The Ten Commandments Of A Healthy Relationship

1. I will do my best to be the happiest person I can be.

2. I will be honest in my dealings with my partner.

3. I will keep my agreements.

4. I will have integrity about my actions.

5. I will honor all others I am in a relationship with.

6. I will practice forgiveness for myself and others.

7. I will nurture my spiritual soul and that of others.

8. I will accept others for who they are without judging them or insisting they change to suit me.

9. I will be open to suggestions and change when it's in the best interest of both of us.

10. I will trust in the powers that be that what happens is for the best....

This list was obtained from The Complete Idiot's Guide to A Healthy Relationship - liked so I thought I'd share....

**photo from yahoo

What Are Your Labels???

When I was in high school, designer labels were just hitting the fashion industry.... I remember all those silly commercials on TV - Gloria Vanderbilt with her hair tucked behind her ears selling her designer jeans... Sassoon jeans - they had a catchy song and girls parading around in their tight blue jeans... and who could forget that Brooke Shields Never let anything come between her and her Calvins??? In those days - those were the only labels I knew... Wanted.... Cared about.... I would babysit many weekends to save enough to buy one pair of $50 too tight jeans... I have flashbacks of sucking in my belly and rolling around the floor to zip up those size 2 jeans.... I would have been better off with a few sizes bigger....

Today at the ripe old age of 44 (almost 45) - I realized that I no longer care about labels on the things I wear.. the things I buy... I more often will buy a store brand item because it's less expensive and more times than not works or tastes the same as the pricier competition. Today - I realized that labels are still a big part of who I am.... but a different kind of label... a far more important type of label...

I am...........

A Wife
A Mom
A Daughter
A Sister
A Friend
A Follower of Christ
A Budget maker and keeper
A business owner
A brat
A strong headed and strong willed woman
A lover of the written word
A scardy cat of the dark...
A Conservative voter... thinker... doer...

But I do have to say that of all the labels I wear... I am most proud to be a mom and a wife to my husband of 22 years and a follower of Christ.... These are the labels that define me...

What are Your Labels???

For Fun...... The Eighties... Were Something Else.. Don't You Think....

Running Around Like A Chicken

Growing up my mom used to say - "I've been running around like a chicken with its head cut off" - Growing up on a farm - she had experienced this crazy phenomenon...

Well as you know - I've Become My Mother! and I can honestly say that this week - "I've been running around like a chicken with its head cut off!" Thankfully I do not have the visual to support this thought.... What I can say is that I am going in a thousand different directions - trying to maintain a business, be a mother to two incredibly busy teens, and be a supportive wife... Most weeks... most days are great - I can honestly say I love my life... I am truly blessed... But there are days that I would love to just stick my head in the sand and hide... I'm sure you know the feeling....

This waiting is not bringing out the best in me... The extreme highs and lows of the wait are difficult to say the least... I do trust God to know what's best for me.. best for us as a family. That is not an issue... But my desire for an adventure is... My desire to know things RIGHT NOW is.....

So this week - we have been preparing ourselves for what may come.... Cleaning out rooms... shredding 20 year old tax returns.. (Yep, I don't throw much away), remodeling the kids' bathroom (new tile, sink, and vanity)... While still running a busy business... still obtaining new clients... still helping with homework, still cooking dinner, and still just being a mom... a wife... a woman...

So what am I going to do today? I cooking chicken of course...

It's Impossible To Be a Lousy Husband and A Great Dad

I was listening to a lecture not too long ago about the roles of husbands and wives and one of the comments that stood out like a beacon to me was this - "You'll hear things like he is a lousy husband but he's a great dad - but in reality if he's not a great husband it is impossible for him to be a great dad."

Parents are the main role models for their children and if one or both spouses do not treat each other with love and understanding then how will their children learn? Growing up my dad was a very loud and vocal kind of person - quick to anger - quick to yell - quick to accuse - very slow to acknowledge his own mistakes if he ever did - very slow to apologize if he ever did.... My mom - I believe tried to take care of us kids without gaining the attention or wrath of my dad.... He was a fearsome man...

When my temper flares - I can hear my dad speaking through me and that is something I do not want to hear.... ever.. I do know because of my faith - I am quick to apologize and I am quick to acknowledge my mistakes but I am also very quick to yell.... I have gotten better and I am still working on it.... My husband on the other hand takes after both of his parents - he just shuts down - does not know how to communicate - I can physically see his eyes glaze over whenever a conflict arises... We both inherited not the best characteristics from our parents... and our children have a high risk of inheriting them too....

As a mother I want it all for my kids - the best of everything - spiritually, life fulfilling, and everything that is good... I want my girls to one day marry a man that lifts them up - that treasures them.. that loves them... I want my girls to believe they deserve it and in return I want my girls to know how to love with all their heart. I don't want my girls to yell or shut down- I want them to handle conflict differently - live differently...better... and they learn all that from me and their dad......

Bring Home The Bacon And Frying It Up In A Pan

As a mother, I am on duty twenty-four hours a day seven days a week... I am not allowed to get off my "paying" job and become a slug in front of the television for the next twelve hours.. I don't have someone asking me what I would like for dinner... But I do have the "Mom, my project is due tomorrow - can we run over to Michael's for some glitter?" "Mom, my computer won't turn on. Can you help me?" "Mom, my belly hurts..." "Honey, I'm hungry when is dinner ready?" In addition to the "mom and honey can you help mes" I have laundry to clean, groceries to buy, a house to try to keep clean, and kids and husband to make sure all is good with. Welcome to my life... Welcome to every mother out there's life...
As a kid I remember watching a commercial and this beautiful put together wife and mother is singing a song that she can bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan and never let her husband forget he's the man... do you remember that commercial? I personally believe that commercial is one of the reasons us mothers are in this predicament.... We (I) expect so much from ourselves and if we don't do it ALL than we are a failure as a wife, a business woman, and a mom..... I think being a mom and wife is much tougher today then it was twenty years ago.. Expectations are much higher than it used to be..... I also believe that the higher expectations are one of the major reasons for divorce in today's society.....
So I am here to say... I cannot do it all the time and be perfect.... sometimes (often times) I need help.... and the funny thing is when I ask - I usually get it.. no questions asked... no complaints....
You know the saying "Men are waffles and women are spaghetti"? That means that men have all these boxes and they can think about one thing at a time.... If my husband is watching a ballgame on TV... he won't notice that I'm not cooking dinner but he will notice he is hungry... So if I asked my husband to put the casserole in the oven while I am busy doing something else..... no problem.... I just have to tell/ask him.. Women (spaghetti) can go in one thousand different directions and still be on top of each one of them....(in our mind not necessary in our body) so as women we may need help in accomplishing the one thousand things we have going on....That is why God created the husband and the kids...... Just ask!