The Bachelorette Finds her Soul Mate... uh ok....

Last night I made it home in time to see the last hour of The Bachelorette... I cannot tell you - how grossed out I am..... This show makes a mockery of love and marriage.... okay I am aware that it's not a newsflash to most of you.... but come on gimme me a break!!! Today's headline is "Jillian Harris Finds Her Soul mate and gets a proposal!" Are they serious?

Here's a girl that had her "heart broken" less than a year ago by Jason - The "Womanizer" Bachelor and now she is madly in love and is ready to marry Ed, the technology consultant... This is the guy that took himself off the show because he did not want to lose his job...but came back a few weeks later... because he felt he made a mistake - I think the producers offered him a special little bonus... but hey that's just me...

I have a few questions:

How can Jillian be ready to marry Ed when only a few nights before the proposal she was said that she wanted to rip Kiptyn's clothes off - Kiptyn being the guy she DID NOT CHOOSE... Call me crazy but when you are in love and ready to marry someone you're not thinking of ripping another guy's clothes off....

When Reid - a guy she already rejected on the last episode comes back in between Kiptyn and Ed... yep at the Final Rose Ceremony (I'm thinking the producers are really reaching..) he tells Jillian he made a mistake by not confessing that he loves her and the whole time Jillian is hanging onto his neck and telling him that's what I wanted to hear.... I don't know what to do... So Jillian takes a break to decide... she comes back and tells Reid it's too late.. I love someone else and it's NOT YOU.... so why were you hanging on the guy, crying, and needing to "think" about it?

With Reid gone..... and Kiptyn gone..... and Ed just about to make his entrance... Jillian the girl that all these guys "love" says "Ed better not F***ing disappoint me" Can she be more trashy? Ed asks the question she wants to hear.. she screams.. jumps, hugs, kisses, and everything else you would expect from this girl.... not woman....at least in my definition.... The whole time this is going on - I'm wondering how is Ed going to feel when he sees what took place before he got down on bended knee... If I were him - I would run far far away...

I wonder whatever happened to the Sanctity of Marriage? Whatever happened to true love? Whatever happened to monogamy? If this show is an example of the today's belief system.. No wonder divorce is rampant...

My Sister's Keeper

I recently watched a very disturbing movie called My Sister's Keeper starring Cameron Diaz, Abigail Breslin, Alec Baldwin, Jason Patric, Sofia Vassilieva, and Joan Cusack. The acting was outstanding - I would not be surprised if this movie is nominated for an Oscar and/or Globe....

The movie is about a young girl played by Abigail Breslin who was genetically engineered to be a donor match for her sister (Sofia Vassilieva) who has leukemia.... The young girl is loved... She is part of the family.... She is happy and loves her parents, her sister, and her brother... but she no longer wants to be poked and prodded... She wants to be medically emancipated from her parents.... She wants to have control over her own body.... so she hires an attorney to sue her parents for the rights to her own body....

Her mother played by Cameron Diaz believes that the younger sister must continue to give her body over to her sister.. to save her sister's life..... Now the mother wants her younger daughter's kidney.....

What is the most disturbing about this movie is that it can happen.... it has happened... maybe not to the extreme as My Sister's Keeper... not yet anyway... I remember years ago when Anissa Ayala, a young girl had Leukemia and there were no matches for a bone marrow transplant. Her parents conceived a daughter who was a match and saved Anissa's life... With Anissa's parents it was a gamble... At that time there was not a way to predetermine a match.... Ten years later, more families are in need of bone-marrow matches and today a baby CAN be genetically preselected to save a sibling....

I can point my finger and say no way would I ever consider that... I can say that now because my two incredible daughters are happy and healthy today... but if I am going to be honest here - the answer is I just don't know what I would do... A mother will do almost anything to save the life of her child...

Can You Die From Fright?

Have you ever seen the movie The Ring? That is one scary movie... My husband and I rented it one night and decided to watch it after the kids went to bed.... Right after we started watching - my oldest daughter (she was 8 maybe 9) was convinced that she was worldly and mature enough to watch this movie with us.... We told her "no way" and then the whining starts and the "I'm a big girl" starts.. and the " Plllllleeeeeeeeeessssssssssseeeeee" that won't stop.... So my wise husband decides to teach her a lesson and allowed her to watch it with us.... The first scary scene (10 minutes into the movie) - my kid starts crying.... freaking out, really..... and runs out of the room....

That memory made me wonder - can people die from being "scared to death"? We all have said the phrase - "you scared me to death or that scared me to death" especially us mothers... My kids scare me to death practically everyday and I'm not kidding!

