Mr. T-Mobile Man, I Got A Problem

So I am at the T-Mobile store today. Dusty's (the husband) blackberry keeps dying and we needed to find out why... The sales person was a complete moron - I was trying to explain to him what had been happening with the phone when he grabs it out of my hand- takes off the back and says in a "I am God and I know everything voice" it's the battery - it's expanded - you need to buy a new one.... Well, Mr. T-Mobile man - that battery is new like "yesterday".... can I finish explaining to you what is going on? Again the Neanderthal says it's the battery, I'll get you a new one... and goes in the back - puts the new one in and says it's fixed..... Mr. T-Mobile man... will ya listen before ya open your trap... (didn't say that but I really wanted too)... My husband said that after ten minutes of using the phone it just dies with the battery showing fully charged... Well, Butt Breath says, well this new battery has been in for ten minutes and it's still showing charged..... Mr. T-Mobile man - I SAID when he is using the phone not when it's idle... So I call Dusty and tell him what's going on... Dusty said to stay on the phone with him and Lizard Man will see what we're saying..... The Lizard said no less than six times.. it's the battery - I've been doing this for seven years and I know what I'm saying..... Mr. T-Mobile man, how about I stay on this here phone with my husband for a few more minutes and let's just see what happens - I'm just going to walk around in the mall.. Mr. I think I know everything and man do I look stupid - grabs the phone out of my hand (with my husband on the line)... again and says it's still fully charged.. Now I just want to bang my head against the wall.... any wall.. Mr. T-Mobile man did ya miss the part where I said the phone is showing fully charged and still dies??? Get the earwax out of the ears man!!! So I go for a walk - talking to Dusty... after about five minutes... "hello? Are you there?" the phone is truly dead.....
I walk into The T-Mobile store and Mr. "My Poop Doesn't Stink" is standing in front..... I can't tell you how good it felt to show him the dead phone...... SEE, IT'S DEAD.... You know what the Awful Little Man asked me? "What did ya do to it?" Can you see the steam coming out of my ears? My face turning ten shades of magenta.... Mr. T-Mobile man - all I did was talk... check security camera - do whatever it takes.... The phone is defective and I want a replacement, please... You are not going to believe what he does and says next...... He takes the phone - takes the battery out - puts in back in - phone comes back on..... are you ready???? Mr. My Head Is So Far Up Butt says - "oh it works and the battery is fully charged"
Okay, Mr. T-Mobile man - the phone is defective obviously - what can I do to get my husband a phone that actually works? Bird Brain says we need to call a phone technician so that he could ask a bunch of questions - determine "IF" it's broken and "IF" it's broken they will ship out a new one in five days.... so then I ask Demon Man - can I get a loaner for my husband since he will out of town for a week on business..... "Oh, we don't do that" I walk out frustrated....
Get home call the phone technician and yep it's broken..... and here is the kicker.....

IT'S NO LONGER UNDER WARRANTY!! IT EXPIRED AFTER 12 MONTHS - WE HAD THE PHONE FOR 15 MONTHS!!!!

Bombs Are A Flying....Kaboom

I have to confess that I have a potty mouth.... I really don't mean too.... sometimes those F bombs hit and the S bombs usually follows the F bombs... Today, those bombs were just a flying... I have learned that the bombs most often hit from fear or anger or both.... Many times fear will turn into anger...
This is what happened..... My kids go to a very large school... We have a designated meeting place each day. The rule is to always meet up with me first to let me know if they need to do something and then I'll wait or come back at a determined time. Their school is a private commute school - so walking home is not an option.... My oldest gets out at 2:45 and the youngest gets out at 3:00. We always meet no later than 3:05-3:10... Today the clock struck 3:25 and my youngest (more responsible one) did not show up.... I went to her class and her teacher informed me she was released before 3:00.... I could actually feel my pulse starting to go crazy.... mostly because this is the kid that has gone through periods of fainting... and I'm picturing her lying somewhere in a bathroom stall having hit her head on the toilet... I know many of you reading this are thinking "get a grip" but you know what? It is what it is.....
After looking in the bathrooms and not finding her - I head back to our meeting place and see her coming towards me.... I asked her what she had been doing....(not in the most mature and quiet voice - I must confess) she said that she went looking for her friend's mom to see if her friend could come home with us.... 1 2 3... Her friend must have seen the look on my face because she got the heck out of there... I asked my daughter what the rule was... and she repeated it.. I told her I was really mad.... and her little sarcastic voice in a whisper I could hear says "Of course..." that just made my blood boil even more.....
So we are driving home and I realize my gas light is on so I pull over to the gas station to fill up... Then my oldest starts on me about something that I have said no to about a billion times..... and normally I would just say no but not this time... Oh no...not this time The F bomb and the S bomb just went KABOOM.... and you know what my oldest said? "Mom, please don't say those words to me." In a normal frame of mind - I would have been ashamed of myself.. but I was on a rampage.. I was out of control.... I was seeing red...
The car became very quiet.... My daughter than got brave enough to say the following: "Mom, remember when I told you that I no longer want to cuss? I have been really good about not saying bad words... I used to say the F word a lot because I hear the word from you..." Of course that made me mad.. and I told her it's not my fault that she said bad words... ( I knew as I was saying this I was wrong...) and she said this..."Mom, you yourself told me that we became what we hang out with... I live with you and I was becoming you...."
When did my child became the parent? She was so right...... When we came home and I had a chance to catch my breath and grow up..... I told her I was sorry...and I am being really nice.... sometimes us moms can be the child.....shame on me today... Lord, help me to glorify You tomorrow..

