Found - Stolen IPod.. Problem - A Classmate Has It...

Here's the scoop.... A few weeks back my 15 year old daughter Nikki had a tennis match at a rival school.. She was late getting out of her history class and in her haste to catch the bus left her purse on a bench in front of her locker in the girls' locker room... When I went to her match that afternoon - she told me what had happened... I asked her if she called the school and she had not.. She left her cell in her purse and did not think to ask someone to borrow theirs... Any hoo - I immediately called the school - they sent someone to the locker room - they found her purse and I had fifteen minutes to get it... or wait until tomorrow - No problem.. yep - so I jumped in my car - sped down the streets like a mad woman drove across town - made it with two minutes to spare... I got her purse - wallet/check.. cell phone/check... $240 IPod touch/missing!

What was there to do? Nothing really... The school informs the students that they are not responsible for lost or stolen items and that expensive electronics should not be at school... So the stolen IPod was signed off as a lesson learned... Until...

Yesterday morning - Nikki was in her math class and a classmate two (2) desks in front of her whips out an IPod.. An IPod with a very distinct crack across it's top - a missing piece of glass in a certain corner and packing tape taped across and vertical.... (Yes - although it was "newer" Nikki dropped it on our tile floors a time or two too many..) Nikki approached the girl and advised her that the IPod was hers and that it had been stolen... The girl according to Nikki was surprised that the IPod had been stolen.. She told Nikki that someone gave it to her (and to a 15 year old daughter - that seemed logical at the moment...) and the girl told Nikki that she would take it home and delete her pictures and songs and bring it back to school.... This Mama - doesn't believe it.... Sooooo

This morning I went with Nikki to the school supervisor's office and let Nikki explain the situation... Although the classmate said she would bring the IPod back today - We thought it would be wise to go on record with the school just in case there was a problem... You never know what could happen.. The supervisor had Nikki write down everything that happened and what was said... Nikki did not know the girl's name but thanks to the electronic age and the fact that the girl was Asian with her hair dyed bright orange (kind of hard to miss) - the supervisor took Nikki's description and was able to pull up the girl's name and picture with a couple of clicks on the mouse... crazy isn't it?

This is where it was left... If the classmate brings the IPod back - Nikki is to go to the supervisor and show the IPod.. If the classmate does not bring the IPod back then Nikki is to go to the supervisor and show that she had not received it.... Wonder if the IPod is a show or no show...

What Do You Think Will Happen???

Being A Parent Sucks When....

You find out that you kid has found new ways to be sneaky..

You read what your kid says about you to others...

You wake up one day and your sweet girl has turned into Lizzie Borden..

You have lost count on how many times you have taken away her cellphone.. IPod... computer...

You realize that you are yelling and she is yelling....

You realize that Respect is a 7 letter word.... and not an action...

You see your kid's skype status and reads like a rapper lyric - I'm Not a F***'n Ho...

You catch your kid in yet another lie....

You catch yourself counting the days until she's out of the house..

You pray that her grades are good enough so she can go AWAY to college...

You go to bed and can't sleep because you are so worried that you really screwed up as a parent..

Today is a bad day......

Parents Need To Parent

When I pull up to a 7-11 or gas station and see a group of teens hanging out - it really bothers me... I can't help but wonder what are they up to? What can be so exciting about hanging out in front of a convenience store at night? But then I see a teenager about my daughter's age asking a young 20 something boy if he would buy a couple of six packs for him and his friends... The 20 something wants to appear "cool" so he does and the teens jump in their cars and head to the park to get drunk....

The other day I was watching an episode of Gossip Girl from the first season... There was a scene where a father of a freshman (9th grade) girl caught his daughter in another lie -She had told him she was going to choir practice at school but in reality she was going to a high school party - a party where there were kids that she was trying to impress... She had been lying.. stealing - doing whatever it took to be noticed - Her dad told her she could not go because she was grounded from her previous antics and that she had lied again... Her response was you can't stop me and she left... Her father watched with puppy dog eyes as she left their home.. The daughter returned later in the evening -weeping - things did not go as planned and her dad with his big puppy dog eyes told her he was glad she was home and there were no consequences for her behavior...

Many parents wonder why their kids are messed up.. I believe it's because parents stopped parenting.... Parents need to be tough... They need to learn how to say "No"!! There must be boundaries. There must be rules... There must be supervision.. There must be guidance.. There MUST be LOVE.. There MUST be respect - both ways... Yes, we need to allow our kids to spread their wings.. We need to allow them to make their own mistakes... And yes, we need to allow them to grow up.. But allowing my kid to hang out at 7-11 or blatantly go against my authority - well that's not growing up... That's so far from growing up... Some parents may think that I am being unreasonable or too strict... but I have to say this....

