I Was A Girl Once Too...

The other day my two daughters and I were talking - talking about anything..... everything.. I just love those kinds of talks.. don't you... We talked about school, dating (scary), God, vacations, make up, and boys..... We talked about what it was like for me growing up.... They were both pretty shocked when they discovered that I did not have a cell phone (they were not invented yet), a computer, or an ipod... Technology has improved quite a bit since I was a kid - the clothes have gotten much better too - but - the feelings, emotions, and insecurities of the "teenager" is the same... Listening to my girls talk about what they feel today could have been me thirty (30) years ago....

It is very difficult for the girls to imagine me being a teen or a kid - On more than one occasion one of them has said that I wouldn't understand because I was a grown up... It's hard for them to imagine me dating - having sleep overs with friends - getting in trouble with my parents - having a crush on a boy - being rejected by the same boy (s) - dreaming of the future.. To my kids, I'm mom - not a girl... not a woman....sometimes not a person - I'm just mom - and that's okay..... and it makes me laugh.... especially when they ask me for permission to marry when they are thirty (30)....

My dream for the future is to have a relationship similar to the one my sister Debbie has with her daughters.. To always be close... To always know there is love... To enjoy each other... and when my niece called my sister her hero - that just about made me ball like a baby.... This is my dream to be the mom that my kids can always count on through thick and thin..... and one day they might even discover that I was a girl once too.....

Saying "hi" on Christmas

This year we broke from tradition and opened presents on Christmas Eve- mostly because this year I was hosting the lunch/dinner and secondly I was hoping to sleep in a little this morning... As luck would have it - I was able to sleep into about 7 am - the girls were anxious to see what was in their stockings and to play on their new laptops that they had opened the night before - they were happy to find another present under the Christmas tree and now at 6:30 pm they are playing their new wii - tennis to be exact. The bummer of the day was that one of the laptops decided to not work - I will be at Best Buy in the am with the other millions of crazies... My heart just about broke for my kid this morning when the on button would not turn her computer on... I will leave it to the geek squad to figure it out.

I have a lot to be thankful this holiday - my sister is here and is recovering very nicely from brain surgery and she looks great - my kids are healthy and happy - my husband is working and healthy - and I am doing very well.... I am extra thankful that the husband decided to clean the kitchen without my assistance - I think that in itself is a great Christmas present....


So I will close this Christmas "hello" by saying I pray that all of you had a very joyous and Merry Christmas with your family and loved ones...

For unto us a child was born - thank you, Jesus - Happy Birthday

A Christmas Story

One of my favorite traditions at Christmas time is watching the movie A Christmas Story about a little boy's quest for a red ryder bb gun... It's a classic - that makes me a laugh out loud every year - my husband, the kids, and I have watched this classic so many times we can recite the dialog along with the characters.....

I Cannot Do It All - Can You?

One of the most difficult things about owning a business from home is ignoring the dishes in the sink, the unmade beds, the messy bathrooms, and the list goes on... When I first started my business from home about thirteen (13) years ago - I was under the delusion that I would be able to handle it all - keep the house clean, the laundry done, the kids entertained, and earn a good living... Well, I was in la la land... There is no way I can do it all.... There is no way I can convince my husband that I cannot do it all.... I'm not sure what he thinks I'm doing from 7 am until 9-10 pm every night....

I wonder why the husband's role has not changed in the past four (4) decades..... The man goes to work - he brings home the "bacon" but he's not frying it up in the pan..... he's sitting in front of the TV watching football.... The wife now needs to work outside (or in my case inside but in my office) of the home - she also brings home the "bacon" - not only that she is frying it up in a pan - cleaning the pan - feeding the kids - doing home work - bathrooms, beds, laundry, and the list never ends.... then finally she makes it to bed exhausted beyond belief...

I blame the Donna Reed show, Leave it to Beaver, Father Knows Best, and all those stupid stupid shows that have led our husbands to believe that a woman can do it all.... except for the fact those moms did not have a business to run or an office to go to every flippin day.... Okay, I'm done with the rant.... anybody else have a stressful day?? anyone???

When Parents Don't Get It...

When I was a child - there were expectations of me.... I was to be respectful to adults.. I was to say "please" and "thank you".... I was to behave myself... I remember my mom pinching me during church service when I was getting a little too wiggly or in my case a lot of wiggly... That's just the way it was back then - Parents controlled their kids - If you went to a restaurant and a child started to act up - one or both of the parents would take that child out of the room - they would not continue to eat their food and not care about others.... that just wasn't done... We as children learned at a very young age to "not touch" what wasn't ours... We knew not to run around a home that was not ours - we just knew because our parents took it upon themselves to parent us..... they sacrificed their wants and needs to make sure they we were presentable to others... That others would not be burdened by our bad behavior...

My husband and I were pretty much on the same page when it came to parenting. We believed in creating an environment that was both happy and healthy but also had boundaries... Kids need boundaries... I believe they want boundaries. Right from the beginning they were both on a sleeping schedule - maybe I was lucky that both girls were good sleepers... maybe - I know that a schedule helped me to be a better parent and the girls knew what to expect... We took them to restaurants from the time they were newborns and when they got older they would quietly color -we never had to leave - not once. We took them to friends' homes - we brought our own snacks and toys to entertain them and if they started to get cranky then we knew it was time to go.. One of my favorite things to do was take the double stroller and we would go to the mall and window shop and afterward we would go to the food court where they would get a happy meal.. I can honestly say that I enjoyed my kids... others did too. It is such a compliment when a stranger comes up to you and says "thank you for having good girls" that has happened more than once.... I think the only time my kids acted up was when they visited their grandparents because with Nana and Papa - there were no boundaries but there was a lot of candy, ice cream, games, and constant attention.. constant stimulation which caused a few melt downs...

