A Message Thirty-Three Years Later...

When I was in the 7th grade I had two best friends - we were the three musketeers... We did everything together... Well - one day I was at one of the girl's homes and we were having a good time and I said - that I enjoyed being with her the most... (I truly felt that at the time) A week or so later - I was at the other girl's home and we were having a good time and I said - that I enjoyed being with her the most.. (again I truly felt that at the time)... My tender age of 12 did not prepare me for the backlash those innocent comments would create...

One night I received a call from Kathy (name change) and she was mad... She said that her and Jennifer (name change) had talked and they realized that I can told each of them that I liked them the best... Kathy demanded that I choose which one I liked the best... I said I could not that I liked both of them... The call got pretty ugly and she said she would not be my friend until I picked one... Oh - the junior high drama of girls..... As it turned out - I became friends with another girl named Tammy - well Tammy and I just hit it off great and Kathy was not happy about that... So during lunch one afternoon (the last week of 7th grade) - Kathy (so I believed) dared a boy to throw an orange at me - he did as 7th grade boys do (they have to do a dare, don't you know?) and the orange hit me square in the back..... I turned around and all I saw was Kathy pointing her finger and laughing at me.... I assumed that she threw the orange and I was mad.... I walked right up to her and punched her in the face... *** This was the first and only time I had ever hit someone... Well Kathy ended up with a broken nose..... Our friendship was forever gone... beyond repair... I never saw her again except at a college party many years later.....

Thirty-three years later.....

The other day I received a message from a Kathy... Face book has made it quite simple to find people from your past and in your present.... So this is what Kathy said.....

" I was looking for someone we grew up with and saw your name, and I stopped... saw your profile photo, your kids, and your obvious love for them. Have wondered if you ever regretted turning on one of your closest friends, and the physical and emotional harm you caused. I had 3 surgeries to repair the damage to my nose. The other part was harder"

Talk about a shocker... I wasn't quite sure how to react... But I thought maybe she was looking for closure.. maybe - so this was my response.....

"I have often thought about you over the years and yes - I have regretted that day more than I can say. Now that my own daughters one finishing junior high and the other starting - I see the damage and immaturity that 7th grade girls can do to each other and it's awful. It's hard for me to believe I was once that self centered little child. I am truly sorry that I caused you so much physical and emotional harm thirty years ago. I hope that you were able to overcome it and lead a happy and healthy life."

The more I think about her note the more I wonder how her life has been the past thirty (30) plus years.... Has she lived her life as a victim? Is she a person that blames others for all the bad things that have gone on in her life? Is she a parent? Has she matured since the 7th grade? Did she forget her part in the drama? I can't imagine staying angry about anything for such a long time... I can not imagine holding my fourteen (14) year accountable for something she did two (2) years ago... This is just weird to me... Am I missing something? I do not take violence lightly nor do agree with it in any form - but we were children for crying out loud...

** Her family did sue mine for $50,000 - I'm not sure how much they received but I do know that it was more than enough to pay for surgeries and counseling.....

What do you think?

I Wrote The Book On 'Boy Crazy'

When I was a kid growing up my mom would often tell me that I was going to learn from her mistakes.... I had rules growing up -rules to protect me - rules to help me become responsible - rules to help me live in the real world... Of course, I thought my mom was over protective... completely irrational and extremely old fashion... So when puberty hit and I knew more than my mom ( every teen is smarter than their parents) - I looked for ways to work around her rules....

Now I have two girls... both are teens... both are "smarter" than me.. both think I am over protective... completely irrational and extremely old fashion.... Looking back on the things I did in my youth - I am lucky (seriously) that I wasn't hurt... or worse... It's funny how my daughters believe I have no idea what it is like to have my hormones take over my mind and body... They believe I have no idea what it feels like to be crazy about a boy or two or three.. When I was a teen - I could have written the book on "Boy Crazy" They don't believe that I "get" peer pressure... Oh my girls, I remember the pain and the joys of being a young teen... I remember wanting to grow up faster... I remember wanting my first kiss... my first boyfriend.. my first.....

Because of the things I did growing up - I am a stricter parent... (I did things that my parents never found about it.) I became the master of sneaking out of the house... Remember "party lines" that was the 1978 - 1981 version of the Internet to meet the opposite sex.. I got caught once and my phone was taken away for a couple of weeks.. The next time I wasn't caught and met a much older teen - I was 15 and he was 18... I climbed out my window and went to a Queen concert over 20 miles away.... other nights I was at "much older" crowd parties - hanging out at the beach .. I thought I was cool - I thought I was safe.... Now that I am a forty-four (44) year old mother of two daughters - the idea of my kids doing those things scares the crap out of me.... I was lucky.... In today's world - that kind of behavior may not be so lucky..... My youth may have made me become even more sensitive to what's out there thus being more protective... maybe..