Recently ABC News did a study on this very question and they discovered - yes... A person can be scared to death... When a person is scared by an earthquake, a near miss car accident, or any other sudden adrenaline inducing experience they can die.... it's like a drug overdose of adrenaline. In most people the adrenaline goes away and their heart beat starts to slow down and they are fine.. a little shaken up - but fine and others ( a very very small percentage) their heart is so completely shocked by the adrenaline rush it that it literally stops.....

To reduce the possibility of dying from fright the experts say to be prepared - know what to do in an earthquake, car accident, and whatever thing that can cause fear... People who feel that they have some control over a situation are less likely to die of fright...

I thought this study was interesting....... and regarding my daughter - she still remembers that scene in the movie and my wise husband wasn't too happy that she slept with us that night.... she was too afraid to sleep on her own....

Below is a scary scene from The Ring..

Frustrated By My Teenage Daughter

One of my biggest frustrations is when my newly turned teenager does things on her own without asking... and then either breaks, destroys, or messes something completely up... In her mind, she is a mature adult who feels that she does not need to seek a) permission and b) advise..... She is driving me INSANE.... I love my kid madly.... but right now she is driving me mad... insane... take me to a loony bin today.... I need a white padded room... Nothing gets through to her and in her hormonal drama... the attitude comes flying out..... and the "I know.. Okay.... I didn't know" is a major part of the excuses and dialogue of our everyday living together....

It amazes me that you can buy a manual for practically everything... connect A to B and C happens... but raising a teenage girl - forget about it.... I thought since I was a teenage girl at one time myself - I would get it.... But I SO DO NOT GET IT...... I don't even come close to getting it....

So I sit her at my desk in the mist of my frustration... and she walks in..... gives me hug and a kiss... and says she is sorry..... What's a mom to do..... except love love love.... and know that this time will pass..... at least I hope so!!!!

There's A Ghost In My House!

Today my housekeeper came and boy does my house look nice.... The carpets are freshly vacuumed... the woodwork is gleaming.... the tile floors sparkling.... the kitchen... A HUGE MESS!!!! I call out to my girls - who made this mess??? I hear "not me".... "not me"...

My home has been invaded by the "Not Me" ghost.... seriously.... This ghost has been busy this week! Kool-aid on the counter tops.... dirty clothes in the living room... cookie crumbs on the couch.... and my all time favorite.. The "Not Me" does not flush the toilet....yucky poo poo.

So I am on a mission to rid my home of the "Not Me" ghost..... and I know just the two little women to help me..... you wanna guess who?

The Dark Side Of The Net

Being a parent is the most difficult job I have ever had..... will ever have.. Don't misunderstand me - it's the best and most joyful experience too.. But lately - I just don't know what to do... what to say... how to react.... I confided in a very wise friend today and she gave me sound advice... She said when my child is sleeping - pray over her. Pray for wisdom... Pray that any gateway that may be open to Satan to close.. Pray for protection.. Pray for control..

The days of "because I said so" are over... I am no longer the knowledgeable one.... someone else is... anyone else is.... the days of puberty have come full force.. along with the thoughts of boys, sex, and the quest for more knowledge of the unknown... I have recently discovered that the Internet is not a good thing for a child that has a hard time controlling her impulses... the Internet can be that gateway to bad things.. It's very easy to find things that a thirteen year old child should never see... there are no blocks.. no way to stop it... As of today, my kids are not allowed on the Internet without an adult present.... things are just too scary... just too perverted... at least for a child that just can't say "no".....

The Internet has been a great tool to use for my business... my blog.... shopping..... answers to questions... but I have discovered that there is also a dark side... a very dark side and that draws people in... children in..... After my recent experience with the "dark side of the net" - I have learned that I was naive to a degree.... I did not grasp the darkness in some individuals..... I have learned a lesson as disturbing as it is.....

It is so frustrating to me that I have many of the answers my daughter seeks... Even though it has been a very long time since I was a teenager - I do remember some of the angst.. some of the drama.... some of the pain... and of course some of the happiness too. She has so many gifts... she is smart, she is funny, she has servant's heart, and she loves the Lord.... But... she is a "loner" - I can tell she wants to be part of a group... she wants to be loved and accepted... but she gravitates towards the other kids who are unsure.... who are "loners".... I want so much for her to have a "good" friend... a friend who will lift her up and not drag her down... Who is interested in good healthy things and can initiate a spark in my own child's heart....

So tonight when my sweetheart is deep in slumber - I am going to pray over her... and when I lay my head down to sleep - I will pray for God to give me the wisdom and the right words to say.... Being a parent is tough....

Respecting Views and Beliefs of Others

One of the things I find very sad is that some people can get very belligerent if you don't agree with their views... whether it be - the stock market, religion, politics, or whatever topic they are promoting....We are all entitled to our beliefs - it's how we approach and respect one another that counts... not whether we are right or not....

