Tuesday, January 4, 2011

The Obligation Present.. The Obligation Anything...

One of my favorite things about Christmas is giving gifts... I love that much more than receiving... Crazy - I know... There are people in my life that I love and I will spend weeks.. months.. looking for the perfect gift.... There are also people in my life that are not into the gift giving thing and that's okay... Sometimes it's best not to give a gift because the other person may feel obligated to reciprocate and that's a gift that I so do not want..... The OBLIGATION Present.... I hate those!

I have to say - When I receive a present that is obviously an "obligation" gift it does hurt my feelings... I know some might say "suck it up" or "get over it".... Hurt feelings may be viewed as greed but it's not the item I am hurt over but the lack of thought that was put into it... I hope I don't sound like the kid who got clothes for Christmas rather than the IPOD touch with 1000 applications to play with.... Because that is not my intention... The best way I can describe this is that: The obligation gift could be a snow hat and gloves for someone that lives in Hawaii.. There's a gift... yep... But did the giver give any thought? I may be sensitive but I see that as a shout of "I don't care enough about you to think about you... but I have to get you something... so here goes....."

Obligation gifts are much like obligation "Let's get together"... A friend may say let's go to the movies... or lunch.. or whatever.. and you try several times to connect and the friend is not available or "doesn't know if they are available and will get back to you".... You never hear back but you find out that friend went out with someone else that particular time... It's the "I will do something with you ONLY if there is nothing else to do.." People can be careless and in that carelessness they are hurting others and they probably do not have a clue they are doing so...

This year I am going to try to be more aware of what I do and say... The gifts I give.. The casual promises and comments I make... I do not want to make anyone feel they are an Obligation to me...


  1. You make some good points. I need to be careful not to participate in obligation gifts or get togethers.

  2. That's why we cut out the family gift exchange. It was just becoming too much of a chore and not gifting from the heart.

  3. I hear you, I've been on the end of feeling blown off and try not to be that way to others

  4. Oh yes..all too familiar. The older I get the fewer of "those friends" keep around:) Happy New Year!

  5. What about when someone makes plans with you until something better comes along. Yeesh! I've had that happen to me. Whatever happened to integrity?



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