I Am NOT a People Pleaser...

When God was handing out the "people pleaser" gift - I must have skipped that line or was absent that day... Don't get me wrong I do love people.. I will help a friend or family member in need... I will also on occasion, skip what I want to do.. to do what someone else wants. .. There is a give and take.... I'm not a complete witch with a "b"... I will even volunteer in church and school activities when it's convenient for me ... But pleasing people is not on my top list of priorities... And I have to say this...

When I am asked a direct question - I will answer the question truthfully - the good.. the bad.. and the ugly.... I have learned if you are less than honest - the answer will come back to bite you...

When I am asked to do a favor by someone (regardless of who) - I will look at my obligations and if I can accommodate - I will but if I can't - I won't beat around the bush - a no is a no and a yes is a yes... AND I will not feel bad or guilty if I am unable to help.... Life is too short for that.. We do the best we can and move on...

I am not a "Politically Correct" woman.. I have my conservative beliefs and I will not make excuses for them nor will I feel bad that I feel a certain way... Each of us is entitled to our opinions and beliefs.... I believe we ALL must be accepting of one another even if my opinions and beliefs are right and everyone else is wrong

I believe that is there is only ONE way to Heaven - not different roads as Oprah and others may want me to believe... Wishing someone light and happiness - What does that mean anyway??? Do I really care? Or sending positive thoughts...huh????

Now - why am I ranting about this???? I recently was listening eavesdropping on a conversation between two women - they were gossiping about a person they knew mutually. They were complaining about what this person did and did not do for a certain activity... Then they started to toot their own horns about how wonderful they themselves were and all the sacrifices they make for others... And I have to tell you - I was so completely disgusted by these "God Fearing - Christian women"... I was so close to telling them a what for..... but I knew I'd embarrass my husband so I kept quiet..... This time....

If I was able to say something - I would have said something like this... "Do you ladies know that she is taking care of her mother... Do you ladies know that she is so far behind in her mortgage payment she may lose her home... Do you ladies know that she is working two jobs and comes to Church after her shift at work is over? Do you ladies know that she volunteers in a homeless shelter every Friday night? Or that she picks up clothes at garage sales to give to the needy? You two women sit in judgment? Tooting your own horns on how wonderful you are? When God tells us to do things pleasing to Him - For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ. Galatians 1:10 Are we not suppose to do things in private... Not letting your left hand know what your right hand is doing? Matthew 6:3.... Wouldn't it be nice if you two would stop gossiping and get out there and start pleasing God and not yourselves?"

I would love to have had the courage to say the things that were on my mind.... but instead I ranted on my blog......

photo from blog.tinyprints.com

Songs That Make Me Cry At Christmas Time

Christmas is a wonderful time of year... Not only is it the time to spend with your family and loved ones.. it's also a great time to shop AND everything is half off and then with your Kohl's cash and 20% off your entire purchase coupon you Save more.. it was funny the other day when Kara (my youngest) told me that I saved more than I spent.... still trying to calculate that one in my head...

Although Christmas time is a great season for giving - decorating... It is also a time to reflect on our Savior's birth... There are 3 songs that make me cry during this season... When I think about what happened over 2000 years ago... A young girl of 14 (my oldest daughter's age) finds herself pregnant with the Son of God... Here she is a virgin... engaged to be married to Joseph.... The gossip and ridicule she must have gone through... her husband doubting her purity... And I think about her age... The crazy changes in her body... her hormones going all all over the place... The fear of giving birth... The humble feeling of God choosing her to carry his Son....

The song Breath of Heaven is Mary talking to God about her fears... asking Him to calm her... Asking Him why her when there are others more wiser... But she trusts Him and gives Him her all..... That complete trust and love - is beautiful



The other song that makes me cry like a baby is Mary Did you Know... I first heard this song watching the Glory of Christmas.. These lyrics gives me goose bumps
Mary did you know that your baby boy will give sight to a blind man?
Mary did you know that your baby boy will calm a storm with his hand?
Did you know that your baby boy has walked where angels trod?
And when you kiss your little baby, you have kissed the face of God.

I wonder if Mary knew that the birth of her Son would change the world... would Save the world.... The enormity of His birth can not... could not be measured...



The last song is Oh Holy Night - mostly because it reminds me of my dad... It was his favorite song when I was little and when I sang it for him at a school production - he said he could hear me and how he loved it so much.. The lyrics "Fall on your knees - oh hear the Angel voices"....are enough to make my eyes well up...

Dad is in Heaven now...

What Is Important?

The other day - I realized that I have been with my husband Dusty over half my life...... One of our first dates was my 21st birthday.... and I recently turned 45... Where does the time go? Have I accomplished the goals I had for myself when I graduated from school? Have I made a difference in the world? Have I been a good wife? A good mother? A good daughter? A good sister? A good friend?

Looking back on all my "To Do Lists" - I realized that they all consisted of - work, pay bills, make appointments, and other very general things.... Not one item on any of my lists did I make time for the most important things in my life... My husband.... My kids... My family... My friends... and My God...

Focus....

