I Hope He Says "Yes"

This morning when I was laying in bed - I prayed... I prayed to God to bless my family with a change... A Big change... It might be a relocation... it might be something completely different... Whatever that Big change is - I want it... I feel as if I am in a standstill.... I need an adventure... I need something... I just have not figured it out yet...

I've lived in Southern California my entire 44 years.... I have been in the mortgage industry for 24 years... I've been married for 21 years... I have had the same haircut for about six (6) years... I have about ten (10) main dishes I create... Not much of anything new has really come my way...

There's a possible adventure in my future... An adventure like no other... My heart is racing... My kids are excited.. My husband is nervous and dare I say excited... (he holds his cards very close to his chest)... Nothing is for sure... nothing really ever is until something happens... The anticipation can be fun... nerve racking... exciting... I have so much nervous energy that I feel like a balloon that is ready to burst...

So this morning - I prayed... and tonight I will pray again.. I know God answers all my prayers.... but I am really really hoping that the answer to this one prayer will be "Yes"

The Dark Side Of The Net

Being a parent is the most difficult job I have ever had..... will ever have.. Don't misunderstand me - it's the best and most joyful experience too.. But lately - I just don't know what to do... what to say... how to react.... I confided in a very wise friend today and she gave me sound advice... She said when my child is sleeping - pray over her. Pray for wisdom... Pray that any gateway that may be open to Satan to close.. Pray for protection.. Pray for control..

The days of "because I said so" are over... I am no longer the knowledgeable one.... someone else is... anyone else is.... the days of puberty have come full force.. along with the thoughts of boys, sex, and the quest for more knowledge of the unknown... I have recently discovered that the Internet is not a good thing for a child that has a hard time controlling her impulses... the Internet can be that gateway to bad things.. It's very easy to find things that a thirteen year old child should never see... there are no blocks.. no way to stop it... As of today, my kids are not allowed on the Internet without an adult present.... things are just too scary... just too perverted... at least for a child that just can't say "no".....

The Internet has been a great tool to use for my business... my blog.... shopping..... answers to questions... but I have discovered that there is also a dark side... a very dark side and that draws people in... children in..... After my recent experience with the "dark side of the net" - I have learned that I was naive to a degree.... I did not grasp the darkness in some individuals..... I have learned a lesson as disturbing as it is.....

It is so frustrating to me that I have many of the answers my daughter seeks... Even though it has been a very long time since I was a teenager - I do remember some of the angst.. some of the drama.... some of the pain... and of course some of the happiness too. She has so many gifts... she is smart, she is funny, she has servant's heart, and she loves the Lord.... But... she is a "loner" - I can tell she wants to be part of a group... she wants to be loved and accepted... but she gravitates towards the other kids who are unsure.... who are "loners".... I want so much for her to have a "good" friend... a friend who will lift her up and not drag her down... Who is interested in good healthy things and can initiate a spark in my own child's heart....

So tonight when my sweetheart is deep in slumber - I am going to pray over her... and when I lay my head down to sleep - I will pray for God to give me the wisdom and the right words to say.... Being a parent is tough....

Families That Pray Together Stay Together

Good things happen to families that go to church together. It's hard for me to imagine my life... my kids' lives.. my husband's life without God being the center.. the focus.. God does not care what church you go too... A great friend of mine holds "church" at her home along with her husband every Saturday night and the people who would not ordinarily go to church in a "corporate church environment" go to her home church.... they are meeting God up close and personal... and that is what God sees.. Going to church strengthens us because of the like-mindedness of the faith of those present. Of course no church is perfect and going to church does not make you a Christian but a supernatural experience does occur and good things will happen because of your obedience.

Personally for me - I enjoy Sunday mornings. I like meeting with my Home Builder's (parents with children/teens) Sunday school group. Everyone in that Sunday school room - I can call a true friend... my supporter... my sister or brother. My girls enjoy getting together with their friends in Sunday school to have a little fun, talk, and debate before the actual service. One of the things that I find amazing is that in our small Sunday school discussions - we will touch on a subject that we feel needs to be further discussed and/or studied and then we go to the church service and somehow - the sermon covers what we were discussing... it was not planned by us or the pastor... it is such a God thing.. when you open the door for Him - He does walk through and He loves to show His love for us!!!

In the last couple of years - I have found myself craving more of Him. My prayer time is continuous - my love for Him is stronger - my trust in Him is better.. I know it is because I have wrapped myself in His word.. He no longer is a stranger whom I worship... He is my Father whom I have an one on one relationship with and I want others to enjoy the kinship I have...

One of the things I love to witness is my daughters praying... whether it be at mealtime, in their room, or together. Their words come from their heart... I love that... I love the old saying - "A family that prays together... stay together.."

Love Dare Day 16

Today I am to start praying for Dusty's heart. Pray for three specific areas where I desire for God to work in Dusty's life and our marriage. My first thought was only three? I have so many...
I could sit here and give you a list of all the things I want to change but I won't. If you have been reading this blog I am sure you already know what we need. I can not change Dusty. I don't have a magic wand and boom he's my prince charming. He's exactly the man I married 20 years ago. But for the past nineteen and half years I have been trying to change...Isnt' that crazy.. It's frustation at the highest level to try to change someone. It's like trying to change my dog into a cat....It just can't be done! And you know what - there's no guarantee that following this love dare is going to do anything to Dusty's heart....but I can feel mine changing everyday. I can honestly say my heart has grown a larger capacity for tolerance and patience. I can make myself change..with God's help..
I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Dusty is noticing a difference. I also know that hes testing me to see how I will react to something. Just the little things that would normally get a rise out of me. Asking the same question over and over again because he doesn't like my first answer...that could drive a saint insane...today I didn't let it affect me. And if you thinking did I change my answer....well no I did not.
Today Dusty made sacrifices for me. He flew in from Arizona around 4:30 tonight we had to pick up the kids for tennis at 5:00. Dusty is very anxious to get home to his comfortable surroundings after traveling. But today, he went with me to mom's house. She recently fractured her pelvis and is in a lot of pain. I promised to help her. In addition to that he took me to my favorite restaurant in Long Beach as a surprise. I don't think he would have considered doing that two weeks ago.....
I am not going to say things are easy..because they are not... They are better than before but we do have a long road a head of us.
I know prayer works and know God wants that relationship with me. I also know that He wants Dusty and I to be happy. He just wants me to ask Him and pray to Him to intercede in our marriage. I know God can "fix" Dusty and our marriage more than I can... Who knows maybe it's me that needs more of the fixing...So today, I will start praying for Dusty and our marriage everyday. I will pray with a caring and loving heart.
Tomorrow I am to love in spite of negative issues. Until then