I find it very disrespectful when a person will tell me I am wrong in a condescending way... as if I have no idea what I am talking about.. They assume they are superior and everyone else is wrong. They assume they are the experts just because they say so... The ones that usually assume this position are the ones who are sorely lacking in any upper education.... the school of hard knocks does not count... saying they are knowledgeable because they have an opinion - does not make them an expert .. saying they have studied a particular subject does not make them an expert..

I have learned that most of those who are experts in their chosen field are excited about debating... are excited about sharing... and do not get upset when others question their beliefs... I have found that "rightly educated" people have much more tolerance and grace...The uneducated ones with their lack of tolerance and understanding only makes them appear arrogant... and that is not good.. Believe me - no one is impressed.. name dropping doesn't work... A person does not gain the knowledge of an expert just by association... I wish that were true because - I would be really smart. There are many people I look up too..

Being oneself and accepting the fact that they don't know it all and respecting others opinions - that will bring the respect they crave.. The "I know everything attitude" just makes people back away.. and one little note - just because people are not getting in a debate with you does not mean they agree with you.. it means that your arrogance has caused them to close their ears to you... all they hear is blah blah blah..

One of the things I am trying to teach my children is to respect others. Respect different opinions, different religions, different taste in music.. in food, and other numerous differences. We live in a country with many different sides and if we cannot show respect and tolerance we are lost... we are divided... and being divided we cannot be strong...we cannot be united.

Show tolerance for other opinions. Do not tell others they are wrong without hard evidence to support your beliefs.... and many times a belief is a belief... Do not attack others by claiming that they lack the knowledge to represent their beliefs.... because that makes you look ignorant.. Don't turn your back on people who question your knowledge but rather embrace the idea of sharing what you know and a difference of opinion is okay... don't always try to win over someone to your way of thinking.. don't say things like "I don't care what you think" or "I don't care if you agree with me" those are fighting and hateful words.... especially if you follow up by saying "You have to know you are wrong" or "In the future be accurate in your facts" Comments like this only belittle the person and make you look like a bully...Don't be the person that if you don't get your way you cut off communication and go pout... Be the grown up... Show respect...and show the love that God wants you to show... Remember it's not about you.....

A Real Man - My Husband

One of the things I love about my husband Dusty is that he is a REAL man. He is self assured and confident. He never has the need to prove himself... his actions and results speak for themselves. He is by far the smartest person I know... and I like that. In my personal and business life he is the person I go to for answers and advice... He is an excellent leader and team player - a man of many talents.
I have often asked him in the past why he does not toot his own horn when others talk about themselves.... and his reply has always been the same... I do not need too - my results speak for themselves. For example, he is a very good golfer - it's his passion (besides me) - when we were dating, I too golfed and I thought I was pretty good - I was in a golf class in college and I would tease him in our conversations that I could beat him on the course... he would chuckle and say he looked forward to it... The day came and the guy shot under par! Granted we were on a par 3 course at the time - but the guy shot under par!!! I learned my lesson.. He will often play with others who talk about how great their game is and Dusty will smile and let them talk in hopes that the person is as good as they claim to be..... The results always speak at the end of the 18th hole... it's funny to me that the ones who praise themselves the most are the ones who do the worst...
When others talk about how successful they are... Dusty listens.. he feels no need to brag about himself.. he feels no need to one up anyone - that to me is a real man - in his quiet confidence.. in his humbleness... I am learning from him everyday...
Recently I have learned a valuable lesson from him... in my anger and pride I wanted to lash out at someone... someone who I feel values themselves so highly that they need to look down to see God... someone that boasts and boasts about their own greatness.... I wanted to put this person in their place... this was my pride... my arrogance... my sin....
Dusty explained to me his thoughts on one upping someone and on being humble. He explained that you never "win" or glorify God by trying to prove that you're right... The only authority I need to be concerned with is what does God think.. by my actions and thoughts - and if I am tearing someone down because they bug me and I want to prove them wrong in so many areas...it is not the right thing to do....I would be bringing myself down to the level I abhor.. I need to sit back and pray for a humble heart.. a forgiving heart... and let them boast... let them act superior by their words and actions and pray that someday they to will understand they are not glorifying God by constantly glorifying themselves - because in the end it's not about them or me.... it's about putting God first by our words, our actions, and our thoughts.

Thank you, Dusty for being the man I married.. the man I can look up too. the man I feel very proud of.... and for being a real man... I love you.

Families That Pray Together Stay Together

Good things happen to families that go to church together. It's hard for me to imagine my life... my kids' lives.. my husband's life without God being the center.. the focus.. God does not care what church you go too... A great friend of mine holds "church" at her home along with her husband every Saturday night and the people who would not ordinarily go to church in a "corporate church environment" go to her home church.... they are meeting God up close and personal... and that is what God sees.. Going to church strengthens us because of the like-mindedness of the faith of those present. Of course no church is perfect and going to church does not make you a Christian but a supernatural experience does occur and good things will happen because of your obedience.

