Thank You, Diane

The last time I spoke with Diane was a little over four (4) years ago.... She came over to my house to play cards. She was full of laughter and natural charm.... She told me she was going out of town for awhile - I asked her where and she told me Afghanistan.... My first reaction was Huh? - I had no idea she was in the military.... She was in the National Guard and her name was drawn - it was her turn to go..... She was nervous of course.... but she was also excited to go.... You see, Diane believed in our country.... She believed in Freedom... We hugged and I said I'll see you soon.....

About a year after she left - she came home with a broken leg... She had been in a helicopter that was hit by a sniper.... The helicopter crashed with over 25 other men and women.... Diane survived that crash because a Marine covered her body with his.... She lived.... He did not.... Diane was not the same girl that left... The laughter was gone.... I watched Diane from a distance - I could not get closer - I would if I had the opportunity - but I was close enough to see the sadness in her eyes... A hero died so that she could live.....

I heard through the grapevine that she still believes in our country.... she is still fighting the fight. When her leg was healed she headed back to Afghanistan - she had a job to finish.... She had the option to stay here where it's safe but she chose to go.... I don't know where Diane is today - I have not seen her - is she there? is she here? I have no idea - but I want to thank her next time I see her.... Because of men and women like Diane - we have our Freedom... She is my hero.... All the men and women who protect and serve our country our heroes....

The Best Commercial..

Dad and Daughters Day At Disneyland

Today my husband took the kids to Disneyland sans mom (me). As you know, we have season passes (the girls and I) and we go all the time.... Lately, I have been having some "girly" medical problems that makes it difficult to leave the home for longer than a few hours - right now - let's make it an hour..... Oh how I long to be with my family....... My husband does not have a pass - when the girls and I took my niece a few weeks ago - I bought the California 2 days - 2 park hopper... So we could have a family fun-filled day with the husband.....

So Hub wanted to surprise the girls - he is the kind of guy that wants to start things first thing in the morning - be at the gate when it opens and run to all the "big" rides... So at 7:15 AM - I hear whining coming from the teen's room - "I don't want to get up.... I'm tired... I don't want to go anywhere.. Disneyland? ... I don't wanna go.... I'm sleepy" My husband is now feeling kinda hurt... Now he's not giving her a choice - "get up..." He had prepared their favorite cinnamon rolls to surprise them too... Neither one of the kids was gracious....

The youngest comes to me complaining that she wanted her friend Emily to come over and play - they had "made plans" - now the youngest who I thought would be all fired up to go with Daddy is coming to me complaining... Saying things like Daddy is going to want to run to all the rides... he's going to make us share a snack (so do I).. I don't want to go.. and the crocodile tears start to flow - I know they're fake for the fact that she squeezes her eyes really tight in hopes of trying to get a tear or two...

I received a text a little while ago - before 10:30 AM - they have been on Space Mountain, Matterhorn, Haunted Mansion, Pirates of Caribbean, and Thunder Mountain - and they were heading over to California Adventure.... the kids are having a good time.... I think.. At the pace they are going - they'll be home a little after lunch!

I think because the girls and I do many things together and I am always there - they have a tendency to not want to be with their dad as much... It's sad really and I don't know how to get them fired up... how to get the hub to lighten up and slow down.... I cannot fix it - it's up to them to work it out.... I know there has to be some give and take...... some sacrifices at times... My husband has to understand that the girls are only with us for such a short time - we need to slow down... soak it in... enjoy every moment and not treat everything like it's a race... My girls need to know that their dad loves them more than anything on this Earth.... He wants only the best for them.... He wants to spend time with them.

So I am hoping... praying that today ends as a successful daughters/dad day... and good memories were made...

