youth and adventure....

Monday night we went to my oldest daughter's Tennis Banquet... It's hard to believe that she is already a freshman. It was wonderful to see the bonding that takes place between the players... The entire senior class players were all awarded high GPA awards... This reminded me how important it is to have our kids in a sport (s)... Statistics show that kids who are in sports are more likely to have better grades because they learn time management and they are usually competitive and driven to succeed...

My girl....

Evolution of The Green Monkey....

Going from a Christian school to a public school can be very challenging. One of the challenges my oldest is facing is biology... Her teacher is a strong believer in evolution.. He has very strong opinions about his belief system.. What he is teaching as fact goes against everything my kid has grown up to believe.. My daughter asked me what she should do about this... My answer was to absorb everything he is teaching... I think it is very important to learn all sides of different belief systems... How can we participate in a conversation about what we believe and why without having some kind of knowledge about other beliefs? To say we believe by faith.. does not go very far with a scientist who looks to Darwin as the Father of Science.

I do believe that there are many things that evolve over time... Take viruses and bacterias for example.. How often have you heard the term antibiotic resistant... This happens when the virus/bacteria evolves into a stronger force and stronger medications are needed... Our body's resistance to germs has evolved over time as well.. I remember watching the War of The Worlds when the aliens started to die - Morgan Freeman's voice over tells us why the aliens could not live on Planet Earth.. Because their bodies did not have the ability to fight the single cell bacteria that humans had evolved over time to fight and continue living...

Today on the way home Nicole (my daughter) told us about an answer her biology teacher gave to a student who asked where the AIDS virus came from... This is how she described her teacher's answer..

"Well you see there was this one cell bacteria that evolved over time into the African Green Monkey... Some human decided to eat this African Green Monkey and the human caught AIDS either my eating the monkey or cutting the monkey open and getting it's blood in a wound.." Yes, this is a true story... I had heard the theory about the African Green Monkey - I know that it has been said that many primates carry the virus that is similar to AIDS.. What I found very odd was that the teacher started the answer by adding "there was a one cell bacteria..." It's crazy to me how a person's belief system can be added to topics that have nothing whatsoever to do with the belief...

For the record - I do not believe humans and/or animals evolved from one cell.. I find the theory incredibly silly.... But I believe it is important to learn the Theory of Evolution - for the fact that many people believe this theory and to wear a Christian chip on our shoulder and refuse to listen and/or understand their beliefs would make us arrogant.. and arrogance is not going to get you a good grade.. nor is it going to give us an opportunity to share our beliefs...

I love C.S. Lewis on Evolution

An egg which came from no bird is no more "natural" than a bird which had existed from all eternity. And since the egg-bird-egg sequence leads us to no plausible beginning, is it not reasonable to look for the real origin somewhere outside sequence altogether? You have to go outside the sequence of engines, into the world of men, to find the real originator of the rocket. Is it not equally reasonable to look outside Nature for the real Originator of the natural order?

The New Potty Mouth

Yesterday morning as I dropped my freshman off to school - she bumped her head and said sh%$... This was the first time I had ever heard her say a real cuss word... My jaw dropped to the floor... Since she was already running late for school - I gave her a stern mom look and left... All day long I kept thinking about my daughter's new potty mouth... Words like that don't fly out without thinking unless they are said often... don't you think???

Last night - I approached her about her new found words.... Her teenage attitude flared its ugly head.. I miss my little girl that never would dream of saying those words... My little girl who saw me as the center of her universe... My little girl who was sweet and cuddly.... Now I have a teenager who rather pull out her fingernails one by one than have a conversation with me about her potty mouth.... As you know - I am constantly "In her Grill" where does that slang come from anyway????

The Talk....

Me: "Not real happy with the S word that I heard this morning- when did you start talking this way?"

Her: "All my friends talk like that. I would be weird if I did not."

Me: " You're weird if you really believe that and if all your friends truly talk like that - then you are hanging out with the wrong kids.."

Her: <= (major scowl) " I like my friends!"

Me: "You are not allowed to talk like that - it sounds awful, immature, and makes you appear to have a small vocabulary and a smaller mind - You are better than that."

Her: <= (rolling her eyes and the scowl continues) "Mom, I am a teenager and teenagers cuss- it's the mature thing to do..."