I'm not saying we are perfect parents - so very far from it but I will say that being a parent who actually parents was and is a priority to us.... That is why I have such a hard time understanding why some parents just don't get it.... They complain how difficult it is to bring their kids places and when they do - they allow the kids to run around a restaurant or a friends' home. They allow the kids to get into things and when something breaks they tell the friend "You should have put it away or up" That just irks me... No, it's not the friend's responsibility to "kid proof" their home - it's the parents' responsibility to train their children...

A Day At The Beach

Okay, I know everyone thinks their kids are gorgeous - but mine really are... lol You have got to see these pictures.... A photographer and very dear friend took my girls to the beach last Sunday and they played.. For more on my friend, Zaida -visit her at Tower 3 Designs .

There were over 300 pictures to choose from which made it quite difficult.. I had the idea of having Zaida take the pictures so I could frame one for my inlaws and my mom for Christmas - and now I can't decide which to choose - so I'm thinking a calendar... mugs... mouse pads... Tee shirts.. - commemorative plates... the ideas are endless...




Looking at these pictures reminds me on how quickly they are growing up and to enjoy every moment.... I'm truly blessed..

My List Of Important Stuff

This is what I think is important...

To be be a good neighbor.. a good friend
To be trustworthy..do what you say you'll do - excuses are lame..
To laugh out loud
To kiss your husband/wife in front of your kids.....
To listen to others' stories even if you heard it a million times - and smile like you mean it
To pray as a family
To pray alone
To reach out to others
To praise your children over and over and over again...never ceasing..
To be vulnerable..
To love others more..
To smile at strangers
To teach your children to respect everyone.
To set boundaries for your children so others will enjoy them too.
To forgive fast
To forget faster
To listen to your kids
To realize that there is so much to be thankful for.

Patagonia - Real Clothes For Real Weather

The cold weather has finally hit Southern California this week. When I woke up this morning the thermostat read 62 degrees inside and 42 degrees outside... brrr. It rained on all day on Monday. On Tuesday, I could see the mountains covered in snow..... You know what that means? It's time to go to the mountains and play.... It is suppose rain and snow some more the next couple of days...

My kids have developed a fondness for snowboarding and living in So. Cal. it's very difficult to find "real" cold weather clothes. One of my favorite places to go looking for weather resistant clothing, shoes, and accessories is Patagonia. It's easy to find just about everything you need for men, women, girls, and boys. Patagonia was founded on the basic premise of enjoying the outdoors regardless of the weather. The design of the clothing is to keep you warm and comfortable in any kind of weather... I do know that when my kids are snowboarding - they are not uncomfortable because of the cold....

Another thing I truly appreciate is the selection and reviews on their products. When you click on an individual product - not only do you get a very detailed description - you get to read customer reviews on the product.... the great... the good.. the not so good... and the bad...

If you are looking for environmental friendly products - Patagonia uses organic cotton and recycled polyester in their products... In addition - Patagonia sends 1% of their sales to hundreds of grassroots environmental groups.... Check them out - I'm sure you'll be happy you did....

The Alpha Teenage Girl...

The other day I received a phone call from my teen.. She had half day at school because of finals and asked if she could go to the mall with a group of friends.... friends I did not know.. She assured me that a mom of one the girls was going with them... I told her I would go to the the school and meet the mom and girls and get the specifics - Where? How long? and Do I pick up? or Do they drop off? When I arrived at the school... the girls were gone....

My daughter sees me and walks to my car alone.. She has tears welling up in her eyes... I asked her what happened.. She said that a group of girls that she hangs out with from school was going to the mall - she asked if she could go... one of the girls said sure... I'm not sure exactly what really happened except one of the girls in the group (I call her the alpha girl) does not like Nikki (my kid) and convinced the others to go without her...

Nikki has no idea why this particular girl dislikes her so much - This particular girl isn't a nice girl.. but for whatever reason the other girls want to be her friend... they do what she says.. they take her abuse and come back for more.. My kid wants to be her friend... I asked her why.. and Nikki did not have an answer...

Thinking back to the days of old when I was a young teen - I remember there were kids that just had that personality that people gravitated too. There was no rhyme or reason... we just did. We looked up to those kids... their perfect lives.. their perfect everything and who cared if they were meaner than a rattle snake? We just wanted to be a part of their world...

Nikki finds it difficult to believe that I understand how she feels.. I've been in her shoes.... I think all teens at one point in their lives have walked in her shoes... It's the power struggle that happens when kids come into their own... It's the testing of boundaries and friendship... It's just plain hormones....

My advice to her was to put herself out there and invite friends over to our home... or a movie.... or shopping. Nikki is probably the kindest soul I know... She loves.. she loves completely... she gives herself.. She doesn't play the games that so many teens do.. She doesn't know how and I am thankful for that... But because she has a moral compass of right and wrong... it has prevented some teen friendships....

I know that Nikki will have a happy life just because she is an incredible person... She will have real friendships.. deep friendships.... While writing this post and thinking about my eldest.. I am reminded that I have been so lucky to be blessed by this kid.. She is always willing to lend a helping hand... give a hug and a kiss... watch a silly movie... and she was willing to dance the twist with me - to my dancing Santa music ornament... You got to love that....