All I Need Is To Be Left Alone...

Early this morning my daughter woke me up crying in pain... She has been cursed with extremely painful monthly bills.... She took a couple of Midol and I told I was sorry she did not feel good - I can definitely understand the pain - I too suffer something awful... I told her it will take about an hour for the medication to start working..... and I kissed her on the head and headed for bed... Dusty (the husband) stayed behind and asked her if she wanted him to rub her back and she said she did...

Many years ago I was very sick and in the hospital.... I had to start dialysis and a surgeon came into my room to put a shunt into my chest for the three time weekly procedures I was going to endure.. Dusty was in the room while I was having this minor surgery... The way Dusty shows love and concern is through touch... Dusty kept trying to rub my head during the procedure... I kept asking him to stop... You see, when I go through difficult and/or painful things - I need to go into myself... It's kind of hard to explain - the best way to describe it would be I don't want to talk, feel, listen, and see... I want my eyes closed and have my mind take me somewhere else... Does that make sense? This is the way I deal... and it drives Dusty completely insane... He wants to help me... and because Dusty is a touchy feely kind of guy it's difficult for him to understand that all I want.. all I need is to be left alone.....

My kid is much like Dusty - she is toucher/feeler... When she cries she reaches out to be held... This is her comfort.. When someone is sad - she is the first one there offering her shoulder... I wish I was more like that... I am a caregiver by nature but not much of a sympathizer... I deliver what is needed in my mind... And when my kid trips down the stairs for the tenth time because she's not paying attention - I know she's not hurt - she is just more scared... or frustrated... I don't run to her assistance every time she trips... Don't misunderstand me - when there is true pain - the noise made is different and I would be there is flash... I think moms know what I am saying.. Kind of like when our children were babies - we could tell the difference between the cries... same concept... and because I don't jump up every time - my kid has accused me of not caring.... I ask are you hurt? She replies no.. and then I ask her do you think I would go to you if you were really hurt? She said Yes... So how do you figure I don't care? Well I know the answer and the answer is I am not showing her - her way of love.... I do try to be more conscious of it.. but it can be difficult when your daughter has inherited your gift of being a major klutz...

People deal with pain... sadness in many different ways - and poor husband of mine - he so much wants to give me comfort... his way..... and just does not get the fact that I really just need to be left alone...

My Mom's Wish...

Today I went to lunch with my mom - We were talking about my girls - and I made the comment that teenage girls are tough.. the attitude.. the mood swings... the drama....

And my mom - bless her.... said "I know - remember - my curse wish for you? That you have a daughter just like you! Well there you go - You got two"

My Kid Said What!

So we are driving to Disneyland today - stayed for about 5 minutes - Spring has hit the most Happiest Place on Earth (super duper crowded thank goodness for passes)- anyway - we are driving along and listening to my favorite classic rock station and the Rollings Stones come on - My favorite song of ALL time.... and what does my kids ask "Who's That" and "Oh, I don't like them.."

What the........? Is She Nuts?

Friday Follow - My First Giveaway

It's Friday Follow once again - hosted by One 2 Try, Hearts Make Families and Midday Escapades - Be sure to visit these great bloggers... They are wonderful sites with great ideas, topics, and fun things to do... And be sure to join in on the fun!


I have been the lucky recipient of two (2) giveaways this week and so I decided to share the love with my Very First Giveaway!




This is a two movie - 2 disc Giveaway - The Perfect Stranger and Another Perfect Stranger.

The Perfect Stranger
Nikki Cominsky is a successful attorney - troubled by the fact that her life isn't perfect. One day, a mysterious invitation shows up on her desk that reads, "You are Invited to Dinner with Jesus Christ." Thinking it's a prank, she shows up.. only to find herself in the middle of a whirlwind evening of debate and revelation -with the most unforgettable man she would ever meet....

Another Perfect Stranger
In the sequel to "The Perfect Stranger", Nikki's daughter Sarah, now 19 and heading West for college, is at her own spiritual crossroad. Tor further complicate matters, her mother has recently made a startling revelation about dining with The Almighty. Thinking her mom is certifiably insane, Sarah strikes up an unlikely friendship with a travel companion who shares her disdain for religion..

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Drawing to be held Tuesday - March 31, 2010..