We went back and forth for quite a while.. I wish I could control this.... control what she says... What she does... I can only talk with her - try to set an example... I was told by many friends and family members that raising a teenager is tough... I had no idea... I have to believe that she does know right from wrong... I have to believe that this phase will end sooner rather than later... I have to believe..... I have to pray.... I have to let God be in control.... cuz frankly - I cannot do this on my own....

What Would You Do?????

When my daughter turned 13 - we agreed to get her a cellphone.. There seemed to be more positive than negative when my husband and I discussed it.. Most of her friends had one... I could reach her more easily..... It would help her connect with her friends over the summer....

Well...... my kid started high school this fall.... She is going to a public school from a Christian school - she has made some new good friends and some new bad friends.... I am happy that the "bad" friends seem to have moved out of the picture for the most part...

Because she has made several new friends - she has decided it was fun to text during classes (she says "everyone is doing it"- so I guess that makes it okay???) So far in the one (1) month she has been in school - her cell has been taken away twice by her teachers.... I found this out by "accident" when she slipped up by telling me why she went to her Biology class after school... She has always maintained an A/B+ average - now she has F's and D's popping up.... It's not that the classes are out of control harder..... it's that (she admitted to this) that she is too busy texting and not paying attention in class... She does need to study and listen - her classes are college prep classes... Her biology teacher one day emailed me to sternly ask me not to text my kid during his class because I was a rude disruption!. My response was HUH? I advised him promptly that I have not texted my child and I would speak to her after school..... She admitted to lying to her teacher - she thought she would not get into trouble if she told him it was me texting....

We have tried different ways to punish her behavior - we took her phone away - only for her to sneak the SIMS card out and put it into her sister's phone.... or a phone that I had no idea we still had... She even borrowed a cell from a friend at school and forgot to give it back - it came home with her!! I have told her to put the phone in her locker (she plays on the tennis team and I need her to contact me when she is ready for pick up) and of course she said she was doing that... Only for me to find over 30 texts on her phone in the middle of ONE class!!!! This is INSANE! She has resorted to lying - sneaking - whatever it takes to text her friends... It reminds me of an alcoholic who cannot resist the temptation of that one drink....

Yesterday - I received an update to her grades - She received another "F" in her honors Spanish class -that was the last straw.... I took her phone to T-Mobile - I asked them what can they do.... I had texting completely removed from her phone and she can only call me, her dad, home, and her sister..... Needless to say she is mad... really mad - she has been in a very bad... very disrespectful mood since yesterday.... She knows why it happened.... She told me she wants a mom that didn't care what she did..... She said that she could not wait till she was 18 and living in a dorm and away from me..... I asked her - "Do you want to go to college?" Answer Yes... "Are you sure? Answer Yes... "Do you think Ds and Fs are going to get you in? Answer No.... So maybe it's not so bad to have a mom that's "In your Grill" (she advised me I'm always in her grill) about your grades???? Answer I don't know.....

What would you do? Poll at the top left corner.

High School Dreams......

A few weeks ago I had a dream that I went back to high school... In my dream - I was getting a second chance - a redo... Starting the 10th grade with the knowledge and wisdom I have now as a forty-four year old... I know crazy, huh? I remember thinking that this time I am going to do it right.... I woke up trying to remember my old locker combination.....

Last weekend my girls and I went to go see the movie Flipped - it is a very sweet coming of age movie - about a young girl who has a huge crush on her neighbor ( a boy her age)- the neighbor does everything he can to avoid her and then suddenly he realizes that he cares for her too... very cute. In the movie Anthony Edwards (Dr. Green - ER or if you are an old timer like me Goose from Top Gun) plays the very unhappy father to the young girl... There is a scene in the movie when he makes the comment that high school was the best time of his life....

I remember later in the day after my dream - I realized that I would never want to go back to high school... There are too many things I would miss.... mostly my girls... I cannot imagine living my life without them..... I have earned every laugh line on this face.... I have forty-four years of beautiful memories.... I have no regrets.... Every mistake and every shining moment has made me the person I am today.. A very blessed woman....

In a few weeks - my oldest will be starting her first day of high school... I am so excited to watch her grow and blossom into the woman she will become... I'm looking forward to having the "a-ha" moments with her... The "I remember when" stories of my crazy and wonderful high school days... I am looking forward to her experiencing the new found freedoms that come with high school but..... I have to admit... I miss the baby I held in my arms not too long ago....