My friend Joe Mathews shared a poignant story to me recently. His best friend's wife was diagnosed with terminal cancer and given a short time to live. Joe said he watched in awe as Dan and his wife, Christine, began to live each day with tremendous clarity and love. When it was nearing the end Joe finally got up the courage to ask Christine the question: "What does it feel like to live each day knowing you are dying?" She raised herself on one arm, and then asked him, "Joe, what does it feel like to live each day pretending that you are not?"
excerpt from 'Jesus Life Coach' by Laurie Beth Jones

My New Year Resolution is this: Make each day count... Love without ceasing.... Focus on what is important.....

Home School Is Not Just For Weird Religious Kids Anymore

I was watching an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer the other day - (one of my the kids' guilty pleasures) and Buffy was talking to her mom about not attending a private school but the possibility of doing home school... Buffy's comment to her mom was "Home school is not just for weird religious kids anymore"... I thought that was funny because my oldest will be home-schooled this Spring and because I am a Christian - I thought some may think (like I used to) that I was using home-school as a way to protect my kids from the real world.... and that is not true.... I am using home school to help my kid to obtain her long term goals...

My daughter is a dreamer... and is easily bored much like I was at her age.. She loses focus and goes off into la la land and before she knows it - class is over and she missed what the assignment was... When she needs that little "extra" help - there are over 30 other kids trying to get the teacher's attention too.... It is difficult to stay on task when there are several things going on around you... It's difficult to do the right thing at times when others are doing the wrong thing and you want to "fit" in... It's difficult juggling several notebooks, class books, notes, and other important things and making it to class in the allotted time frame... and keeping everything organized - I might as well tell my kid to hike to the moon.... Sometimes - no matter how many times you have asked your kid to stay on task... get organized...study.... get good grades... don't forget your homework... don't be late.. - it just doesn't work... It's not that she doesn't want to... she does... It's something she is having difficulty doing and the stress to do it right and keep up - is drastically taking it's toll on her.....

I know I am not smart enough to teach her the things she needs to learn and I am not going to try... She has been accepted into a very good on-line school that is accepted by all the California and nationwide universities... The school offers AP and Honors courses... The difference is that she will have more one on one help.... She will have a counselor that will meet up with her every week... Everything is done via on-line and independent study... No more worrying about making it to school on time... No more 7 hour school days and 3-4 hours a night homework.. The time will always be productive... no more wasted time in classes where the teacher actually teaches for about twenty (20) minutes of the class time... Many times the teacher won't have a plan and will show a movie to pass the time... seriously....

The main question I get from others is "What about Social Skills?" and my question is "What about them?" She has been in a class environment since the age of 2... She is almost 15... If something isn't working... then you need to find something that does.... I will not allow my kid to be a hermit... She will be busy... Doing things that bring her joy.... She loves tennis - she will have more time to play now and will also continue to compete.... She loves kids... She will be an active volunteer in our church's Sports program - over 2000 children go through our sports programs every year... She will hang out with her friends... She will go to dances... She will do what every teenage girl does..

There are many many things that she can do now and obtain a great education with less stress... Like Buffy so eloquently said, "Home school is not just for weird religious kids any more"

Seeking Opinions....

I have a friend - let's call her Kathy.... Well Kathy has a beautiful and very expensive Llardo Christmas Nativity scene on display... It's displayed on a table that is about 4 feet high... Kathy enjoys decorating her lovely home for Christmas.... She has many decorations on display... many of the items are very fragile... But she is very careful ...... her husband and children are very careful.. The decorations are admired but not touched.... From the moment her children could walk/crawl - they knew what was an "okay to touch" decoration and what was a "no-no touch" decoration..... Kathy made sure there were many things that her kids could touch and enjoy so they too could enjoy the Christmas decorations and celebrations....

This year Kathy is having Christmas Eve at her home.... The entire family - aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters, grandparents, and nieces will all be there... Kathy is dreading it this year... Why? Because her cousin has two monsters daughters who are wild and Kathy's cousin does not watch her own children.... Her cousin has had the gall to say - if you don't want it broken then put it up... Now you must understand - the decorations (the very expensive Llardo Nativity scene) is against a wall not in a traffic area.... It's actually in the formal living room where no one really goes....

The cousin's girls are old enough to know right from wrong - one is six (6) and the other is four (4)... I believe the girls should be watched by their parent... I also believe that if one of the girls went into an area that no one was in and started to play with the fragile decorations and broke it... the cousin should offer to replace it or pay for it.... I believe that is the right thing to do... Whether Kathy accepts it or not... the offer should be made...

I believe it is always the parent's responsibility to look out for their own children - regardless of where they are - parenting is a 24 hour a day job... a job that we signed up for cheerfully.. Too many times - parents become too lazy... overwhelmed to train their children... to set boundaries... but we must set boundaries... We need to prepare them for the real world... for school... for other people's homes... where boundaries exist...

What do you think? Should Kathy put up/remove her Christmas decorations or ask her cousin to please watch her kids? Poll at the top of the post...

Christmas holidays can become very ugly when family and friends fight... Please remember the reason for this Festive Season and love when and wherever you can....