So the other day - my oldest got caught doing something that she knows she shouldn't do.. She's been caught a few too many times lately - so she is being punished... She has lost all her privileges - Everything - her phone, TV, IPOD, computer, and has to go to bed early.... She can earn back her privileges but it will be only one privilege at at time.. All we ask is that she have a good attitude and use good judgment... Ten consecutive days of good behavior she can earn 1 privilege back.. I don't know if we are doing it right - I have to pray that I am making the right decisions.. that she will learn the consequences for good and bad behavior.. The world can be a scary place....

So my kids will continue to think that I am over protective, completely irrational, and extremely old fashion and that's okay..... I love them so very much and my goal is to give them the opportunity to have a life that is far better than mine... Just like my mom's dream was for me... So I really Have Become My Mother...

Going Public.... Yikes!

It's hard to believe that both my girls will be graduating from their schools in a couple of weeks.. My oldest from 8th grade and the youngest from 6th grade.. This is the last year they will be attending their private Christian school..... This fall they will be going public... yikes... No more uniforms... No more prayer... No more Christian values ( in the curriculum)...

Making this transition was a difficult decision to make... After much thought, prayer, and pro/con lists we believe that our decision is for the best.... We have learned that staying in a Christian school does not necessarily protect our kids from the "real" world.. In many ways - the kids can be just as awful... The teachers can be cold and distant... Having the title "Christian" does not instantly make a person warm and fuzzy.... Just look at me... I know that I can be very unpleasant.. just ask the husband... the kids.. and I'm on the women ministry team... lol...

The girls will be going away to college before we know it.... I will not be there to guide them... The next few years - I believe will give them the opportunity to make the right choices in a "mom safe" environment... It will give them the chance to stand up for what is right... Make new and exciting friends... Friends that can last a life time... at least that is my hope.... Another plus - is now the school tuition payments will be going towards the college funds....

I believe our decision was the right one and it's great to know that the girls are excited about this new chapter in their lives.... Now if we can slow down the clock.... they are growing up way too fast...... I am sooo NOT ready for college...

My Space Has Been Invaded!

I know this may sound like I am whining and I don't care! My space has been invaded and I DO NOT LIKE IT!!!! As you know, I run a business from my home office. My office is a great set up for me. I have 3 operational desks for assistants as I need them. I have a very busy office and at times it can be a little messy but the great thing about it being my office is that I know where everything is... if I am looking for a certain piece of paper - I know it would be in a stack of papers on the floor to the right of my desk... because why? IT'S MY OFFICE....

So - yesterday I had my appointment with my doctor of gynecologic oncology... You see - my regular gynecologist moved and I was without a girly doctor and because my girly stuff is complicated to say the least I needed a doctor that would not assume I am a hypochondriac - Yes - my body is a medical marvel... and when I go into detail - it just sounds down right crazy... Any hoo... I have had a pain that seemed to come from my left ovary and it radiates to my back... It does not hurt all the time but I can feel it all the time so - on Monday I had an ultrasound... the doctor reviewed my ultrasound and said my ovary is fine - so no idea why I'm in pain... He said since it's my left side it might be my bowels or I may never find out... great... In addition to that - the doctor was not Dr. Gentle... I am still sore.... So when I got home yesterday - I was NOT in the best of moods...

When I walked into my office - my desk was cleared of ALL my papers and folders... My neat stacks on the floor - GONE.. My boxes of files GONE and the desks and floors polished and washed.... I about LOST IT!!!! You see - the husband is using one of my desks in his hunt for a job... He started out by taking out my files and such out of the desk he is BORROWING.. <= key word.. I bit my tongue on that one... My "messy" office bothered him so while I was away he took over and cleaned it and now I cannot find a thing....

Instead of thanking him - I yelled at him.... I let ALL the stress I have been feeling out... My personal space gone - My health concerns - His job concerns - Are we moving? Are we staying? Too much work and not enough time.. Everything out in one big huge out of control explosion... and he just looked at me... No words... Just complete and utter shock.... The poor guy thought he was doing a nice thing... even though I asked him in the past to not move the stuff around... He did not hear what I said... all he saw was a "mess" and there you go...

Note - of course I did apologize for my out of control yell-fest... But I will not apologize for being angry - there are things in our lives... our businesses that are to be left alone - especially when asked.... What do you think?

** picture from flicker/yahoo

Tuesday Was A Great Night For TV

Last night was a great night for TV - watching the final three (3) American Idols compete - I can confidently say that Lee DeWyze will be the Winner.... When he sang Hallelujah - I had tears running down my face - he was amazing... The crowd and judges went nuts... I have never seen such a reaction.... I love Crystal Bowersox too - she will go far in her career.. but Lee has consistently out-sang her for the past four (4) weeks.... Casey has lost his touch.... He is stuck in the same singing zone and he can't find his way out....

My new favorite show Glee came on - this week did not disappoint - Neil Patrick Harris guest starred - that guy is funny.... but I can't help but think I'm watching Doogie Howser... The music was great once again... I tried to find the video of last night but it's not up yet.. too bad..
Click here to watch the entire episode....

Listen to Lee sing - don't forget to have a tissue ready...