Innocence Gone

Today I watched a movie trailer starring Dakota Fanning... I was stunned... What happened to the fairy child in "I am Sam" - or the little girl who loved her horse in "Dreamer"? In my mind's eye - I still see Dakoto dancing as a sweet ballerina in "Uptown Girls..... But girls... children grow up...



Dakota is an amazingly talented actress - in every movie that I have seen her in - I am swept away by her character... I feel her vulnerability - her sadness - her fear - her happiness - Her evilness in her most recent movie New Moon (Twilight). Dakota is a couple of years older than my girls.. They are growing up with her... They have seen her in Charlotte's Web, Dreamer, War of the Worlds, Sweet Home Alabama, Uptown Girls and more... The characters she plays could easily been been one of my kids' friends... well except for the vampire character..lol



When I saw the trailer for the new movie "The Runaways" about the early years of Joan Jett (played by Kristen Stewart) and Cherie Currie (played by Dakota) - I was shocked... No longer is Dakota an innocent little girl - or a she/girl vampire- she is in a movie that she could not get into a theater to watch without a parent.. My kids won't be watching this movie anytime soon.... What do you think of children making movies like this? I think that sadly some if not all of the innocence of childhood is gone....

First Day Of Spring

Last Saturday was the first day of Spring.... Yippee - and the best way to celebrate Spring in Southern California is to go to the beach - hang out with friends... have a BBQ and watch the crazy kids body surf in the ocean - the water was a warm temperature of about 50 -yikes...
The sky was overcast but occasionally the sun came out - the night sky has a twinkling blanket of stars....

The Photo Scavenger Hunt

Last Sunday my kids participated in a photo scavenger hunt... They had a laundry list of things to do.. I love the fact that our church offers a good youth program. A place where the kids can go and be crazy... have fun... be safe.. and learn about fellowship....

Find Cookies for Eyes...




Dance with a guy in a red jumpsuit... (this parent has a good sense of humor)



Stand In A toilet..



Hug A Stranger (he looked thrilled)



Paint half your face (good look...)



Jump for Joy



Mummify someone in a public place

Lessons Learned

I believe one of the most difficult things about being a parent is watching your kid feel pain... The kind of pain that could have been avoided if she had just listened to me... Had taken the wisdom that I had to offer.... But like most kids - my daughter did not listen... and went and did it her way...

I know that a big part of the growing process is making mistakes... I know that is the best way to learn... I know that in my head... But my heart is hurting for my little girl...

I Had A Camera and There You Go.. | Kelly's Ideas

I Had A Camera and There You Go.. | Kelly's Ideas

Sex Texting The New Party Line?

I think when a woman becomes a mom - God gives her the gift of radar/intuition....The ability to know when something just is not right.. There might not be any real and obvious signs - but there's just this feeling we get... A feeling in the pit of our stomach that something just isn't right....

My daughter had befriended a girl a couple of years ago at school... When I met this girl there was something about her that just rang wrong - red flags were popping out all over her - as time went on - my dislike grew larger... The girls did not see each other outside of school so I did not forbid my kid from being her friend - As hard it is for me - I had to allow my kid to learn from her choices in friends.. If I protected her and sheltered her then - how would she learn? Backing off and watching from a distance is something very hard for me to do... My very high "A" personality trait makes me want to take over.. take charge.. protect at all cost...

Yesterday I noticed that my kid was texting a lot more than usual.. I would walk by her and ask who she was talking so much with and she said the girl I don't like.. Out of curiosity, I asked her what they were talking about and she said they were talking about movies, music, and clothes.. I said okay and walked away... As the day progressed my kid had her cell with her every where she went and this is NOT usual behavior. After the newness of the cell phone wore off- she would go days without it and all of a sudden it was her life line? The first feeling of something wasn't right started to hit me... but I let it go....

Last night as I was going to bed - I just got a feeling - a little voice in my head telling me that I needed to find out what was going on with all the texting.... So I went into my kid's room and took her cell... (Now for those you that may read this - I do NOT see this as invasion of privacy - she is 13 years old and I will be a parent and I will check on things if I feel something is not right...) She had deleted all the incoming texts - there were two (2) left but she did not delete her outgoing... Without going into detail - I did the right thing.... and from my daughter's responses she realized she was way over her head... In an around about way - I have to say I'm proud of her... Not for starting what she did but for realizing what she was doing was wrong...