I Love Vampires

Okay - I am going to make a confession.... I love Vampires... I know crazy, isn't it? Here I am a 44 year old mother of two - a member of the leadership team at my very conservative Southern Baptist church... and here I stand confessing that I love Vampires... I don't care for the ugly vampires of old.... Only the good looking ones... or sexy ones in a sick sort of way.... Picture Brad Pitt in Interview with the Vampire - or Keifer Sutherland in The Lost Boys Or the really evil vampire in John Carpenter's Vampires

My first taste of my obsession was when I was young and George Hamilton played a vampire in Love at First Bite .... When he started dancing with Susan Saint James - to I love the night life - I love to boogie..... Are you getting any flashbacks with that? I'm telling you - I'm a nut.... I also love to read romantic suspense novels with vampires in them. My favorite books in this genre are from author Shannon Drake - they are both entertaining, romantic, and suspenseful. The first book in the series is Beneath A Blood Red Moon (Zebra romantic suspense) and the ones that follow are: When Darkness Falls, Deep Midnight, and a few more - you gotta check them out.. seriously... I won't tell anyone...

What my husband really finds amusing in my love for Buffy The Vampire Slayer - I own the entire series.... My teen is also a major fan - I know.... I'm a bad mom... but there's censorship and then there's CENSORSHIP... I think you know what I mean.. I also like supernatural - Kay Hooper and all the books that have the psychic FBI team created by super psychic FBI agent Noah Bishop.... I'm warning you if you start reading you WILL be hooked. Stealing Shadows (Shadows Trilogy), Hiding in the Shadows (Shadows Trilogy) and Out of the Shadows (Shadows Trilogy). This is the first 3 book series but she has a few series after this that include some of the same characters and new ones too...

What's Your Secret (not-so secret) obsession?

Love at First Bite - I Love The Night Life

Something To Think About..

The other day I was complaining to my husband about the emails I get from some friends. You know the kind that has a heartwarming video that lasts FOREVER.... or the read this and pass it on to 100 friends and your dreams will come true... and of course the gazillion jokes... To be honest - I usually delete the forwarded emails and videos before reading them.... I JUST DON'T HAVE THE TIME.... The same thing with Face Book - I love to connect with friends old and new but I refuse to accept the applications - the Farmville, the Mafia Squad, the eggs, the save the planet, and hugs.. and poke - What is that- anyway? I discreetly delete and go my way....

Today - I received an email -this time from my husband and of course I HAD TO OPEN THIS ONE.... Dusty's quick heading was "Something to think about"

This explains why we forward jokes:

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery,
when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.
After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.
When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side. When he was close enough, he called out, 'Excuse me, where are we?' 'This is Heaven, sir,' the man answered. 'Wow! Would you happen to have some water?' the man asked. Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up. 'The man gestured, and the gate began to open. 'Can my friend,' gesturing toward his dog, 'come in, too?' the traveler asked. 'I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets.' The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog. After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill,
he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book. 'Excuse me!' he called to the man. 'Do you have any water?' 'Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in.' 'How about my friend here?' the traveler gestured to the dog..
'There should be a bowl by the pump.' They went through the gate, and sure enough,
there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog.... When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree. 'What do you call this place?' the traveler asked. 'This is Heaven,' he answered. 'Well, that's confusing,' the traveler said. 'The man down the road said that was Heaven, too.' 'Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell.' 'Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?'
'No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind.'
Soooo...

Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to us without writing a word.... Maybe this will explain. When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do? You forward jokes. When you have nothing to say, but just want to keep in contact, you forward jokes. When you have something to say, but don't know what, and don't know how, you forward jokes. Also to let you know that you are still remembered, you are still important, you are still loved, you are still cared for, guess what you get? A forwarded joke. So, next time if you get a joke, don't think that you've been sent just another forwarded joke, but that you've been thought of today, and your friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile.

You are all welcome @ my water bowl anytime!

Okay - definitely something to think about when I hit the delete button.... I'm just saying...

Pro-Life Is Also A Choice -

Okay - I am going to get on my soapbox and I am NOT going to be politically correct...

Tim Tebow will be in a Super Bowl commercial about pro-life - This is a simply a commercial talking about his mom's choice to maintain her risky pregnancy - she chose to give life to her son... Tim Tebow - a young man that I admire... A young man - who is not afraid to reach the unreached... A young man who has gained the respect of all that know him - A young man who won the Heisman Trophy in his sophomore year of college.. A young man that - I believe is so transparent - that he amazes me...