Bring Home The Bacon And Frying It Up In A Pan

As a mother, I am on duty twenty-four hours a day seven days a week... I am not allowed to get off my "paying" job and become a slug in front of the television for the next twelve hours.. I don't have someone asking me what I would like for dinner... But I do have the "Mom, my project is due tomorrow - can we run over to Michael's for some glitter?" "Mom, my computer won't turn on. Can you help me?" "Mom, my belly hurts..." "Honey, I'm hungry when is dinner ready?" In addition to the "mom and honey can you help mes" I have laundry to clean, groceries to buy, a house to try to keep clean, and kids and husband to make sure all is good with. Welcome to my life... Welcome to every mother out there's life...
As a kid I remember watching a commercial and this beautiful put together wife and mother is singing a song that she can bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan and never let her husband forget he's the man... do you remember that commercial? I personally believe that commercial is one of the reasons us mothers are in this predicament.... We (I) expect so much from ourselves and if we don't do it ALL than we are a failure as a wife, a business woman, and a mom..... I think being a mom and wife is much tougher today then it was twenty years ago.. Expectations are much higher than it used to be..... I also believe that the higher expectations are one of the major reasons for divorce in today's society.....
So I am here to say... I cannot do it all the time and be perfect.... sometimes (often times) I need help.... and the funny thing is when I ask - I usually get it.. no questions asked... no complaints....
You know the saying "Men are waffles and women are spaghetti"? That means that men have all these boxes and they can think about one thing at a time.... If my husband is watching a ballgame on TV... he won't notice that I'm not cooking dinner but he will notice he is hungry... So if I asked my husband to put the casserole in the oven while I am busy doing something else..... no problem.... I just have to tell/ask him.. Women (spaghetti) can go in one thousand different directions and still be on top of each one of them....(in our mind not necessary in our body) so as women we may need help in accomplishing the one thousand things we have going on....That is why God created the husband and the kids...... Just ask!

Top Six Ways To Kill Piper....

Watching this video this morning really made me sick... This cartoon was made by a group of 11 and 12 year olds. The video is showing several ways to kill a young sixth grade classmate. Why are the parents not getting involved in their own child's life.. When the mother of the victim called one of the parents he said he was too busy to talk because he was making dinner....this parent (me)would have been knocking on that parents' door... I might have even considered getting the police involved... Am I overreacting? maybe... but maybe if Eric Harris and Dylan Klebod's parents overreacted - Columbine may have never happened.

Kids need boundaries... good healthy boundaries... If I think my kid is up to something you better bet, I would go through their rooms, their computer, their lockers, and whatever I might need... Privacy is a privileged... to be earned. I don't go through my kids' rooms because I do not believe there is anything wrong going on... there hasn't been anything that would raise a red flag. If a parent called me and said my daughter made a "How to kill someone video" you bet I would be exploring and my kid would be disciplined...and not just a slap on the hand... I'm thinking community service, a major Public apology... whatever it would take to snap my kid into shape.

It is so upsetting to me that parents and the school could be so blase about a video that could be preserved as a death threat.... What do you think?

Embedded video from CNN Video

Am I Really Clueless....

I am beginning to believe that my kids have started to humor me.... humor me in the same way I used to humor my mom when I was a teenager.. telling her what she wants to hear and doing what I want... I believed at the ripe old age of 11 12, and 13 that I knew more than she did...I remember talking with friends as a kid and all of us complaining about how old fashioned and dumb our parents were and that we could get away with anything...everything....
I am beginning to understand that my mom knew most of what was going on... she just chose her battles... All these years - I thought I had pulled the wool over her eyes and now that I am the mother of daughters (just like me) mom and I have had some pretty good conversations... about what she knew and what did not know... Obviously, I am not going to share everything... a girl has to have some secrets...and for my friends that know them...shhh - I don't want to give my kids any ideas...
I was a pretty adventurous kid (that's putting it very mildly) and maybe because of the things I did - I'm more protective than I should be... or maybe I know how a young teen's mind works... especially a boy crazy teen...as my mom used to say to me - "You are learning from my mistakes"...
So I am thinking that Nikki and Kara are thinking that they got me...that I am clueless...But you know what? Like my mom before me, I too am choosing my battles.. - Yes, I've become my mother..

It's Not My Style....

I just have to tell you, I am so tired of the "Well EVERYONE does it or has it"... or "My teacher said I have to have it".... I am tired of being told I'm wrong by a twelve year old.... being told that I don't have a clue... and when I don't bow down to my child's infinite wisdom... I get the arms straight down on each side - butt in the air, and a "Fine" as she marches to her room.... If I talked to my parents the way my kid talks to me.. I would not be sitting here writing this post...
The end of the school year projects are coming to close and my kid is majorly stressed out and has no where she can release her aggravation except by sassing us... This coming Wednesday, she has to give a ten slide power point presentation in her computer class.. supposedly the teacher told the kids to dress professionally. I'm thinking the teacher said the kids could do that if they wanted too... (uniforms are required at the school and free dress would not be allowed - except for the presentation).
I have learned that what my child says is a must at school is often times only a want.... so today when she said that I had to go out and buy her a business suit for her fictional business presentation at school - I told her to find something in her own closet... now the drama starts.... I don't have anything... Four outfits automatically come to my mind.. In a huff she brings down ALL of her dresses and right away my husband and I saw two perfect outfits... Nikki then proceeds to whine about how the dresses are not professional... really made me laugh due to the fact that my husband is a very professional businessman...we tried to reason with this twelve year old... letting her know that the dress was very professional and very nice... "Well it is too small" she says... "Show me." I say.... she comes down stairs and looks cute and I might add... very professional for a twelve year old...and it fit perfectly... Then I get "It's not my style".... Lord save me from soon to be teenagers....please.
So I styled her hair and taadaah now that's professional... What do you think?? Ignore the scowls if you please.....after all she is a teen...

Why? Because I Said So!

Today was laundry day because my sweet loving husband threw all the clothes over the banister and onto the family room floor below... I got up this morning - came down stairs to a pile of clothes higher than my 5'2 height... Nothing was separated... it was just there and Dusty (the guilty party) just sitting on the couch with his paper and coffee.... What did he think it would float on over to the washing machine all by itself.....? So before my morning cup of tea... I started separating - not my ideas of Saturday morning fun I tell ya... soon after I put the first load of wash in.. he took off for the swap meet and lunch with the girls.. In addition to the laundry - I had a few hours of work to catch up on - and started cooking for my Famous Chicken and Cream Cheese Enchiladas (look for the recipe on kelly"s ideas my other blog)
When the family came home, I had already put in about two hours of work so I asked the kids to fold the laundry and put it away...." Why???? I'm tired.." they chant as I look at the chocolate ice cream still around their mouths still moist from a recent venture to Rite Aid..... because I said so.... and I went back to the one thousand other things a mom has to do... I hear the kids laughing and I liked the sound ...
I recently told you all about Charlie the Pooping dog - who loves to be watched doing the pooping deed... anyhoo - she's been watched quite a bit lately and me being the Queen of the "If I have to pick it up - I'll gag" asked one of the girls to pick it up... "Why? I did it last time.." my youngest whines..... Because I said so.... I see my daughter get the plastic bags and calls the dog so she can watch - "what is with the watching the dog poop?" and that makes me happy... the clean up part not the watching part...
I asked Nikki my eldest to set the table for dinner and she asks why?? again I answer because I said so..... and she looks at me strangely and said,"Mom, I said I'll wipe the table first - I have glitter on it" I have to laugh because I obviously wasn't listening to what she was saying.... I was expecting the "Why?" now that makes me wonder if I heard them correctly at all today...hmmm

No Fun Long Weekend For My Kids....

