I Need To Work Smart...

The past six months or so - I've been on "vacation" from work (earning money work)... You see - I have been in the mortgage industry since 1986... (yes I am old) and I have been self employed since 1996.... I have a little mortgage loan processing business out of my home office - well - used to be small... Because of the crazy low interest rates - it stopped being little about two years ago... but - right in the middle of the busiest refinance madness - I had to put the brakes on... Why - you may ask... Well let me tell you....

Last year the federal government decided that there was too much fraud... too many loan officers making too much money... too many loans going into default... too many bad loans... Too many borrowers getting "screwed" out of money by junk fees (I have to agree with this one) -So the feds decided to have all the loan officers (that do not work for a federal bank) take two tests - one for the state they work in and one for the Federal/national government... The tests (also known as the SAFE act NMLS tests) were created to be so difficult that the majority of loan originators would fail... The purpose for this was to weed out the "undesirables".. Even though I am not a loan officer - the Department of Real Estate (DRE) had put into effect that all Contract loan processors and Contract underwriters must take the two tests.. The hang up with taking the two (2) tests was that a Contract processor who works with more than one broker (which I do) must have their own broker's license in order to take the NMLS tests...

I did not have my license - working as a processor since 1986 - it was never required... Now qualifying to take a broker's exam is not that easy... If you have your four (4) college degree and have completed 8 courses (ethics, appraisal, business law, and a few more - can't remember them off the top of my head) You can qualify for the broker exam... If you do not have a four year degree - you must document like crazy that you have worked full time in the industry for over two years... AND take the required 8 courses and hope and pray that the DRE will accept it... After you get the broker exam green light - You must take a five (5) hour exam - I studied for weeks and took a two day crash course but still when I was standing in line to walk into the testing room - there were two people in front of me that were there for their 2nd time - they failed before... Panic began to set in with me... When I sat down to take the exam - I had to close my eyes and pray to God to calm me... When I completed the exam - I was pretty sure I passed... I found out 5 days later that I had...

The exam done - now I needed to incorporate myself - That took time - once I was incorporated - I had to have the DRE accept my corporation - they did end of July... Once that was done - I had to get a ID number for the SAFE act - for my person AND my corporation... Once that was done - I had to take 20 hours of pre-licensing education - I spent a over 20 hours in a class room over a very L O N G weekend - okay that was done... Now to study for a test that is supposedly not a test you can really study for... I purchased an on-line study thingy to help me pass the SAFE act tests.. I took the both tests last Saturday morning... I honestly do not believe the studying form the on-line thingy helped in the least - not one question that I studied was on either of the tests... The 20 hour pre-license class - most definitely helped... The test was via a computer and I got instant results.. I passed both tests..... Now I am waiting for the DRE to give me the green light - which I should get by tomorrow - all other requirements have been done - credit check - back ground check - too much money paid out......sponsorships....

Now the work smart comment... I have two teenage girls... A home... A husband who travels a lot.... In addition to taxi services... maid service... waitress serving... I need to work for money not just hugs - smirks -attitude - kisses.... The mortgage business is a demanding one - a business that I have put in 60+ hours a week in.... I don't want to work that long but I want to earn the money that those hours made me... So - this is my plan... When the work load gets demanding - I am going to branch out and get help... You heard it here - I now know I can NOT do it all... Wow - therapy is helping me... Yes, my name is Kelly and I CAN NOT DO IT ALL....

So today - I am making my "To Do Lists" and getting ready to work smart.....

Expecting Perfection = Arrogance

Do you ever give yourself unrealistic goals? Higher expectations than you give others? Today, I realized that I do that to myself... I expect myself NEVER to make mistakes and when I do - I get mad... Mad at myself.... I find myself scrambling to make it right.... I don't know what I expect to happen... The world will not end.... My clients will not leave me... neither will my husband... my kids.... my God...

I used to tease my sister that she was a people pleaser and she needed to say "No" on occasion... I did not understand at the time it is a difficult thing to do... Being a business owner or a friend makes it difficult to say "I can't do it right now" or "Wait until I can help you" or the worst thing that I can imagine saying especially to my clients "Can you please do it yourself this time" yikes!!!!... I am trying to teach myself no matter how hard I try - I will never please everyone - all the time.... There will be times that I just mess up and I have to accept that I am not perfect... To expect otherwise is pure arrogance and that is not a trait that I want to continue to have.... Yes, I just called myself arrogant...