I do NOT understand why some women groups get so upset when pro-life is discussed.... Why is the idea of choosing to give birth to a child so offensive to them? What is so wrong? Obviously, their mother chose to give life to them.... was that bad?

Pro Choice - is a choice..... Pro Choice does NOT mean to abort a child... It means - Women have a choice..... A choice to give life..... A choice to bless a family with a child.... A choice to love another human being... I believe these women groups should embrace this commercial because if there was not a choice - this commercial would not exist.... This commercial is promoting that there are options... and life for an unborn child is also a choice....

The Best Christmas Present Ever

The best presents are the presents that are from the heart... They cannot be bought with money... Last Christmas, my mom asked me what I would like for Christmas... She asked me if there was anything she had that I would want.... I think she may have thought I would ask for a piece of jewelry... or a collector's plate... or something else that had monetary value.... but none of those things came to mind.... The only thing I could think of was a picture... A picture of her and my dad when they were dating... She was 15 and he was 20... I have always thought my mom was so beautiful in this picture and my dad was kind of a hottie..... She had this picture in a picture collage and I have always loved it..... Now I have it on my bookcase for all to see...

Isn't she beautiful?

A Real Housewife Is Down and Dirty

I was talking to a friend of mine today about his addiction to "The Real Housewives of Orange County" This led to the conversation about what is a REAL honest to goodness housewife...

On the "Real Housewives of Orange County" they make a mockery of women in Orange County - I live in Orange County and I personally do not know one friend that has 2 nannies and a housekeeper to help with her three (3) children..... Nor have I ever attended a Botox party - and (I can honestly say - I never will) I don't work out everyday - many days I don't wear make up.... I don't have a personal trainer..... Never had an affair.... and I have never had plastic surgery...

I believe I am the typical and REAL Orange county housewife.... I am usually wearing something comfortable..... I have hundreds of balls in the air at any given time... My husband, my children, and my God come first.... You'll see me juggling a career - paying the bills, taking the kids to school - sports - friends homes - making dinner - cleaning the house and trying so hard to have quality time with the husband....

A typical housewife - loves her family.... her friends... Her main concern is providing a loving and healthy home for her family..... being a friend... helpmate... and lover to her husband... A role model, mother, and someone her kids can trust. A "Real" housewife is real - down and dirty real.... has your hair in a ponytail - breaks your fingernail - screaming lunatic (at times) real....

So my dear fellow "women" blogger friends - I bet if you look in the mirror - you will see a Real Housewife too..... Here's to the REAL women of the World..... The Real Down and Dirty Housewife......

These women are NOT the typical housewife.... funny..

We Are Not In California Anymore...

In the 44 years (my entire life) I have lived in Sunny Southern California, I have never seen weather like this.... I live in a part of the state that if there are a few sprinkles on the ground the news declares it an emergency and the headlines read "Storm Watch"...

Last week we were warned of severe weather conditions - and like most Southern Californians - I chose to not pay attention - due to the past drama - how many times can a person here "Storm Watch" only to see my lawn get a few drops??? Well, I should have listened.... Not only are we having cloud bursts like I have never seen or heard before - we are having tornadoes - serious Dorthy go get your ruby shoes tornadoes.

Several schools in our area were on lock down due to the tornado watch - this is so NOT California!!!

The other day - I was in the backyard in the pouring rain sweeping out the drains because debris had clogged them and my backyard was becoming a lake... Thankfully - the mission was a success but my feet stayed cold for hours afterwards..... Note to self - Do not wear flip flops in the rain.....

Huntington Beach Pier - I eat at that restaurant often.


My sister, Debbie took this around the corner from her home.



This is very close to my home.... Maybe I should move to Kansas?

The Queen of Excuses

My teen has become the 'The Queen of Excuses" and it is driving me INSANE.... I can never get a straight answer - But I will get a full on dialog of things that have nothing whatsoever to do with what I am asking...

Example:

Me: "Is your room picked up?

Nikki: "I have a power point presentation due"

Me: "Is your room picked up?"

Nikki: "I have to wash my hair....again"

Me: "Is your room picked up?"