This morning I asked my daughter who a certain boy was.... She said "how did you find out?" I told her that I had a mom's feeling... She crawled into bed with me and told me everything that happened... She told me that the girl who I don't like had hooked her up with this boy via cellphone who claimed to be a christian.. who claimed to be a "good boy" until he started asking her to do things that no child should hear.... Yep, my kid was introduced to the world of sex texting by the girl I do not like.... My daughter shared how she felt awful and how her stomach started to hurt... She said that she asked him to stop texting her.. I did see those texts... My kid learned a huge lesson..... My child cried.... she said this is not what she wanted but she did not know that until it happened.. I thought that was a very wise statement...

I did not punish her for the type of texting she got herself into - I believe she is punishing herself enough - but I did take her cell phone away for a week.. One of the rules with the cell phone was no calls or texting with boys... She's 13 and she is NOT allowed to date and she broke a rule.... I remember when I was her age and there were party lines. (the 70/80's version of texting) We would accidentally on purpose hit a party line when a phone had a busy signal - that is where we would meet boys... I remember yelling through the beep beep beep - and my parents heard me in the other room... I broke the rules - I too was not allowed to talk to boys and my phone was taken away..... hmmm
As I have stated before -

I HAVE BECOME MY MOTHER!

My Top 3 Quirks | Kelly's Ideas

My Top 3 Quirks | Kelly's Ideas

A Little Pink in a World of Camo: I Will Always Be a Marine Wife

A Little Pink in a World of Camo: I Will Always Be a Marine Wife

Daylight Savings Is Kicking My Butt

I love to sleep - I love my bed - my mattress is fluffy but firm - my sheets are 1000 count Egyptian cotton (soft and cool) - I love the way my bed smells, fresh with a hint of flowers - My bed is big and I can stretch out without touching anyone or anything.... Oh, I really really love my bed... and I miss it so much...

Lately, I have been a little stressed. Stressed with work - demands - kids - husband under foot- having a lot on my plate... I am up at dawn talking to clients on the east coast on many mornings and up late in front of the TV trying to calm my racing mind... Last night up watching Gilmore Girls until 2:00 am... Yes, I know - I should have gone to my lovely bed but when my mind is racing my legs get restless and I start kicking up a storm.... Nothing is worse than going to bed to sleep and tossing and turning and legs going wild....

A friend of mine suggested putting soap at the foot of my bed to help with the restless leg syndrome - now I have to figure out how to stop my racing mind - any suggestions?

Conversations With A Thirteen Year Old Girl

"Mandy died in her sleep last night"
"Who's Mandy?" I asked.
"She's a girl that goes to my school."
"Were you friends with her?"
"No, but I knew of her."
"Do you know why she died?" I asked
"They said she had anorexia"
"Do you know what anorexia is?
"Yes, it's that thing that Karen Carpenter had"


"That girl is so EMO..." she said as she pointed to a girl going into the school.
"What is EMO?"
"It means emotionally challenged"
"Ok?" I say sarcastically...
"EMOs are girls that dress up goth and cut themselves" she informed me..

"Most of my friends are allowed to date."
"Really? How do they go on their dates?" I inquire
"Their older brother drives.."
"All your friends have older brothers?
"Most of them do"

"I don't know why I can't go to_____'s house for a sleep over!" she cries.
"What happened at her last sleep over?" I ask.
"They went to 7-11." she says
"What time did they go?"
"Midnight.." she mumbles
"Enough said" I finish...

"Can you take me to Target?' she asks
"What do you need to get?
"I have gift cards"
"Okay, what do you want to buy?"
"I have gift cards and I want to buy something"
"Didn't you want to save for a I touch?"
"Not anymore..."
"Why, I thought you "had" to have one"
"I don't have enough money to buy one."
"Why don't you save your money and get one then"
"I want to buy a bag, earrings, a necklace, and a CD..."

Interesting chats with my thirteen year old daughter....

I Need To Wait... Patiently | Amazing Salvation

I Need To Wait... Patiently | Amazing Salvation

Relieved It Wasn't My Daughter...

