As I shared with you a week or so ago, my daughter Nikki stood up for what she believed was right and asked her friends to stop telling racist jokes and making fun of other students... One girl had come up to her and apologized and told Nikki that she would try to stop...
Well today, that one girl along with the other young ladies no longer talk to Nikki.. They have decided as junior high girls can do, to ignore Nikki and when she walks by they would giggle as if they just said something funny...about her.. I know Nikki may have not handled it properly.. she is twelve..but that doesn't take away the pain she is going through right now... She is trying to find new friends but her self esteem is very low right now.. she is afraid that if she asks someone if she can eat lunch with them or try to hang out with them they would reject her... One of things I try to explain to Nikki is that life is not like the TV shows she watches.. It's not always about conflicts that are resolved in two hours... Life is pretty basic.
I told her that things will get better... I promised her that.... I remember 7th grade and it is by far the toughest grade in my opinion.... Next year will be her last year of junior high and at that school.. She will start public high after that.. I told her summer vacation is almost here and she's going to have a great time.. A time to get her emotions back on track.. a time to relax... and a time to figure out what she wants in a friend and be the friend she wants to have...
I wish there was something I could do just to fix her sadness... I know it's a big part of growing up and discovering who you are and who your friends are..but my baby is sad and my mommy instincts just want to love on her...
I know things will get better... been there done that...and I look forward to the day when Nikki has made friends that lift her up...rather than drag her down.. but until then... I'll be here...
I'm sorry to hear this. I'm still so proud of her for speaking up and I believe she is better off without those girls, but that doesn't help the pain she is going through now. And I know it's awful for you too. Thankfully summer is coming and as you said - 7th grade is bad. My niece went through this in the 7th grade and is now in 9th. She has good friends now - who treat her better than her old friends ever did. I'll be praying for that for Nikki. How are things going with the neighbor boy?
ReplyDeleteKelly
ReplyDeleteI followed you here from a comment you made on my blog. I also went to your vacation site (cute photos)...didn't get to the other one yet! You are a busy blogger indeed.
FIrst I love the name of this blog. I am my mother too in lots of ways :)
As for friends and friendships, my twin boys are eleven. They are smart, thoughtful and eccentric. It is tough for Jacob to find another boy who thinks Shakespeare is fascinating or for Ben to find a kid his age who is leanring JAVA programming. They get hurt all the time by boys who think they are just plain weird. Nothing (and I mean NOTHING) hurts me more than having my boys be rejected...so I know what you are feeling. Let's pray them through it...
Thank you for bearing your heart here, and thank you for your encouraging note on my blog
Cynthia
I'm so sorry for Nikki. I remember that age and i went through the same thing. I pray that things get better for her.
ReplyDeleteHaving been through similar experiences and having watched my kids stand up for what's right, they don't end up popular. Other kids seem tto have the knack of keeoing their heads down and ignoring principles. I'm proud that mine are prepared to be counte for their beliefs.
ReplyDeleteGirlinaglasshouse: It's a pity you don't live round hear. My fifteen year old loves shakespeare and physics and science and all that!