Nikki: "Maybe..."

Me: "Is your room picked up? Answer my question, please"

Nikki: "Sort of..."

Me: "Yes or No?

Nikki: "I have a power point presentation due (next month), I have to wash my hair, and my favorite show is on..."

Me: "Clean your room now"

Nikki: " I have a power point presentation due, I have to wash my hair, wash my face, get my clothes ready for tomorrow, and my favorite show is on...."

Me: "Clean it now!"

Nikki: "Yes, mom..."

This example is not even the tip of the iceberg but I think you get the idea......

Proving I Am Right To My Kid...

I miss the days when my kids believed that I had all the answers..... My wisdom was never questioned... I was Mom and Mom knew it all and if she did not - Dad did... Sometimes - my answers could be so vague and that was okay - Mom spoke and there you have it...

Today - Mom and Dad know NOTHING.. We are not even remotely close to knowing anything.. We are prehistoric creatures that have no concept of today's music.... today's movies.... today's anything.... We are ancient relics to be humored.... to have eyes rolled at...

Today we were driving home from church and my eldest started talking about the different things her friends say at school... Everything that is uttered by her 13 and 14 year old friends is always true and because I have no concept of the "real world" her friends are right and I am wrong.... I often hear things like -well so and so said it and I have no reason not to believe that her parents let her stay out till the wee hours of the morning... Well - I know for a fact that so and so did it (something so bizarre and impossible- I can't remember what it was) - I ask her how she knows for a fact - well my kid answer by saying .. so and so told me.. and I have no reason not to believe her.. Are you seeing a pattern here?

In the car I asked my kid point blank - "Do I have to prove to you that I am right for you to believe me? Or will you take my word for it because I have been around for some time? She told me that she believed I was wrong and in order for her to believe me I had to prove it...... Yes, I know I was playing into the game and it should have ended there... but oh no... I had to prove that Mom still has it.... Thank God for Google...

Following The Leader

I remember when I was a child - one of the most fun games to play was follow the leader.... One child would run, hop, skip... clapping their hands - flapping their arms.... or some other silly motion... and several children would follow and imitate... We were encouraged to play this game.... at school... at Sunday school... in our own backyards.. at friends' homes It was a game that we all took turns being the leader and everyone had a good time...

As the years go by and the teenage years approach - there is a new follow the leader game... it's not much fun - there is usually a couple of leaders... and not everyone takes a turn.... Instead of running around with your hands in the air and with joyous smiles.... you will see teens doing things that are not encouraged by the schools... Sunday school....any backyard... but may be encouraged at a "friend's" home...

I thought in my naivety that sending my children to a Christian school would shelter them from the world.... Shelter them from a world where young girls get drunk.... have sex... do drugs.... I thought in my naivety that families who have their children go to a Christian school would live their lives as (in my mind) Christians do.... Have higher morals geared towards raising our children in way that is respectful.... in a way that is honest... in a way that wants to do right.....

It is very discouraging to me when my kid thinks the sneaky kids are cool... They are the leaders... and what also is sad to me is that these kids are the popular ones.... They are the ones whose parents allow them to hang out in front of 7-11 asking strangers for money... they are the ones whose parent drops them off at a youth group event to only sneak across the street to make out.... get high.... get drunk.... I'm wondering why....how these parents don't realize that their 13 year old child sitting next to them is stoned.... reeking of smoke... reeking of booze..

I am thankful that both of my girls want to do the right thing... I know that the other kids look glamorous to them... but I also know that God is working in my girls.... I am hoping that my kids will be the example the "popular" girls need to see... A kid who is comfortable in her own skin.... who has a love for life without artificial enhancers.. I am blessed to be the mother to two incredible young ladies. Two young ladies that every so often give me a glimpse of the encouraging and beautiful women they will be..... The leaders that will be a blessing to others.

Disneyland Update

Well as many of you know - last Saturday we took my niece to Disneyland.... I was so excited to introduce her to the magical world of Disney..... It turned out to be a great day! We left the house around 8 AM - we were able to go on every ride that we wanted with a very little wait... She was acting like such a princess that I just had to buy her the Cinderella dress from Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique... We had a great time - she was happy - not one over stimulated break down - there were kids all around us having those but not my niece she was all smiles and ready for the next adventure.. This was a trip for all of us to remember.... beautiful weather, not crowded - the perfect day.