When my youngest was around six (6) years old she decided she wanted to try gymnastics - There was a introduction to gymnastic class through the city and I signed her up.... The class took place at a pretty well known gym (I did not know it at the time) - after the first day of lessons her teacher came up to me and said that she was a natural... I took it to mean they wanted me to sign her up for classes to make more money... I said "that's nice" and did not think about it again until....

The owner of the gym came up to me at my daughter's last lesson and said that he believed she had a lot of natural talent and thought it would be great to have her take lessons... My daughter loved the idea and she started taking 2 - 1 hour classes a week. Before I knew it (within 6 months) she was on team and competing... Her classes had increased to 4 days a week at 3 hours plus each day... She also had private coaching on the weekends.... Later she switched gyms to work with a well known coach who had sent several girls to the Olympic games... This is where the fun became a job.... this is where my kid discovered she no longer wanted to this sport and after watching her cry in pain more times than I could count along with the other girls - I believed she made the right decision... Gymnastics is a sport that you have love to continue or the pain... the hours... the complete dedication is not worth it..

I was relieved on so many levels when she quit.... Relieved that I no longer had to hold my breath when she would swing through the air on the uneven bars.... or flipping her body onto the 4 inch beam... or climbing the rope to the ceiling (that still gives me the chills).. Relieved that I don't have to juggle a gymnastic schedule... relieved that I don't have to pay the expensive tuition and private lessons.... relieved I no longer have to listen to the all consuming gossip of the other moms... the viciousness was amazing... Most of all, I am relieved that I don't have to worry about her breaking a leg.. an arm... or worse like so many girls do each year....

The reason I am writing about this today is - I ran into a mom of a gymnast that I once knew - I asked her how her daughter was doing... She said that her daughter received a full ride to a pretty good college and in the first competition she hurt herself on the uneven bars... she broke her back.... she lost her scholarship.... she is still in extensive therapy.... and in excruciating pain....

I hope I don't sound awful by saying this.... but the main thing that was going through my mind when this mother was telling me about her daughter... besides how awful I felt for her was that I thank God my kid quit in time....

How Do I Explain The Pina Colada Song? | Kelly's Ideas

How Do I Explain The Pina Colada Song? | Kelly's Ideas

Spending Time With Dad

I recently watched the movie Up in The Air with George Clooney - I could just drown in those beautiful eyes of his... can't you? I had no idea what the movie was about - only that George had been nominated for an Oscar and the movie received a lot of buzz.... Although the movie was excellent - I have to say it was so sad......

Here's a man who travels almost every day of the year - in the movie he had mentioned that he had only been home 37 days that year - the rest of his time is spent in airports and hotels and he thinks he likes his life - without giving the movie away to those of you that have not seen it - believe me when I say that he's doesn't know how unhappy he really is...

This movie had me thinking.... How lonely it must be to travel so much - How lonely it must be for my husband who traveled several days a week - like his father did before him... It's funny how we tend to imitate the role models of our childhood..

This week, I noticed how hungry my girls were for Dusty's (husband) attention... They asked him to watch them play tennis - to pick them up from school - go for walks around the neighborhood.... The girls missed their dad.... and now that he is home - they are soaking it all in.. Taking advantage of spending quality time with their dad... and that is a good thing.

Humbled By A Stranger

The other day I shared with you that my husband, Dusty was laid off from his job. I have to tell you, I am not worried.... I know that something great is around the corner... Funny - because I am a planner and I am a budgeter (is that even a word?) - I am not nor could I be a spur of the moment kind of girl... But right now at this very moment - I feel peace.... and Dusty is feeling peace too... Today - I believe he was having fun connecting with business associates and friends that he has acquired over the the past twenty-six (26) years... Updating his Linkedin and other things..... But I have to tell you about something that happened yesterday....

Monday night, Dusty and I told the girls about daddy being laid off and everything is okay - they are still getting their braces in a couple of weeks - they are still going to tennis lessons - they are still going to their private school... nothing will change.. Both girls are good and they said that they will pray for daddy to find a "really fun" job... Move forward to Tuesday night.