When I was in high school I wrote a story about my messy room.. Declaring my room to be a scientific experiment - finding hidden Easter eggs - 3 years later and discovering why my room always smelled a little rotten.... placing a cauliflower floret on my dresser and discovering how quickly it can petrify.... the discovery of science was never ending in my bedroom in my teen years.. God bless my mother for not going insane.... or did she? My mother always said "I hope you have a child just like you"... well mom - I got two.. at least in the really messy bedroom stage..
When I picked up the kids from school and was taking them to their tennis lessons I told them that during this Memorial Day weekend - they are not allowed to watch TV, play with their game boys, swim, talk on the phone, have friends over, or anything else that may be fun until.....THEY CLEAN THEIR BEDROOMS AND THEIR BATHROOM... my dear mom may have been a saint for not throwing a hissy fit when my room was that bad.... but I am not a saint under any definition of the word... Their rooms are driving me INSANE......
So from looking at the pictures above... what do you thinking my kids are doing over the long holiday?....

The Loss Of A Hard Drive

This morning, I woke up... Made lunches for the kids... made breakfast and went into my office and turned my computer on and left the room.. I took the kids to school.... came home... walked into my office.. and came face to monitor with a blue screen..... nothing more. I immediately called HP for help.. was connected to someone in India.. I have a very hard time understanding people with accents and my frustration level started to increase..
The customer service rep tried to walk me through the steps. Turn the computer off and then on and tap f10 tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap ..and nothing... he then proceeds to tell me to unplug everything.. find a screw driver and open the unit.... are you kidding me? So I open the computer.. and then he wants me to start pulling green thingys out of the computer ( I later found out they were memory cards..) All the components in the computer were so close together that I found it impossible to do.... It reminded me of a doctor trying to direct a person to perform brain surgery over the phone.. no way can do....
I jumped in the car and headed for Fry's ... thank goodness for three year extended warranties.. After a few minutes/hours of looking at my computer - my lifeline.. my every client I ever had is in there.... every file.. every picture - the tech looks at me and says he's sorry.... it's dead... My hard drive.. is gone... at that moment I felt like a dead woman walking..... I'm numb... I have no idea how I made it home.... I was in a state of shock.. disbelief...horror...
Went I got back home, I proceeded to hook up my "old" computer until my "dead" computer is brought back to life minus all my stuff..... Thankfully my "old" computer is a good one and has enough memory to hold all my programs.. I proceeded to see what I could retrieve off of my old Internet files... very little. I then looked in my client files and a funny thing occurred to me.. I had printed up almost everything involved in my business.... yes there are a few things that I have to retype into the computer but I can handle that... and my pictures that I thought I had lost forever.... I had stored in an online storage and they are safe....
Sitting here writing this I realize how lucky I really am... my clients were understanding today.. Yesterday I had caught up on everything that was majorly important.. My children are playing and laughing in the pool - they are here with me and are in good health and spirits.. So today was a bump in the road...not even a bump really.... and to top things off - Dusty (my husband) was on a business trip and heard my distress earlier today and was able to finish things a day earlier and come home....
I am a very lucky woman...with a dead hard drive....

Quitters Never Become Winners

I remember when Nikki was in the third grade and Art Masters came to her school. Her class would learn about a famous artist and then learn a technique that the artist would use in their craft... Nikki's teacher would send me a note almost each month during Art Masters and it would read something like this: "I wanted to let you know that Nikki was having a difficult time today during Art Masters. She became very unhappy with her project and tore it up and wanted to try again...as I told Nikki everyone only gets one try... can you please tell Nikki not to be so hard on herself.. I try... but she does not listen to me. Thank you, Mrs. Brown"
Well Nikki is still the kid who expects to be perfect without years of practice.. She is very impatient. I can't count how many times - I hear her up in room growling in frustration. Something she was doing was not meeting her high expectations of herself.. I have learned to ignore it.... additional drama that I so don't need...
She has tried gymnastics, kickboxing, swimming and tennis... She gave up on gymnastics because her younger sister turned out to be a natural and proceeded to a high level very quickly.. so Nikki turned to kickboxing (she assured me this is what she wanted) I told her she had to give it at least a year - Three hundred and sixty five days later - she quit.. why? Because it was hard and she was "out of shape"... So she tried swimming- convinced that because she loves swimming in our pool that the swim team would be a perfect fit.. WRONG - after three months - she cried to get off the team - it was too hard.... then Nikki was convinced that she was the next world's best tennis player... so again - we gave her the chance... After she played for about a year - her little sister joined... Gymnastic practices exceeding twenty hours a week took its toll on Kara (my youngest) and our family... that will be a different story.. any hoo.. tennis has brought them together and they have enjoyed it for three years..... until..... today..
Today, Nikki came up to me and said she wanted to quit tennis.... Why I asked.... "It's too hard and I'm not any good!" (she's in the highest level for her age - she is good and she loves it) Knowing my kid as well as I do.... I said" No..." "WWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHYYYYY?" she whined. I told her that she has to stop giving up on things because she may have had a bad day. It takes practice and commitment to be good at things and then I used the phrase we have all heard at some point in our lives..."Quitters Never Become Winners and Winners Never Quit" and Nikki you will be a winner and you will be good... better than good.. I am not going to let you quit...
As parents we need to know when it is the right time to allow our kids to quit something and when not too. Staying involved in our children's lives gives us the knowledge to know what is best for them....I know Nikki will be happy I did not let her quit... because I know she loves it..**note - Nikki just came into my office and said she really does love tennis and will practice her strokes in the mirror like her coach suggested.... Let's see what tomorrow brings... shall we..?