One of the most difficult decisions I have made lately was to back out of Women Ministry... I loved serving God and the women of my church in this manner.... But life has taken over... Responsibilities of late have been beyond normal.... beyond extreme... The other day I was working in my office and I had the most extreme stomach burning pain... I believe that I am causing myself to have an ulcer.... I know that they do run in my family - both parents and I think both sisters too..... I realized sitting here in my office this Sunday afternoon - scanning files while I type this post that I am burning the candle at both ends.... Something needs to give...

I am thankful to God for the abundance of work I have received - especially since I am the sole provider at this time - I will always do my best.... I will always give sterling service BUT - I cannot expect myself to do 20 things at one time and do them perfectly... I need to prioritize better and stop worrying that if I don't do something the minute a client, my husband, my friends, or my kids ask me that the world will end.... Because it most likely won't....

My Space Has Been Invaded!

I know this may sound like I am whining and I don't care! My space has been invaded and I DO NOT LIKE IT!!!! As you know, I run a business from my home office. My office is a great set up for me. I have 3 operational desks for assistants as I need them. I have a very busy office and at times it can be a little messy but the great thing about it being my office is that I know where everything is... if I am looking for a certain piece of paper - I know it would be in a stack of papers on the floor to the right of my desk... because why? IT'S MY OFFICE....

So - yesterday I had my appointment with my doctor of gynecologic oncology... You see - my regular gynecologist moved and I was without a girly doctor and because my girly stuff is complicated to say the least I needed a doctor that would not assume I am a hypochondriac - Yes - my body is a medical marvel... and when I go into detail - it just sounds down right crazy... Any hoo... I have had a pain that seemed to come from my left ovary and it radiates to my back... It does not hurt all the time but I can feel it all the time so - on Monday I had an ultrasound... the doctor reviewed my ultrasound and said my ovary is fine - so no idea why I'm in pain... He said since it's my left side it might be my bowels or I may never find out... great... In addition to that - the doctor was not Dr. Gentle... I am still sore.... So when I got home yesterday - I was NOT in the best of moods...

When I walked into my office - my desk was cleared of ALL my papers and folders... My neat stacks on the floor - GONE.. My boxes of files GONE and the desks and floors polished and washed.... I about LOST IT!!!! You see - the husband is using one of my desks in his hunt for a job... He started out by taking out my files and such out of the desk he is BORROWING.. <= key word.. I bit my tongue on that one... My "messy" office bothered him so while I was away he took over and cleaned it and now I cannot find a thing....

Instead of thanking him - I yelled at him.... I let ALL the stress I have been feeling out... My personal space gone - My health concerns - His job concerns - Are we moving? Are we staying? Too much work and not enough time.. Everything out in one big huge out of control explosion... and he just looked at me... No words... Just complete and utter shock.... The poor guy thought he was doing a nice thing... even though I asked him in the past to not move the stuff around... He did not hear what I said... all he saw was a "mess" and there you go...

Note - of course I did apologize for my out of control yell-fest... But I will not apologize for being angry - there are things in our lives... our businesses that are to be left alone - especially when asked.... What do you think?

** picture from flicker/yahoo

Today I Will Wallow - Tomorrow I Will Move On...

Do you ever wonder when you will get a break? You know the kind where something just goes your way... No drama... No waiting... No problem... No raised hopes only to be burned to the ground... Today - I am really angry and I will wallow....

This is what I am angry about: A few weeks ago - an executive from a company in my husband's field - discovered that my husband was available... He called the husband and started selling hard on a position that just become available... He said that he knew my husband for the past 23 years.. knew that he would be perfect for it.. He said that it was His decision on who to hire... He said he wanted the husband out there immediately to meet (not interview) all the team players.... After the last interview - we were told he had great feedback and he'll have an offer by the end of the week -whether it was verbal or written... That was in April... All of a sudden - the executive emails the husband and states that he is really sorry but he has to interview a couple of internal candidates (they posted the job after my husband was contacted - company policy to post) and to hang tight - the hiring will be pushed back 2 weeks... So our life has been virtually on hold - due to the fact that we were made to believe this was basically a done deal after the last interview.... and it would be a waste of time for the husband to interview the other leads he had going... Big mistake....