Meeting Minnie



Meeting an Incredible



Getting Ready To See The Muppets In 3D



My Favorite - She Is Waving To The Characters In It's A Small World - Love the innocence.

I Choose To Love

Have you ever heard people say that the way to love someone is show them the love they give to you.... In other words, loved ones give love the way they want it received.. Several years ago I read the book the Languages of Love and it opened my eyes to the fact that how I respond to love is much different than the way Dusty (my husband) does... The book tells us in order to show love better is to discover our spouse's "love language" and love them they way they see love... Well, if any of you read my blogs in the beginning of the year - you would know that Dusty and I are polar opposites.... but someway in the middle of our differences we found love.....

In the beginning of this year - I embarked on a journey to fall in love with my husband again.... After 20 years of marriage - I truly believed that I hated him.... I believed that there was no way that we could stay together.... I had had it.... But divorcing and breaking up my family did not feel right to me.... I had already hired the attorney... I had already had Dusty served with papers.... I had thought I had given up... but God would not let me... I felt compelled to read The Love Dare - the book from the movie Fireproof.... I gave myself forty (40) days to love.... I think it only took me half the time... it took Dusty a longer time....

It is easy to fall back into bad habits when it comes to loving someone... Stress can bring out the worst in me... Stress comes in so many forms lately...Running a business, being a mom, and wife can be stressful... Worry is a big stress factor right now... There are things going on with my body that give me pause - knowing a surgery is something that will no longer be an option but a necessity and I hate that.... I hate not being able to do all the things I need to... I hate having to depend on someone.... and because of the this stress I have lashed out at the most important person in my life.... my husband, Dusty.... There are so many times I want to apologize and say - I am sorry.... I was wrong... But my ugly stupid pride prevents me from uttering the words that he longs to hear...

Today, I just needed to step back and realize that I am messing up.... again. I am not giving Dusty the love and attention he rightfully deserves... he's a very good man and I have been treating him so bad lately... He has been a great help around the home - especially with my back causing so much pain - he has really stepped up to the plate... And all Dusty wants is for me to see what he does and say, "Thank you".... How hard is that? Sometimes in the midst of things - I make it difficult - isn't that crazy?

Today, I have gone back to The Love Dare and my Bible... Reminding myself - how God wants me to love my husband.... I learned in the beginning of the year that when you show love... and act in love.. You are in love... So, today - I am loving Dusty... I am not going to mess it up.... not today....

"The wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield." James 3:17

Bye Bye Jay Leno Show

When Jay Leno "retired" from the 'Tonight Show' and took a new gig at 10Pm - I told my husband there is no way that this is going to work.... it just did not make sense.... I had no desire to watch Jay at 10 - I would watch him after the news if I was still up but not at 10 when there so many other interesting things on.... The few times I flipped through the channels and saw The Jay Leno Show - I had to laugh - it was the Tonight Show..... funny - can the guy find something more original to do?

I guess the story is that NBC told Jay they would pay him "x" amount to stay on the Tonight Show until 2009 and then he had to "retire". NBC execs were afraid to lose Conan to another network - so the story goes.... give Conan the Tonight Show in 2009 and give Jay Leno is own show a little later...

Today, NBC officials have confirmed that The Jay Leno show has been canceled - the rumor is that they may want Jay to go back into the 11:35 slot due to Conan not delivering as promised... time will only tell.... Personally, I think we all need another Law and Order Show....

To be perfectly honest - since Johnny Carson left the show - I really have not been a fan of the big chin man - he can be funny but he is NO Johnny.... sad to think that John and Ed are no longer here on Earth....

I'm Taking My Niece To Disneyland

It's been a while since I've had a four (4) year old sleep in my home..... It's been a while since I've had to put things up... said "no, don't touch" and worry of a possible night time accident.... It's been a while since I've seen through the magical eyes of a four (4) year old.... and I can't wait!

