Do you ever give yourself unrealistic goals? Higher expectations than you give others? Today, I realized that I do that to myself... I expect myself NEVER to make mistakes and when I do - I get mad... Mad at myself.... I find myself scrambling to make it right.... I don't know what I expect to happen... The world will not end.... My clients will not leave me... neither will my husband... my kids.... my God...
I used to tease my sister that she was a people pleaser and she needed to say "No" on occasion... I did not understand at the time it is a difficult thing to do... Being a business owner or a friend makes it difficult to say "I can't do it right now" or "Wait until I can help you" or the worst thing that I can imagine saying especially to my clients "Can you please do it yourself this time" yikes!!!!... I am trying to teach myself no matter how hard I try - I will never please everyone - all the time.... There will be times that I just mess up and I have to accept that I am not perfect... To expect otherwise is pure arrogance and that is not a trait that I want to continue to have.... Yes, I just called myself arrogant...
One of the most difficult decisions I have made lately was to back out of Women Ministry... I loved serving God and the women of my church in this manner.... But life has taken over... Responsibilities of late have been beyond normal.... beyond extreme... The other day I was working in my office and I had the most extreme stomach burning pain... I believe that I am causing myself to have an ulcer.... I know that they do run in my family - both parents and I think both sisters too..... I realized sitting here in my office this Sunday afternoon - scanning files while I type this post that I am burning the candle at both ends.... Something needs to give...
I am thankful to God for the abundance of work I have received - especially since I am the sole provider at this time - I will always do my best.... I will always give sterling service BUT - I cannot expect myself to do 20 things at one time and do them perfectly... I need to prioritize better and stop worrying that if I don't do something the minute a client, my husband, my friends, or my kids ask me that the world will end.... Because it most likely won't....
