My Hopes and Dreams For Nikki

My oldest daughter will be 15 this week.... She is an amazing kid... I have so many hopes and dreams for her... I want her to be happy... Make good friends... Enjoy her high school and college years... Meet a decent man (way after college) who will love her unconditionally... I want her to know she is worthy of love.. worthy of hope.... worthy of God's love and intentions for her life.... I want her to know and feel great deep love and joy... I want her to have so much more than I did... I think every mom out there - always wants more for their children... We want our kids not to make the same mistakes we did... We want to protect them... We want them to learn from our mistakes... But - I have learned the hard way..... No matter what I say.... No matter how many lectures I give... No matter how many times I discipline... No matter how much "good" advise I give - She will march to her own drummer... She will make her own mistakes..... She will NOT learn from mine..... She isn't me.....

I have to trust that my girl knows right from wrong... I have to trust that she will try to make the right decisions when I am not looking... I have to believe that she will not always bow down to peer pressure... I have to let her go.... I have to accept that God is in control and stop trying to take that control from Him.... I have to let her spread her independent wings... Let her make her own mistakes but be there to comfort her... I will praise her when she succeeds and overcomes life's obstacles.... I will pray for her everyday... I will be here when she needs me... And I will be here even if she doesn't... I'm her mom and there is nothing that would keep me from loving her... Nothing that will stop me from supporting her.... I will always be her biggest fan.... Her strongest supporter.... Her personal prayer warrior...

My Baby Girl Turned 13!

Last Friday my baby entered the land of "Teendom" Yep she is 13 and I have no idea where the time went... Wasn't it yesterday when she came home from the hospital weighing in at 5 lbs 2 oz? I have to say - that it has and is a complete joy to be her mom.. I call her my Sunshine baby because from the time she was a newborn to now - she has always had a happy and joyful disposition... She is my snuggle buddy... She is the kid that always wants to be by my side.. Whether it is a quick trip to the market or sitting on the couch watching our favorite shows together...

For her birthday weekend - We had some fun...

On Friday she missed school and we went to the movies and saw Just Go With It - It was great - we laughed a lot - Preview below


After the movies we went to Chili's for lunch..


After Lunch we headed to the mall so she could get a couple of outfits... Her new favorite store is Wet Seal.. She got two pair of size 0 super skinny low rider jeans (have I ever worn a ZERO?)... This was hard for this mama bear... She is growing up too fast...

We continued to celebrate her birthday on Sunday.. I surprised her and took her to Goofy's Kitchen - this is a restaurant in the Disneyland Hotel where the guests can interact with different Disney characters...






After our dining experience - we headed over to Disneyland.. It was a very cold day and because of the 3-day weekend and the winter break back east - Disneyland was unusually busy... We still went on a few rides.... Indiana Jones, Buzz Lightyear, Jungle Cruise, The Haunted Mansion, The train, It's a Small World and Pirates of the Caribbean... (I enjoy looking for Jack Sparrow) We did stand in line for the Matterhorn only for it to breakdown before we got on... Would have hated being stuck on the ride for over 45 minutes like some were... We were lucky....







The coolest part of the day was that my niece who is a performer at Disneyland and California Adventure was able to get us VIP seats for the Fantasmic Show... We felt like Very Important People... sitting in our chairs in our private seating area... (wish I knew how to work my camera better.... All in All my new teenager had a good celebration... So did I... Happy Birthday - Sunshine Girl!

Memory Lane On My Birthday

Today I turn forty five - it's hard to believe I am this old... My mind tells me I am still young but my body- now that's a different story.... Today - I looked back on my life and I realized I have lived through some very exciting times...

1968 - I remember the election of Richard Nixon - my dad would discuss politics - I was three years old - Nixon took office January 1969.

1977 - I remember the day Elvis Presley died - My mom cried...

1977 - I remember the day my first nephew was born - I remember rushing home to hear the news.

1980 - I remember my first kiss - it was at school behind the gymnasium..

1982 - I remember the day Valley Girl played on KROQ - we all talked like her - gag me with a spoon.

1982 - I remember falling in love for the very first time... and experiencing a few other firsts...

1983 - I remember going to my prom - the Plimsouls played - still love their song - A Million Miles away... Later saw them in the movie Valley Girl - with Nicholas Cage... Nicholas Cage went to elementary school with me... but his last name was Coppola at that time..

1983 - I remember the day I graduated high school - my boyfriend crashed his car and I spent most of the day at the hospital with him... My walking partner was my best friend Mark.. (I miss him)

1984 - I remember my first election - I voted for Ronald Reagan. I was very proud.