Tuesday evening as I was cleaning the kitchen - the phone rang.... It was from the dad of my daughter Kara's best friend... His name is Nick and to be honest I have never had a conversation with him other than the typical hi and byes of busy parents... Dusty had never had a conversation with him either - so we assumed that he was calling about our kids... When he called he asked to speak with Dusty.... He told Dusty that he heard that he had lost his job recently and would like to have coffee with him in the morning.. .. My first thought was he sold insurance or something like that and wanted to approach Dusty to work with him... Definitely NOT Dusty's cup of tea or should I say coffee... I was very judgmental... Dusty agreed to meet with him the next morning.

Wednesday morning - Dusty and Nick meet at Starbucks.... After a little bit of surface conversation - Nick went on to tell Dusty that he liked Kara's character - that she obviously is being raised in a family that loves God and has high moral values... He likes the fact that his daughter is best friends with Kara... He said that he felt led to offer to pay the tuition for our kids to continue going to their private school.... He did not know what kind of financial situation we were in but he wanted to offer this unbelievable gift.... This person I sorely judged by thinking he was trying to get Dusty to sell insurance for him was offering to pay for tuition to help us out - strangers to him... As many of you know - tuition in a private Christian school is not cheap.... I am so humbled by this.... thankfully, we do not need assistance but wow......

Nick taught me a lesson on Wednesday - a lesson that there are good and generous people out there... People who offer to help others.. People who do it because they want to glorify God.. Many times I have heard that the money we earn is God's blessing to us... and Nick took that to heart... I never had before. I am so very humbled... and it makes me want to be a better person.

Effective Immediately....

Yesterday morning while I was making my 2nd cup of tea the phone rang... I was already in business mode and without looking at the caller ID I answered "Good morning, this is Kelly".... The call was from my husband and right away I could tell something was wrong... Usually he would make fun of me for not checking called ID but this time he said - "Good morning, Kelly this is Dusty... (Long pause) - I hate to be the one to tell you this but I was just informed that effective immediately my position has been terminated...... I am so sorry"

First off - there is nothing to be sorry for.... Because of my husband and his incredible work ethic, brilliance, and motivation - I have NEVER been without Our children have never been without.... In reality - I've been completely blessed... I have a beautiful home that's almost paid off.... We have been able to send our children to the best schools... We have been on amazing vacations... We have saved for our future retirement... We have very little debt because of my husband..

My husband wants to do what he does best - provide for this family and yesterday his main role in our lives was taken away for a short time... I know it must be difficult for him - a man who has been successful since the minute he stepped into the work force over 25 years ago... His first job out of college he worked his way from sales representative to Vice President of Sales - he was there for 23 years... until the company was bought out by an overseas company and most of the upper management was eliminated.. Two years ago, he took a position with this company - knowing that in today's economy there was a very high chance it would not last.... Even though he was making a difference in his region - the rest of the company was losing money... and there you go....

I think Dusty is surprised that I am okay..... and I really am - I have no doubt that there is a job out there with his name on it... I believe in him... he has never failed me... so why would I think he would now?

Musical Monday - Think | Kelly's Ideas

Musical Monday - Think | Kelly's Ideas

April Fools Day is a Holiday To My Husband | Kelly's Ideas

April Fools Day is a Holiday To My Husband | Kelly's Ideas

My Spa Day

Today was my day to pamper myself... Working 10-12 hour days - being a single parent most days (the husband travels a lot) and taking care of 2 kids and all their activities - maintaining a clean house - balancing the budget - keeping track of everyone's whereabouts has worn me completely out..... Being a woman - a wife - and mom is tiring... Today - I took the day off..

I first started with a deep penetrating hot mud stress reliving back massage.. Followed by a 50 minute massage.....



I had a forty minute break and took in the sauna, steam room, and jacuzzi - I wore my towel - I have a hard time understanding how women can walk around without anything on... and sit in the steam room.... yuck and no thank you...



I then had a 50 minute facial and



the finale was the waxing.....



and I came home feeling relaxed and limp like a wet noodle... awwwww

Peer Pressure | Amazing Salvation

Peer Pressure | Amazing Salvation

Respect Is Not An Option

One of the things I am having the most difficult time dealing with is the highs and lows of my hormonal daughters.. I don't remember acting this way when I was their age - maybe it's because my parents were stricter.... or maybe I have blacked out that particular emotion - who knows but I am running out of patience .... and I do not like it!

