Mr. T-Mobile Man, I Got A Problem

So I am at the T-Mobile store today. Dusty's (the husband) blackberry keeps dying and we needed to find out why... The sales person was a complete moron - I was trying to explain to him what had been happening with the phone when he grabs it out of my hand- takes off the back and says in a "I am God and I know everything voice" it's the battery - it's expanded - you need to buy a new one.... Well, Mr. T-Mobile man - that battery is new like "yesterday".... can I finish explaining to you what is going on? Again the Neanderthal says it's the battery, I'll get you a new one... and goes in the back - puts the new one in and says it's fixed..... Mr. T-Mobile man... will ya listen before ya open your trap... (didn't say that but I really wanted too)... My husband said that after ten minutes of using the phone it just dies with the battery showing fully charged... Well, Butt Breath says, well this new battery has been in for ten minutes and it's still showing charged..... Mr. T-Mobile man - I SAID when he is using the phone not when it's idle... So I call Dusty and tell him what's going on... Dusty said to stay on the phone with him and Lizard Man will see what we're saying..... The Lizard said no less than six times.. it's the battery - I've been doing this for seven years and I know what I'm saying..... Mr. T-Mobile man, how about I stay on this here phone with my husband for a few more minutes and let's just see what happens - I'm just going to walk around in the mall.. Mr. I think I know everything and man do I look stupid - grabs the phone out of my hand (with my husband on the line)... again and says it's still fully charged.. Now I just want to bang my head against the wall.... any wall.. Mr. T-Mobile man did ya miss the part where I said the phone is showing fully charged and still dies??? Get the earwax out of the ears man!!! So I go for a walk - talking to Dusty... after about five minutes... "hello? Are you there?" the phone is truly dead.....
I walk into The T-Mobile store and Mr. "My Poop Doesn't Stink" is standing in front..... I can't tell you how good it felt to show him the dead phone...... SEE, IT'S DEAD.... You know what the Awful Little Man asked me? "What did ya do to it?" Can you see the steam coming out of my ears? My face turning ten shades of magenta.... Mr. T-Mobile man - all I did was talk... check security camera - do whatever it takes.... The phone is defective and I want a replacement, please... You are not going to believe what he does and says next...... He takes the phone - takes the battery out - puts in back in - phone comes back on..... are you ready???? Mr. My Head Is So Far Up Butt says - "oh it works and the battery is fully charged"
Okay, Mr. T-Mobile man - the phone is defective obviously - what can I do to get my husband a phone that actually works? Bird Brain says we need to call a phone technician so that he could ask a bunch of questions - determine "IF" it's broken and "IF" it's broken they will ship out a new one in five days.... so then I ask Demon Man - can I get a loaner for my husband since he will out of town for a week on business..... "Oh, we don't do that" I walk out frustrated....
Get home call the phone technician and yep it's broken..... and here is the kicker.....

IT'S NO LONGER UNDER WARRANTY!! IT EXPIRED AFTER 12 MONTHS - WE HAD THE PHONE FOR 15 MONTHS!!!!