Personally for me - I enjoy Sunday mornings. I like meeting with my Home Builder's (parents with children/teens) Sunday school group. Everyone in that Sunday school room - I can call a true friend... my supporter... my sister or brother. My girls enjoy getting together with their friends in Sunday school to have a little fun, talk, and debate before the actual service. One of the things that I find amazing is that in our small Sunday school discussions - we will touch on a subject that we feel needs to be further discussed and/or studied and then we go to the church service and somehow - the sermon covers what we were discussing... it was not planned by us or the pastor... it is such a God thing.. when you open the door for Him - He does walk through and He loves to show His love for us!!!

In the last couple of years - I have found myself craving more of Him. My prayer time is continuous - my love for Him is stronger - my trust in Him is better.. I know it is because I have wrapped myself in His word.. He no longer is a stranger whom I worship... He is my Father whom I have an one on one relationship with and I want others to enjoy the kinship I have...

One of the things I love to witness is my daughters praying... whether it be at mealtime, in their room, or together. Their words come from their heart... I love that... I love the old saying - "A family that prays together... stay together.."

Love, Marriage, and Then Sex......

I remember when I was in the tenth grade and I had a boyfriend named Derek. He was a nice boy.... I was not allowed to date so the extent of our relationship was holding hands between classes and him waiting at the bus stop with me and giving me a kiss goodbye as I climbed onto the bus... there was one time that I sneaked over to his house... his mom was home so I felt safe... I remember we were in his room and he was showing me pictures and such... then we started to kiss... make out really... and then his hands started to travel to places that only I had traveled too... in the shower. I took his hand and said no.... we continued to kiss and then those hands had a mind of their own.... again I said no.. We stopped and I asked him if he ever had sex because he had become very frisky... he said that he had... I was in shock - so I broke up with him then and there..... The idea of me having sex or my boyfriend having sex was something that I was not ready for..

Today sex is everywhere.... more so then when I was a sophomore in high school in 1981. It's on television and not just on soap operas anymore... It's in almost every sitcom, magazine, drama, and reality TV show. It's something that appears to be taken for granted... You date.. you kiss... you have sex... there's another word that comes to mind - but this is a G-rated site..

My kids have developed the idea that sex is not a big deal.. Because everyone is doing it... of course they both tell me that they are going to wait until they get married and I hope they will but today's world culture is so very blase about sex and that blase attitude is going to make it very difficult for my kids to wait - I know because I did not wait.. and I regret that...

You can pick up any tabloid magazine and read about Angelina and Brad and their large brood of children... they are not married.. they are not teaching their children about family values.. The process of a loving family relationship - love, marriage, and then children... How about the octomom... having so many children without a husband or father to her children... she got her babies out of a tube... Where have our family values gone... our Christian values???

Monday night I was watching The Bachlorette.. I used to love the show - but now it has lost the little class it once had... the bachelor or the bachlorette is sucking face with whatever candidate is with them at the time.. can you image if one of them had a cold sore? The whole cast would be in pain... a thought I had the other night... my point is that - here I was sitting watching this show.. my daughters walk in and start to watch the show.. I did not think to say no no no - you can't watch this... or turn the channel... and it struck me.. I am guilty of promoting "the idea sex is not a big deal" too by what I watch in front of my children... that was a major moment for me... Our children are influenced by what we watch.... I am not saying to start watching the Disney channel over what you want to watch - we are the adult.. I am saying that we need to be diligent on what we watch on TV around our children... watch what we say.. what we do... and what we read.... We need to set the example of what we want our children to become... we need to teach our child about the family values that the world no longer supports.. Love, then Marriage, and then the baby in the baby carriage...

Michael Jackson - You Will Be Missed

I remember in high school dancing to Michael Jackson's Thriller... I remember watching the music video on MTV with my friends and thinking is was "totally awesome" "killer" and of course we all "gagged me with a spoon" on how he looked at the end.... I also remember crying when I watched "We are the World" to help save Africa.... I am a child of the 60's, 70's, and 80's... and Michael Jackson defined the music I loved to listen to and dance too... In those days, we were ALL fans...
That is the Michael Jackson - I want to remember.... The sweet little boy of the Jackson 5, the philanthropist for many charities, and the man who loved in his childish nature....

I pray for his children who lost a father... I pray for his family who lost a son... and a brother... and I pray for his soul.... I pray that he came to know our Savior Jesus Christ - before it was too late.

I wanted to share a couple of my favorite videos with you in Remembrance to the King of Pop.