Socks Are Worth More Than Gold

Today my daughter worked in a homeless shelter in a poor neighborhood in San Diego. She was told to bring an empty backpack with her.... she did not know why. When she got to the meeting location before her journey, she was told to fill her backpack up with supplies. Toothbrushes, toothpaste, brushes, combs, body wash, shampoo, and socks.... lots and lots of socks.
The group of young teenagers and youth leaders arrived at a homeless motel.. Then the kids and leaders in groups of five or six took to the streets with their supplies and the Gospel of John... My young daughter who enjoys all the comforts of a upper middle class family in America had her eyes opened today..... She met many people down on their luck... many people that were happy if they were lucky enough to have a warm bed for the night.... She heard stories of death and desperation... She met people with mental illnesses and people who just wanted to be treated like they were human....and not the animals that most people saw.... today these people saw a glimpse of God's love through my twelve year old daughter's heart....
I picked her up tonight and she had a glow...All of a sudden she starts confessing her "sins" to me...She said she wanted to let me know that she has said very bad words in the past... (as if I did not know - I was twelve once too) and from this day forward she will no longer say the bad words... She said that she had to tell me.. to come clean...
She said she felt good passing out the supplies to the people on the streets... she said the hottest thing was the socks...everyone asked for socks.. "One man asked for two pairs so he could give one to his friend - but I think he just wanted another pair for himself and that's okay" my wise daughter said tonight... "Mom, you know on the streets.... socks are worth more than gold..."
So God took care of my little girl today..... Kind of funny - I was so nervous to send her but all day I just felt a sense of calm....no fear.. and today it was crazy non-stop business day... I'm thinking that God just brought up the calm spirit and the hectic day to take my worries away....

Trusting God With My Child

My daughter is going on her first missions trip tomorrow to work in a homeless family shelter .. I think it is great for children to experience what is going on in our world today so that they can develop a passion for others and a need inside themselves to help make the world a better place. As a mother, I am very proud of Nikki but I also am fearful. Fearful of letting her go... I need to trust God more. I need to trust Him to watch over her.. I need to allow Nikki to prove herself capable of being the young lady that I know her to be..
As parents, it is hard at times to trust God. To acknowledge that He is in control.. I keep wanting to control everything and I know that is not what God wants and I know that is not what I should be doing. I need to trust the fact that I have helped to raise Nikki to be a smart and thoughtful young lady.. I need to trust the youth staff that is running this trip.. I need to let go of my worries and realize I have prepared my daughter the best I could and give her to God.. into His trusting hands..

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths....

Now I have to put action to scripture.... and do that trusting!!!! "Lord, please help me to trust you with all my heart and to fully understand that You and only You are ALWAYS in control.. amen."

Charlie - The Pooping Dog

We have a King Charles Cavalier dog. The dog I have always wanted. She is beautiful. She is loving.... doesn't have a mean bone in her body.... She is definitely a lap dog.... my only complaint is.... she is an inappropriate pooping dog.... She wants to be watched..... it's driving me crazy...
We have a pool in our backyard and there is no grass. We have trained her to do her duty on a 4 x 6 piece of AstroTurf on the side of the house...we didn't want doodoo droppings around the pool.. any hoo.... the dog can do her business on command...great right? Not so much anymore..... If I don't "command' her.. she'll wait until she can't hold it any longer and she'll just drop it where she happens to be....on my new Oriental rug... the family room floor... and once on the couch....can you say gag reflex....
So everyday in the morning...in the afternoon... and in the evening - I have to say in my "happy" voice..."let's go poop, Charlie" and she will get all excited and run not walk to her piece of "grass" and go....if I so happen to walk away while she's doing her thing..she'll follow me and finish at my feet....I'm not kidding ya..
The frustrating thing.... is she'll only go for me.... Now I ask you... too much information? Happy Sunday....

The Gout Is Back...Again

Poor poor Dusty... He is suffering his fourth gout flare up in two months.. and I am really getting tired of looking at his Big toe!! Of course, I feel sympathy and doing all I can to ease the pain...but the guy just does not listen.. He still golfs without a cart.. He still climbs the rocks in the backyard trimming his precious palms... He needs to rest that foot when it's flaring.... He's like a cat on a hot tin roof... jump up here.. hobble over there...jump on one foot up the stairs.. limp through the backyard..."look at my toe - do ya see anything?"...Welcome to my life..

We've been to the doctors twice. The first time he got two shots in his bum and it seemed to help right away... and a little over a week later (after golfing without a cart) he's in pain once again...and we make the pilgrimage to Urgent Care.. where this time they won't give the most wanted shot... they give him more pills..

Gout is an inflammatory joint disease that causes acute pain and swelling, usually developing after a number of years of buildup of uric acid crystals in the joints and surrounding tissue. Gout usually affects one of the big toes but can attack any joint.. In the past, gout was thought to be due to drinking too much alcohol and eating too many rich foods. Although eating certain foods and drinking alcohol may trigger a rise in the level of uric acid in the body, these habits may not by themselves cause gout. Gout is most often caused by an overproduction of uric acid (due to metabolism problems) or decreased elimination of uric acid by the kidneys.

His diet has not been high in the "no no" foods.. He has been making it a point to stay away from foods high in purines. His water intake has also increased. I'm thinking that due to the fact he has always tested high in uric acid is the reason he is suffering so much lately.. He is getting older... I am officially married to an old man...(don't tell him I said that) it's taking his body a while longer to get the gout out.... So after another round of golf - (without the cart) his poor toe is on display for all to see once again...lucky me and lucky you....