One of the best lessons on being a parent is watching the success and failures of other parents.. The parents who were too "religious" and their kids rebel - Or the parents who was too "carefree" and their kids like beer a little too much.. Or the parents who did not have "boundaries" and their kids are blaming the parents for their failures... The life lessons go on and on... It's up to me - find a happy medium and that I believe is one of the hardest things to do...

So I will parent and I will pray that God will give me guidance - the right words and that He will cover my mouth when there are things I want to say but should not... I know I can not parent alone... I need Him... I need my husband... I need my mom... I need my sisters... Because without them - it would be much much harder.....

Courageous - A Must See For Every Dad and Mom

Yesterday I had the privilege of having a mom/daughter day with my mom.... We went to Johnny Rockets for lunch and the movies to watch Courageous.... Watching this movie honestly gave me a kick in the head... I think everyone in the auditorium yesterday definitely got something out of this movie... As we were walking out - I overheard one man telling his fellow movie goers that he believed every dad should watch this movie... I could not agree more... I also believe every parent (mom or dad) could benefit...

The basic premise of this movie is to remind us that our priority should be raising our children. So many of us spend our time hanging out with our friends... working on our careers... relaxing in front of the TV.. when what we should be doing is spending quality time with our children... Loving our spouses... Providing a home... Setting an example of the kind of man or woman they should be... As parents we need to work on our marriage - we need to honor each other... We need to love unconditionally... Always..

Every child needs a dad... Many children are raised without a father figure... It's not to say that single moms are not getting the job done - I believe most are... but that does not take away from the fact that statistically - children who do not have a father figure in their lives end up being a sad statistic... Absent fathers need to step up to the plate - they need to get their head on right.. they need to grow up - take responsibility - and take care of their children!

I hope that Sherwood pictures comes out with a movie for moms... I have enjoyed every movie they have put out so far... Facing the Giants and Fireproof... Below is the trailer for Courageous.. I hope you can take the time to see this movie for yourself.... and bring some tissue and a helmet - You just might be kicked in the head too...

I Planned For The Wedding... But Not The Marriage

In Four months I will be celebrating my 23rd wedding anniversary.... This anniversary will say that I have been married to the same guy for half my life... It's hard to believe that I've been married this long... It's harder to believe that I am not a statistic of divorce.... Especially since I have filed for divorce two times....

You see, I married my husband not because I loved him.... I married him because I was afraid... Not of him.. He is a good man.. I was afraid that I couldn't make it on my own... I did not believe in myself and I knew that D (the husband) loved me... I knew that D would always be successful - he is and has always been so blasted smart... And - another reason I said yes to the ring - Was I wanted a wedding.. Every girl dreams of her wedding... I think I spent more time thinking about the wedding day and not so much on what I wanted from the marriage... D and I never discussed what we wanted in a marriage... and to be honest I never thought about it... but I thought a lot about the wedding.. the color theme... the dress.. the bridesmaids.. the honeymoon...

I remember on our honeymoon - we were walking to a cab and he took my hand in his and at that moment I knew I had made a big mistake... And poor D - I spent almost half my life making him pay for it... One of the main reasons I started blogging a couple of years ago was to hold myself accountable... I had decided to try to love my husband - After 20 years of marriage I thought it was about time... So I started The 40 day Love Dare - I was more surprised than anyone when I found myself falling in love with D for the first time. The book helped me to understand what love is... and when I practice love - I feel it.. I want to show it... share it...

Loving someone can be much like working out at the gym... It can be brutal - often times so tiring you can barely walk that sounded kind of wrong - ha but the end result is that you are healthier.. You have more energy... Your outlook is brighter and your mind is more clear... but once you stop the routine of working out.. the routine of loving your spouse it gets so difficult to start up again and you keep putting it off and putting it off and before you know it you have gained all your weight back.. And you have lost that loving feeling and you could sometimes careless if you ever get it back....

I believe love is more of an action than a feeling... Love is kind.. Love is never rude... Love is accountable... Love wants to understand... Love wants to heal.. Love is a choice...



So where am I today???? I want to love D... and lately it's been really hard... I know I've been extremely unlovable myself... D and I are two very stubborn people and we are not ones to give up without a fight because if we did give up easily - one of those two divorce petitions would have stuck... Love is worth fighting for.. And after almost 23 years of marriage - I'm still not done fighting...