1986 - I remember the Space Shuttle Challenger exploding in midair - I was in the shower and I heard it on the radio - could not believe what I was hearing -ran out of the shower and saw the tail end of the explosion on TV and watched the replays over and over again - in a state of shock- our nation mourned that day....

1986 - I remember the day I met my future husband, Dusty. He and his sales rep tried to sell me a copier... My company went with someone else... I went with Dusty - he did not get the sale but he did get the prize...lol

1989 - I remember the day I was married... I remember Dusty left a message on my answering machine -he sang the song "We're going to the Chapel and we're going to get married..."

1992 - I remember when bought our current home - I remember thinking there is no way we could fill up this house - it's huge.. Today - every nook and cranny has something... I love my house.

1994 - I remember the birth of our daughter Krystal Dawn -we had her baptized in the NICU - she died two days later - she was so very tiny - and very beautiful.

1996 -I remember the birth of Nikki - she had a perfect round face, dark hair, and hair on the tips of her ears... She was perfect.

1997 - I remember the day I started my business and I have never looked back...

1998 - I remember the birth of Kara - she was in a hurry to come out into the world - one push and there she was - she was a perfect angel - who squeaked like a little mouse when she slept.

2000 - I remember fearing that my computer would not work properly - it did...

2001 - I remember the first day of kindergarten for Nikki - she was ready to go - I wasn't ready to let her....

2001 - I remember when terrorists planes flew into the World Trade Center - my sister called me from New York and woke me up.... - she said "Our nation is now at war.." I remember the flags flying proudly from every porch on our street... Our nation united during this time... Gas prices dropped below .90 cents...

2002 - I remember Nikki as an orphan in the church Christmas Show.

2003 - I remember the first day of kindergarten for Kara - she wore the same Noah's Ark dress that Nikki had worn... My baby is in school... I cried on my way home... I realized at that moment that time goes by so very fast...

2004 - I remember Kara as a shepherd in the school Christmas play. I remember Nikki placing 2nd in the school spelling bee and competing in the district bee - I remember closing my eyes whenever she spelled a word - sending positive signals.. She did great... She missed the word logging.. spelling it with 1 G and not two... she will forever remember to spell that word...

2005 - I remember our first road trip to Lake Tahoe and San Francisco - The girls loved riding in a canoe with their Uncle Darin. On our drive into the city of San Francisco - we accidentally took a wrong turn and ended up at the front of the Gay parade.. The parade Queen/King? could wear an evening gown better than most.... It was rainbow colored sequins and the crown would blow away Miss Universe's ....It was at least 10 inches high.

2006 - I remember we went to the Bahamas and stayed at The Atlantis - it was an amazing trip.

2007 - Dusty was laid off from his job of 23 years... It was unexpected and life changing....

2008 - I remember I took the girls on a two (2) week road trip - we had an incredible time.. When I came home - my dad was in the hospital - he died four days later...

2008 - I remember voting for McCain - President Obama won... I remember the fear of many...

2009 - I remember listening to the radio while getting my hair cut - there was a new bulletin interruption - Michael Jackson has had a heart attack and he was not breathing... Michael Jackson died the day of my niece's wedding rehearsal dinner..

2009 - I remember my niece Kristin's amazing wedding... No one could be more beautiful and happy.... Nikki and Kara were junior bridesmaids... Nikki caught the bride's bouquet..

2010 - I will remember this year as a difficult year - Dusty was laid off in March - was hired by a great company doing exactly what he loves in September.. I will remember this summer as the summer I never left my office....

I have lived a wonderful life with some sadness tossed in.. - I have witnessed history - the birth of my 3 daughters - the death of a child - the death of a parent - and I have been truly loved....

My Birthday Wish For Kara

Today my youngest celebrated her twelfth birthday. We had a good day - first stop buying 28 donuts to share with her 6th grade class - a surprise lunch, I surprised her at school and took her to Subway - her choice, and tonight we went to TGI Friday's... Saturday is when she will really celebrate when her dad is back in town.... Her present this year is to spend the day with her two best friends - shopping for an outfit from head to toe... that is our present for her this year... Her Wish is my command....

I did not understand love until I became a mother... I have a love that is so incredibly strong - that I would die for her.... A love that is beyond measure.. A love that is unconditional.... A love that is agape.... Being a mother helps me to understand God's love for us....

My Wish For Kara on her 12th Birthday..

I wish you happiness...
I wish you love...
I wish you success in all that you do...
I wish you peace.... comfort... and joy
I wish you self confidence
I wish you never lose your innocence
I wish you never lose your wonder..
I wish you a daughter just like you.....