No One Likes Me

As I shared with you a week or so ago, my daughter Nikki stood up for what she believed was right and asked her friends to stop telling racist jokes and making fun of other students... One girl had come up to her and apologized and told Nikki that she would try to stop...
Well today, that one girl along with the other young ladies no longer talk to Nikki.. They have decided as junior high girls can do, to ignore Nikki and when she walks by they would giggle as if they just said something funny...about her.. I know Nikki may have not handled it properly.. she is twelve..but that doesn't take away the pain she is going through right now... She is trying to find new friends but her self esteem is very low right now.. she is afraid that if she asks someone if she can eat lunch with them or try to hang out with them they would reject her... One of things I try to explain to Nikki is that life is not like the TV shows she watches.. It's not always about conflicts that are resolved in two hours... Life is pretty basic.
I told her that things will get better... I promised her that.... I remember 7th grade and it is by far the toughest grade in my opinion.... Next year will be her last year of junior high and at that school.. She will start public high after that.. I told her summer vacation is almost here and she's going to have a great time.. A time to get her emotions back on track.. a time to relax... and a time to figure out what she wants in a friend and be the friend she wants to have...
I wish there was something I could do just to fix her sadness... I know it's a big part of growing up and discovering who you are and who your friends are..but my baby is sad and my mommy instincts just want to love on her...
I know things will get better... been there done that...and I look forward to the day when Nikki has made friends that lift her up...rather than drag her down.. but until then... I'll be here...

Okay, I'm A Little Distracted

I do not do well with distractions... When I am working in my office and one of the kids walks in to ask me a question or come in for some attention.... I can get angry... Angry because I lost my focus on what I was doing... angry that I can't concentrate on "my" stuff.. I get angry in my selfishness...... My kids need my focus on them too... they need me to say..."Wow great job" or "I know, honey" or "ouch, that looks like it hurts"....but sometimes my obsessive compulsive behavior gets in the way of what is truly important.... my children... my husband.... my family.. I have been known to let my business just take over and before we had kids.... that was somewhat okay because Dusty and I were both working hard to gain our dreams of a large home that we can fill with our children... So looking on what we were striving for - I can check - got the house... and check we have a family.... Now is the time to spend time with them...to appreciate what Dusty and I always wanted....children.. the loves of our lives..
Jesus is a good teacher in dealing with distractions. Matthew 19:13-15 Some children were brought to Jesus so he could lay his hands on them and pray for them. The disciples told them not to bother him. But Jesus said, "Let the children come to me. Don't stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these." And he put his hands on their heads and blessed them before he left... Distractions happened all the time in Jesus' ministry - the difference is the way he handled distractions.. He saw distractions as opportunities - to love.. to show others that they are worthy of His attention...
My kids... my husband... are worthy of ALL my attention.. and I need to start letting the distractions become an opportunity to show them just how much I love them and appreciate them...

The Hair Flip... already?

I had a major flashback tonight....I have to laugh out loud...
As many of you know, I run my business from my home office... and today was by the far the busiest most stressful day.....ever... After the kids got home from school - I told them I still had a few hours of work and asked them to do their homework and not disturb me unless it was very important..... well, they were great.. so I decided to take them to Round Table Pizza's family night all you can eat buffet...(Dad's on a business trip - I don't usually cook). I told them we'd go in about 30 minutes....
About a half hour later, I called the girls downstairs... and boy were they "dolled" up... Nikki my 7th grader - changed her clothes into her cutest skinny jeans and white blouse and of course her makeup was perfect... along with her hair... Kara my 5th grader had tried to sneak in a little bit of makeup and her cutest clothes... (I had to smile and pretended not to see the makeup..) So we head over to the pizza joint.....
We get there and not too many people are there...the way I like it... all of a sudden here comes a little league or junior high baseball team.... I could see my girls' eyes bug out from the corner of my eye... oh boy... What was really funny to watch was the boys for no reason at all come walking by our table and pretend to be lost......I am not ready for this... all of a sudden I see Nikki do the hair flip..... I can't believe she already knows that trick.... and Kara pretended to show so much interest in the video motorcycle game... when only fifteen minutes before she said it looked dumb... I gave the girls some change to play games or whatever and to watch them trot around the place with their big laughs and hair flipping reminded me of a mating dance.... When did they grow up and learn the art of flirting??? I am floored.
Then I had a major flashback of me and my friend Lisa when we were in the 8th grade.. We went to Lisa's dad's softball game and we did our make up and we put on our nicest clothes and we were being silly in front of the boys and the hair flipping.... and I had to laugh out loud..... I have become the mother of .........me......I'm doomed....

Because I Want One!

Next week my daughter is going on a missions trip to work in a homeless shelter. She is very excited and nervous about this trip... she will be working in the kitchen for the day and will come home later in the evening... I love the fact that my kid has a heart for service...She is always helping the elderly with their groceries at the store, up the stairs at church or whenever she runs across someone in need... she also loves working in the daycare at our church.. She is however, not very charitable towards her younger sister.... but that's a different blog...
I received a letter from the director of this trip and he told us to be sure and have our kids bring their cellphones because they did not know what time they will be arriving back at the church.. That really got my goat!!! I don't believe children should have cellphones.....and my kid is cellphone deprived.... I called the director and told him she did not have a cellphone and could she use the office phone to call me... He said the office is closed..he said she could use a friend's cell to call me but they like the kids to have their own... why, I ask... for safety purposes.. Is this missions trip unsafe? I ask... Well no he says... So why does my kid need a cell phone for safety purposes... He stopped and said you know what I don't know....(he laughed) she could use my cell if she needs too...
When I was a kid, I never had a cellphone..they did not exist and I was able to go many places and experience many different things...without a cellphone.. Why are today's children so attached to their cellphones? Excuse my French but it just so Stupid!!!! Everyday when I pick up my kids from school... I see dozens and dozens of kids flip out their phones and start texting, calling, and sharing what they see on their phones.... Can't they wait till they get home? The funny thing is most of them are texting/ calling each other from about 20 yards away!
Today on the way home from school - Nikki (my 7th grader) was trying to explain to me that she felt like a baby because ALL of her friends had cellphones....and she just needs one... She said it's kinda like when she got her locker at the beginning of the year.. and how she felt so grown up.. She thinks that if she gets a cellphone - she'll feel grown up... No one ever calls her at home so why do you want a cellphone I asked her...You know what her answer was.....They'll call if I have a cellphone... and because I want one......

My reasons for Just Say No To The Cellphones...

Many kids are texting in class and the teacher is oblivious.. Grades are dropping
Families are having less time together because kids are too busy texting their friends
Kids lose their cells ALL the TIME.. (in one outing I took 13 girls and 4 of them lost their cells)
Homework is not getting done...
Kids are getting bullied more often..
Opens the doors for the kids to sneak behind their parents' back much more easily.
Texting in the movies drives me INSANE!!!!
Kids are not learning patience... they want everything now...