Today received an email - saying that a decision has not been made yet but..... the internal candidates look really good and the company prefers to hire from within if possible... Now - I completely understand this part.... What makes me angry is that why did he not interview the internal candidates first by following the company policy and if he wasn't happy with that selection then have my husband go out... What I am angry about is the husband was told that he was the choice.. and now he may not be.... It's not the job - I am angry about - it's the wasted time... the raised up hopes of possibly moving 2000 miles away...

I know I am suppose to say things like - God knows what's best for us... (I have said it many times) and He does... But that doesn't make me less angry... or frustrated... The husband still might get the job.. who know...? But today - I am going to wallow in my anger - so tomorrow I will be done and I can move on and help the husband to move on.. I need to be strong for him... I need to be steadfast.... I need to be supportive... I need to look up.... We I just need a break....

Running Around Like A Chicken

Growing up my mom used to say - "I've been running around like a chicken with its head cut off" - Growing up on a farm - she had experienced this crazy phenomenon...

Well as you know - I've Become My Mother! and I can honestly say that this week - "I've been running around like a chicken with its head cut off!" Thankfully I do not have the visual to support this thought.... What I can say is that I am going in a thousand different directions - trying to maintain a business, be a mother to two incredibly busy teens, and be a supportive wife... Most weeks... most days are great - I can honestly say I love my life... I am truly blessed... But there are days that I would love to just stick my head in the sand and hide... I'm sure you know the feeling....

This waiting is not bringing out the best in me... The extreme highs and lows of the wait are difficult to say the least... I do trust God to know what's best for me.. best for us as a family. That is not an issue... But my desire for an adventure is... My desire to know things RIGHT NOW is.....

So this week - we have been preparing ourselves for what may come.... Cleaning out rooms... shredding 20 year old tax returns.. (Yep, I don't throw much away), remodeling the kids' bathroom (new tile, sink, and vanity)... While still running a busy business... still obtaining new clients... still helping with homework, still cooking dinner, and still just being a mom... a wife... a woman...

So what am I going to do today? I cooking chicken of course...

This Is Where We Are....

As many of you know we were suppose to have news last Friday on the husband's new job opportunity.... This is where we are.....

He interviewed a week ago last Thursday, Friday, Monday, and Tuesday.... The Feedback was very promising.. he was very well received.. I may not have told you that the person doing the hiring has known my husband professionally for over twenty (20) years and he was so fired up that the husband was available that he had him come out before the job was posted on the company job board... or whatever you call the online postings nowadays... After all the interviews and after all the traveling... and after all the excitement... My spouse was told he had to apply on line... umm okay....

So now... there are 3 applicants that have applied and company policy requires them to be interviewed... Things are still looking very good.... But now instead of a few days of waiting.. We are looking at a minimum of two (2) weeks of waiting.... We are very excited about the possibility of moving to the South... I'm treating it like a new adventure.... The kids are also excited... If husband of mine does not get the job - of course we will be disappointed but that would be okay too... (I keep telling myself that) You know - how it is when you get so fired about something and it doesn't happen... you are bummed but you continue to the next thing...

I want to say that I'm being a Pollyanna about this.... But in all honesty - I am irritated .. I don't like being in limbo... I don't like to wait... I have never been a patient person... My cousin recently read my status on Facebook - Which said... "Delays.. delays.. delays.. I hate delays.. 2 weeks worth of more delays..." his comment to me was "Obviously God thinks you need to work on patience.." I'm beginning to think He does....

I have decided to NOT watch the pot the next two (2) or more weeks... I am going to continue working... I am going to do some major Spring cleaning - throwing out, giving away, and selling stuff we no longer use.... I am going to prepare my field for the rain....... (ie: get the house ready for a possible sale...) and if the rain does not come... at least the house will be less cluttered...

** photo from flickr