Kara, you have been a joy to me. You have always been my "Sunshine" girl.... Always happy.. Always quick with the hugs... Always quick with the kisses... Always quick with the laughter... I am proud of you sweetheart - I look forward to watching you become the incredible woman that you are destined to be.....

I love you.... Happy Birthday - Wow, almost a teenager! yikes..

The Scream Heard Around The World

Today is Nikki's 13th birthday and what a day we have had!!! We started our day by going to church.. Nikki's youth pastor took over today's sermon and I had to laugh out loud - the guy is really funny. Having received his Master's in Christian Apologetics - the guy knows his stuff. He talked about doubt. The different kinds of common doubts we have as followers of Christ... I was impressed. (I'll talk all about that in another post)
After church we came home and Dusty hid Nikki's new cell phone -( this is a big deal - for information why this is a big deal read my previous blogs about her and the the cell phone) behind her fish bowl in her room.. Dusty asked her to go up to her room to get a notebook and I called her on her new phone... all of a sudden the screaming starts hers..... and then her little sister (who thinks what's my big sister's is mine). It was pretty cool watching my husband tear up.... I'm guessing I am not the only softy in the family...
After the presents we headed to Johnny Rockets for lunch and a movie. We saw Night At The Museum II (first one way better).. came home - I crashed.... (tired) and Nikki? Texting her friends what else?

I'm Getting My Kid A Cellphone

A while back I told everyone that I refused to get my daughter a cell phone and I stated many reasons. I believed at the time they were valid... I was surprised by the overwhelming response of moms and dads that completely disagreed with me. One dad in particular said this:

My son will be 12 in one week and has had a cell phone since his 11th birthday. He lost one about two months in, but paid the co-pay himself to get another, and has had that for 10 months. He does use it for texting friends, but puts it away when asked and turns it off during meals, movies, homework, etc. Heck, after about a month of having the phone, the novelty of it wore off and we had to remind him to bring it with him when he left the house! One reason my wife and I wanted to get him a phone was for safety purposes. If he gets lost, stranded, abandoned, flat tire on his bike, or otherwise needs us, we are a phone call away. True, we didn’t have cell phones when we were kids and we survived, but I can think of dozens of times I had to search for a payphone (back when there was one on every corner) to call my parents to pick me up, confirm dinner time, etc. This also brings in the convenience factor – being able to coordinate pickup times from friends’ houses, finding each other inside Wal-Mart, the list goes on of the practical, everyday uses we find for his phone. He even uses the camera to take pictures, upload them to animoto.com to make short movies! Then there’s this, Kelly, and I’m delving into an area here that’s very personal to you and none of my business here, so be prepared. Your daughter isn’t asking for a tattoo, multiple piercings, a Mohawk. She just wants a phone. Something all of her friends have, something that isn’t evil, immoral, or otherwise destructive. She’s resenting you more than you know, and will never look back and thank you for not getting her a phone when she asked for one. This problem has become way bigger than it needs to be. She’s being teased about it, and every time she is – she thinks about how you are the cause. That’s a dozen times per week that she is reminded of how she resents you for this decision. My suggestion? Make a few simple rules about phone use with a clear understanding of what the consequences are for breaking these rules, and let her have a phone. Heck, if you still aren’t ready for a full-featured phone, get her Firefly – fireflymobile.com, with a deal that if she can keep that without losing it until Christmas, she can get a regular phone. Then she pays the $50 co-pay if she loses the regular phone.

Gosh, Tom writes well..... no wonder that is his profession. You can find his blog at HiFi Collector

After I sent Tom's comment to my husband Dusty - the first thing Dusty said was "That guy can write - and he has some very valid points.. " Then I started to think of all the benefits to me... Then I started to warm up to the idea... So two weekends ago - I went to T-Mobile bought her a phone with a little typewriter thingy for texting.... I wasn't ready to commit to a contract but I did get her a pay as you go... I thought it would be good for a beginner that never has really talked on the phone before... It was $1.00 a day for unlimited texting and only if she texts - if the phone is not used then no charge and 13 cents or 15 cents a minute for talking - I don't remember.... I put $100 on it and we'll see how long that lasts....

The plan is to hide the phone in her pillow case on her birthday - since she practically lives in there won't be hard to get her in there.... Then I am going to call her..... She is going to freak!!!!! in a good way... Thank you, Tom, Momweb, and Peri for your wisdom and thoughtfulness. You are all a blessing to me and my daughter's new best friends!!!