I can understand letting a child use a cellphone if they have game practice and need to be picked up and phones are not available.... there are exceptions to a child using a cellphone but I don't believe they should own one..... But that's just me..... What do you think?

Open My Eyes...And Let Me See....

Today in church a friend of mine sat next to me...she looked so sad... She did not come to Sunday school and I called her up and told her I missed her and to get her bottom to class..... of course I was kidding about the get your bottom part....and later she surprised me in Church.... I have not seen this incredibly sweet lady in over a month....I was getting concerned... She had been growing in her faith and is getting very close (I Believe) to accepting Jesus as her personal Savior... In addition to being in my Sunday school class with her husband - she had been going to our woman's Bible study on Sunday nights.. She has became so involved in our church she started a sewing group geared towards making baby preemie clothes and lovey dolls.... so when she all together stopped coming, I knew something is up...
I know from personal experience that when you start coming closer to Christ - Satan starts trying to put up the road blocks... interfering in your marriage, your employment, your friends, and just about anything that can pull you down... I truly believe my friend is going through some major spiritual warfare....
I was very happy to see many of the other women in our congregation step up to her. First time was at prayer time....a woman's leader in our church came over and asked if she could pray with us.... and after Church I saw that a few other ladies came to visit her... She needs to know that she is loved for who she is.... missed when she is gone....and lifted up in prayer when she needs it. She needs to know we are here....for her...
A few times she has called me to get together.... for a coffee, for lunch, and just to come over and hang out.... each time I had to refuse because I was very busy working and could not get away.... but you know what...? Today I realized that I have to get away at times... I know now she was reaching out to me.... She knows that she and I have a good connection...and she knows that I love her...but I believe she needed me and I did not see..... or listen....
I learned a lesson today....I need to stop thinking about my wants.. my needs... at all times.... I need to be the person God is calling me to be..... I told her I want to get together with her this week... she said that would be great....
Today is Mother's Day and I learned that her mother had passed away a couple of years ago and today was hard... There are many things that have gotten difficult in her life.. she has shared a few things...and I know with the support of her husband, her sisters in Christ, and Christ Himself she can overcome them..... she just needs to trust in Him...with the help of a few friends..
The Lord is my strength and my shield; My heart trusted in Him, and I am helped; Therefore my heart greatly rejoices, And with my song I will praise Him" (Psalm 28:7).

There IS No Space On MySpace For My Kid

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Lori Drew a mother of a thirteen year old girl created a MySpace profile in the name of Josh Evans. Her reason for this was to flirt with and destroy an ex-friend of her daughter's.. another thirteen girl named Megan Meier. This mother would purposely go on line pretending to be a boy named Josh and actively flirt with Megan... Megan started falling for "him". After several weeks of flirting, Josh aka Lori Drew sent Megan a message that said "You're a shitty person, and the world would be a better place without you in it" A mother said this!!!! to a thirteen year old girl!!!!! A short time after Megan received this MySpace message - she hung herself in her bedroom.. and died...

Is this awful, horrible, and disgusting mother a murderer? I don't know.... Should she serve jail time for her unbelievable acts of cruelty? Again I don't know.... I do think she needs to pay for her actions through the proper legal channels but I don't know what that would be...

This is a Prime example for why I am not allowing my kids to have a MySpace page.... This "friendship network" can be dangerous.. Other reasons I Just Say No are:

There is no censorship of any kind - the language on the pages I have seen use more dirty words in one sentence than most people use in a lifetime... the pictures can be as graphic as pornography and the subjects that appear on many of the pages are not subjects I want my kids to partake in... I know I can't control everything my kids see... I am not naive...but I can control their computer time and sites....
Kids can post a lot of personal information about themselves on MySpace and that could be opening the door for child predators or cyberstalkers..... There are many sad cases that have been reported... think about all the cases that have not been report....
Kids can be mean - some think it's funny to post horrible things about others. Or in the case of this horrible mother, Lori Drew who deliberately set out to hurt a child....many grown ups are worse than the kids...

Call me old fashioned.... but I would prefer my kids to go outside and play..... or read a book.... They can even play on their computer....that's not connected to the Internet.. Just do something that they can be productive, educational, and fun.... They don't need to post sexy pictures of themselves on MySpace or look at someone elses..... I'm going to to try to keep my kids' innocence for as long as I can...

Being A Mom Is Hard

One of the most difficult things about being a mom is that we are NEVER off duty!!!! I have a home office where I own a contract loan processing business and when times are busy in the mortgage industry things are really busy.. no middle ground...and when it's slow... it's S L O W.
Currently I am putting in fourteen hour days just in my business. There are many benefits to working at home....but today I am having a hard time thinking of any.... oh yeah, I get to be there when my kids get home from school... I get to leave my office and pick up the kids, take them home or to their tennis lessons then I am back to work..... I have to stop work again... to start dinner and while it's cooking - I'm back to work.... or helping kids with homework... After dinner - the kids will clear the table and put dishes in the dishwasher... and you guessed it - I go to the office. Mind you it's not always like this but in the times of Feast or Famine (in this economy), I am going to work it.
My dear husband arrives home (if he's in town) around 6:00 PM.. He changes his clothes and turns the TV on to whatever sporting event he can find... Yeah - Baseball...again.. NOT..... Asks when dinner is ready... and turns into a Zombie TV man...... he is oblivious to what is going around him....the kids fighting, the dog barking, the oven timer blaring.......
Today, I am frustrated.... can ya tell? Dusty and I were talking as spouses often do and he was inquiring to the reasoning behind having a housekeeper clean the house today - since I work from home... He suggested that maybe I should use better time management... coming from the man that takes Five steps to eat a taco..... I asked him calming - where he thinks I could improve.... Well, he says.... (I can feel my temperature rising) you can clean the kitchen before you start your work day.... and while you are in between calls you can do the laundry... and pick up the rest of the house when you're not busy......I just want to scream....
Let's see.. Today, I woke up at 6:30 AM, took a quick shower, made the kids breakfast and lunch, drove them to school, came home and there were two messages from clients.. not sure where I have time "before work" to clean the kitchen... .. I could rant some more.. but I just got to stop...... That's my own version of my pity party for the day.....
A mom's job is hard.. not to say the dad's job isn't - it is.. I'm thankful that Dusty can provide a wonderful home for us.. I know he hates traveling all the time and I know he would rather be with me and the kids....but I find myself getting jealous that he can get away... get away and have a bed to himself (when he's gone - I wake up with my munchkin next to me), eat out for every meal, and not have to worry about getting everything done so dinner can be made, or the homework is done...... Being a mom is hard....
The rewards of being a mom are numerous.... I love my kids and husband more than I can say....even when I pick up my husband from the airport and his luggage is lost....and I drive round and round and round and round for a hour.... only to have him jump in the car and ask what I'm making for dinner....... he saw the look of utter annoyance....so tonight we had takeout Chinese....smart man..