Last night was open house at their school... I was browsing through my 6th grader's class and she was showing me the different projects she and her friends had completed so far this year - then... walks in the boy - the boy she has a major crush on... All of sudden - she is talking to me in a voice of disrespect like nothing I had ever heard.... No flipping idea where it came from... She starts walking away from me when I was talking - it was crazy.. All because the boy that she likes walked in? I did not want to embarrass her so I waited until we were out of the room to ask her what the heck was wrong with her.. and she said she did not now.....

Later we went to the open quad where a band was playing - my junior higher wanted to go hang and dance with a few of her posse friends while I went to the silent auction and gym to view the Art Masters - I told her I would be back in about a half hour or so.... She acted like she did not know me and gave her water bottle to my other daughter who promptly said she did not want to hold it - the junior higher looked at both of us like we were crazy and turned around with her nose up in the air.... I tell you this behavior - although I believe it is pretty typical -it is not something I find acceptable..

Today when I arrived at the school to pick up the kids my 6th grader told me she wanted to spend the night with her friend - I thought it would be fine - her friend was trying to call her mom but kept getting voice mail - I told her that we'll call later to see if it could would work out... My kid did not like that option - she wanted me to just let her wait for the mom and kind of push herself on them and go to her friend's house - the attitude - I tell you.... What was funny was her little friend was watching this exchange and she said if I treated my mom like you are treating your mom - I wouldn't be going anywhere except home to write 1000 sentences saying, "I will respect my parents".... At that moment, I think my kid got it - what she was doing was not cool.. it was stupid... it was disrespectful...

I realize that both of my girls are growing up - finding themselves - thinking their friends - their crushes are more important.... I completely get that... But Respect is NOT an Option..... I will demand respect and if talking doesn't work - if discipline doesn't work..... I could always take them to school in a bathrobe and curlers.... or better yet a bikini..... Now that I believe would scare them straight.... Let's hope for the parents and children of their school it doesn't come to that!

Private Or Public - That Is The Question

I am in the middle of the one of the hardest decision I have had to make.... There are so many factors that affect my decision.. and I am completely torn... Do I keep my kids in the private Christian school they are in and allow them to go through to their senior year or do I pull them out and have them start high school and middle school in the public school system this fall?

Pros For Staying in Private

Excellent education
Uniforms
All their friends are there
High Christian and Moral values
Convenient

Cons For Staying Private
Expensive

Pros For Going Public
Great Tennis team (both girls play)
Prom and dances
Good education
Free

Cons For Going Public
No friends
The "real" world
Christian values are not a priority
20 miles round trip a day - to/ from and to/from...

Another thing that I have to do - for whatever reason our neighborhood tract goes to a different city school district - and it is awful..... So in order for my kids to go to the school they should be going to - they have to take Japanese - yep, you read that right!!!! I'm trying to figure out if that is a pro or con for public....

What would you do?


Public



Private

My Kid Is Going To College....

So Sunday morning I had a major eye opening experience. My friends shared that their high school senior was accepted to California Baptist University for the coming Fall.... WOW that's great I said - well, he (the son) has been telling everyone that he is going...but the tuition is about $40,000 a year and freshmen have to live on campus so that's an added expense..... So unless he can get some good scholarship and grant money - it might not happen... I had no idea that college tuition had jumped so high.... Another parent chimed in and said that even the state schools are around $20K a year....

What freaked me out was that my daughter is very interested in attending Cal Baptist and she will be starting high school next year - How did my baby go from preschool to high school? Tomorrow she will be getting her college acceptance letters... and I am soooo not ready!!! We have been savings since she was born which is good but $40,000 a freaking a year.... So I went on line to see what tuition really is today...

The main criteria in choosing an university is the academics and the location... My girls and my husband and I want them to have the whole "college experience" by going away to school - but hopefully close enough to come home when they want to...

UC Santa Barbara $24,842 - includes tuition and room and board (in state fees)

UC San Diego $25,515 - includes tuition and room and board ( in state fees)

San Diego State $18,994 includes tuition and room and board (in state fees)

Cal Poly San Luis Obispo $18,683 includes tuition and room and board (in state fees)

Although expensive - much better than I originally thought... So I have four (4) years to help my oldest get ready for college.... get ready to become an adult.... get ready to leave the nest... and I know when the time comes I will so not be ready to let her go....