A Glimpse Of The Woman My Daughter Will Be

It amazes me how quickly my soon to be thirteen year old daughter's moods swing... oh boy... I feel like I'm on a roller coaster at Magic Mountain... it's crazy.... One minute happy.. one minute sad, one minute wants to be a kid, one minute wants to be an adult, one minute loves the Jonas Brother, one minute can't stand them, one minute she is hugging and kissing me, and you guessed it the next minute she wants her space.... was I like this? I am sure my mother and my two older sister would probably say ...ooooohhhhh yesssssss....... my new/old friends from junior high that I've been recently reacquainted with on FaceBook would probably say you betcha....I'm thinking the curse my mom placed on many years ago has come true..."I hope you have a child that turns out to be exactly like you"..well thanks mom.... I say very sarcastically....
In between the daily mood swings - I saw a glimpse of the adult my daughter will become.. I was so proud of her.. This is what happened:
A while back she confided to me that many of the girls she has been hanging out with do and say inappropriate things. I know that her age is a big factor for this - kids testing out their "bad" words... "bad" jokes...This is the age where gossip really starts to grab hold... girls will brag about their "conquests" with boys... most of the things said are untrue.. I do remember those days.... but the things that are really bothering Nikki is the kind of humor a couple of these girls are using... it's sad that it only takes a couple of "bad apples" to bring down a bunch of kids.... kids feeling like they have to laugh at these awful jokes so they won't feel left out.. or too young to hang out with this group.. The jokes are the kind that are not funny at any stretch of the imagination.. Making fun of the kid who has bad skin, or the kid that is chubby, or calling each other "sluts" - I cringe at that one... Saying hateful things about blacks, Mexicans, and any other race that is not theirs... My kid does not understand this kind of hate... she did not find humor... but she was afraid to say anything... afraid to stand out.. afraid of rejection... until today..
Today my brave daughter stood up for what was right. She told the girls in a letter addressed to each of them individually that she felt uncomfortable listening to their "jokes".. The jokes hurt her feelings because she is friends with many of the kids they are tearing down.. she has friends of many races... we live in a color-blind home....always have and always will.. She told these girls that she could not hang out with them if they continued to hurt and gossip about other people..
One of the girls after school (I saw this) came up to Nikki and said she was sorry and that she would try to stop because she really liked Nikki.....
On the ride home, Nikki told me how afraid she had been to say anything... she had been dealing with these feelings almost all school year and now that school is almost over.... she felt that God wanted her to stand up for what is right... of course when we got home, she and her sister starting fighting over the last Oreo..... so I ate it....

Ten Years Later, Boy's 'Hand of Hope' Continues to Spark Debate - Local News | News Articles | National News | US News - FOXNews.com

Ten Years Later, Boy's 'Hand of Hope' Continues to Spark Debate - Local News | News Articles | National News | US News - FOXNews.com

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I found this story so amazing..... It goes to show you that a baby is a baby even at 21 weeks...11 weeks.... 2 weeks...conception...

Adoption is also a choice... says this Adoptive mother of two beautiful girls....

A Gift From My Sister

Today I went to my godmother Maria's Mass and said my Final goodbye... This has been a full week of saying goodbye.. Saturday she left us and I was able to kiss her goodbye.. Monday was the final viewing and today the Mass....Saturday will be the releasing of the ashes... ( I will not be able to go) I know that her immediate family will have a difficult transition in the following days... having lost my dad last July has made me more familiar with loss than I would rather be....

Today my sister sent me a picture of my baptism in 1968.. In the picture is my parents, my sisters, Carlos, and my Maria with her hands on my shoulders... One of the things that made this picture more sentimental was that last night I was talking to her eldest son.. we were sharing memories of our childhood and I brought up this picture. I told him how I kept lifting up my hands and how lovingly Maria (Tete) placed my hands down... I was a stubborn child....but I was well loved.... I had no idea where this picture was... I have not seen it in many years.... and out of the blue my sister sent it to me... I had not told her of my conversation..

Today was a difficult and beautiful day. Difficult knowing that Tete is no longer here on Earth and beautiful watching the family that she lovingly raised. Her five sons and their gorgeous wives and the children...the children that will continue to carry the Legacy of their grandmother....their Tete.

Thank you, Debbie for giving me this picture... Now I will have it forever...

My Daughter Woke Up Boy Crazy.....

My oldest daughter woke up boy crazy....and she is driving me insane!!!! When did this happen? Did her hormones just kick in one morning and boom the world revolves around "hot guys"? She's almost thirteen and is quite disturbed that we will not allow her to have a boyfriend, talk on the phone with boys, or go to a boy's house...granted none of this has been close to happening...but she's preparing for the future..
She is hanging out with girls who are allowed to do these things... One friend in particular is dating an "older' boy... He's a junior in high school.... I ask you what mom would allow her thirteen year old daughter to date a 17 year old boy??? Not this mom... so at this present moment in time...my over the top hormonal child is pouting in her room - probably throwing darts at my face....because I am so mean... In her words, "I'm stifling her"..."I'm trying to keep her a child"..."I don't know what it's like to be a teenager" and the phrases go on.... I so remember saying and feeling the exact same things when I was her age.... crazy.
So as my blog says..."I've become my mother".... so true that comment is today.. But I'll tell you something.... I'd rather her hate me now...because I won't let her date....than have her hate me later because I did allow her to date.....
Being a mom is tough....

Remember When

Yesterday my dear friend and God Mother Maria died. I was getting ready to go to visit her in her home when my phone rang... It was her son calling to tell me the sad news. I tried to keep my voice steady and to listen to the words he was saying...but I felt like I was in a tunnel... Maria is gone... I am too late... this kept repeating in my mind... His voice was shaky and he said he will call later..
I went to the couch and curled in a little ball and cried.... Cried tears of sadness and tears of guilt for not calling her more often.. not visiting her like I should have..all the I should haves and could haves just going through my head...Then I went to my computer and read this from her son:
I am so sorry to inform all of our dear friends that mom passed away minutes ago, surrounded by dad and the rest of her immediate family. She didn't suffer and she left with love and dignity. She asked me a few days ago to tell everyone that at the moment of her passing I should tell you all to be strong, that life goes on, and that she loves all of you dearly. More to follow later.
Maria knew we all loved her and in her beautiful grace and dignity she once again wanted to comfort those that loved her and who she loved..Always thinking of others as was her way.
Later yesterday afternoon her son called me again... He said that his family would like us to come over and mourn and love together. So we hopped in the car - my husband, Dusty and our two girls.. on the way we picked up my mom.. We arrived at the home of Maria and her husband. Their five sons, many grandchildren, and an assortment of other family members were there to greet us with a hug and a kiss. I have no idea what I said or how I said it... I was just so sad... Everyone was sad... They know that their mother is no longer suffering in pain. She is cancer free and in her perfect body rejoicing with her Father in Heaven... The tremendous faith of this family is an awesome thing to see. The family's love and kindness was just so overwhelming.
When I walked into the home I was told that Maria was still there in her room overlooking her beloved garden and I was asked if I wanted to see her and say my final goodbye. I did.. She was a sleeping angel and I went to her, kissed her on the forehead and told her I loved her and that I will miss her but I will see her again and I will give her a kiss and a hug as we always do...
Later I went into the backyard where all the sons and their families were reminiscing about the olden days.... this wonderful family had moved into a duplex on the other side of my home when I was a three year old child. They had just come to America from Guatemala.. We were their first American friends and the bond of friendship became stronger than you can imagine.
Maria having five sons.. she "adopted" me as her little girl... She would always call me her baby...and I was. With a love so strong - she made everyone feel that they were the most important person in the world.. That was one of her special gifts. She and her husband Carlos came to America with almost nothing but managed to raise five successful sons: An architect, A airplane pilot, a doctor, and two very successful businessmen... They created a home filled with love and happiness - where everyone wanted to stay....
This week will be a very difficult week.. tomorrow the viewing and Tuesday the Rosary service and later followed by the release of ashes... all we will have left will be the special memories of a lady who loved without reservation and passed the loving quality to her sons.. and her grandchildren....and there will be a lot of "Remember Whens"...

Saying Goodbye....

In the past year my children have been introduced to death... There are many things I can protect my children from but death is something I cannot. As Christians we know that death is a part of life and that it is the beginning of our journey into Heaven.. but it is still sad for the ones left on Earth to miss them...
Death came into our lives last Summer when my dad died... My dad had been suffering from cancer and heart disease and his poor body could no longer take it... This is the first person my kids knew up close and personal...they attended his funeral with dignity and grace... My oldest and most sensitive daughter wrote Grandpa a special note..she said it was between him and her....she laid it on the flowers on top of the coffin...after the graveside service and everyone left, I stayed behind to make sure that my dad was taken care of... A funeral worker saw the note and knew where it had come from. She asked me if I would like the note to be in the coffin with dad - I said that would be nice. She discreetly opened the casket and slid the note in... I thought that was very thoughtful of her....
Shortly after dad passed, two other close friends passed away... It seems it always comes in threes... My daughters knew these people well also...again my kids would attend a funeral...again my kids met death up close and personal... again they grieved.
Today death greeted me again.. A woman who I have known and loved my entire life.. It had been several years since I had seen Maria...but she has always been in my heart.. life goes by so fast when you are raising your own family and before you know it twenty years have gone by...and you ask yourself..where did they go? Maria came back into my life last July. When my dad was on his deathbed, I called her and her husband Carlos...they dropped what they were doing and jumped on a plane and arrived by my dad's bedside just in time. They were there to grieve with us and to love us. I don't think Maria knew her time was nearing also... none of us did. She is a lady with much beauty and grace raising five loving and successful sons along with her husband, Carlos. Now their family of seven has multiplied by many...wives and grandchildren... many souls for her to love.
Last time I saw Maria was a couple of weeks ago at the hospital she saw me and held her hand out and said "come here, my baby... I love you" She was too weak at the time to visit long... I kissed her on the check and told her I loved her and I would see her soon...
Goodbye, Maria....You are my love and my heart..you always have been and always will be...and when you see dad tell him hi for me..

The Love Dare Update

Well it's been two weeks since I have completed The Love Dare
and I have learned a few things.... One I am madly in love with my husband.. even when he ticks me off. We were having dinner last night and were trying to figure out the last time we exchanged angry words... it's been months... well... 57 days to be exact.... Now when we disagree.. I wait until I can say the words I want to say in a way that is both constructive and not critical... I do have to say... I am mastering this skill...
Dusty has changed in the fact that he isn't expecting the volcanic emotions that I tended to display whenever we disagreed... now he listens.. or he tries too. Sometimes, I have to remind him it's my turn to talk....but he's okay with that... I think that after 20 years of trying to get a word in between my rants has become a habit to talk over me at times.. he is working on that and it's getting better.
Marriages are work.... and if someone tells you different... they aren't married....or they are still in the newlywed stage.... my opinion of course... I have a couple of friends that have decided to try The Love Dare and I am truly rooting for them because I know it can work.
Three years ago, I filed for divorce paid an attorney way too much money to make by marriage go away... I truly hated being married... but then a funny thing happened. Every where I turned I was getting a message that I needed to keep my family together.... I kept hearing that divorce is bad for the kids... Heard in many sermons those couple of months...Pastor was it on purpose? Saw it in a couple of movies.... and read about in one of my "Chic books"... So I decided to save my marriage...for the kids not because I loved Dusty..
So three years later... a movie comes out called Fireproof... and God just laid it on my heart that I had to see this movie..... When I watched it.. I saw me and Dusty in both characters... I saw the destruction - conditional love or no love can do.... and I wept.... I then decided I needed to make a change.... I can control what I do...and how I respond to things.... I chose to do The Love Dare and I chose to Love my Husband... and I thank God everyday that I did....