For a Christmas present to my young niece - we (my girls and I) are taking her for a sleep over and a full day of Disneyland.... It's all about my niece day..... We have it all planned out to where we are going to go first...

We are going to start in Tomorrow Land at autopia then to Buzz Lightyear... Then it's off to sing "It's a small world" from there we are going to visit Mickey and Minnie at their homes and take a ride on the Toon Town express roller coaster..... Oh, I can't forget the Mattorhorn - there is no height limit and that's a great ride.... Then the Dumbo ride so that she can fly in the sky.... and off to sing yo ho yo ho a pirate's life for me... I'm bummed that the Haunted Mansion is closed for holiday decorations removal... After Pirate's it'll be time for lunch...

From Disneyland we travel over to California Adventure to watch Disney's Aladdin - A Musical Spectacular. I have seen this show and it is incredible..... The music - the comedy - and the magic carpet riding above your head.... My niece is going to love it. And if we have time and she is not wiped out - we'll go catch a bug or two....

Can you tell I'm excited?

Not If We Get Cancer.... But When?

As many of you know- my dad died a year ago last summer. He died from heart disease caused from a life long habit of smoking - the start of his illness was cancer - tongue cancer. The cancer became so bad that his entire tongue was removed.... Directly after his surgery he developed congestive heart failure - had a heart attack or two - and had a stroke or some doctors thought - basically he became a medical mess.....

I was talking to my Uncle Kenny the other day (my dad's older brother) and he told me that he had prostate cancer - Uncle Kenny did not seem too concerned - it was more of a nuisance to him then anything else -but the comment he made was disturbing.... He said that everyone in our family has either died from cancer or had cancer and beat it - in our family it's not a matter of "if" you get cancer.... it's a matter of "when" you get cancer..... That comment is very true... Both his parents died from cancer, brothers, and sisters with cancer..... I have had first and second cousins who have died from cancer and I have had precancerous colon polyps and vaginal precancerous growths... I am thankful that we have been proactive in our medical care.. My family and I take our health seriously.... we have too...

As many of you are aware if you read any of my blogs you would know that I do not agree with Obama's health care reform - I have read several of the guidelines.... and it truly does not sound good to me... I think Australia has a good public health care program and they are the exception to the the rule.... again this is my opinion - I don't like the HMO system either - thankfully I have not had to use it - but I have watched my sister deal with her MS for over twenty years - being shuffled through the HMO maze - doctor after doctor - authorization after authorization - one doctor does not know what the other doctor is doing.... Twenty years for the HMO doctors to get a clue.. and still no results.... Thankfully, an ER doctor found my sister's brain tumor - he wasn't a HMO doctor.... today, she is tumor free and is healing well...

One of the clues to me that Obama's health care reform will probably pass is the new guidelines for mammograms - stating that women should start at 50 years old and not 40.... and pap smears only need to be done every few years.... I'm thinking the government is preparing the way for cheaper medical costs....

In November The U.S. Preventive Services Task Force came out with new guidelines for breast cancer detection in women over 50. The guidelines from this government task force states that women should start getting mammograms at age 50, not 40 as recommended before. And that women should NOT conduct self exams until age 50. What the task force neglected to release is that Utah already follows these guidelines and Utah has the highest percentage of undetected and confirmed diagnosed breast cancer in the country....

What is strange to me is how the Task force could give these recommendations.... seriously... I know many many women who have had breast cancer and most of them were under 50.....I will go out a tree limb and say this..... I bet you that the Task force members and our politicians would not wait till their 50........ What do you think?

I don't know how true this video is - but it seems pretty accurate to me.. and a little funny..

What Really Happened Was....

Sometimes you have to count to ten (10) and then count to ten (10) again. I am a big believer in allowing my children to learn from their mistakes.... I believe they should fight and/or negotiate their own battles - to a point. But when I come to my kid's school to pick her up and her eye is red and swollen because some girl hit her.... my mama bear claws flare out!

I tried to be the grown up and be rationale so I asked her what happened.... I tried to use the matter of fact tone so not to cause undue stress, drama, whatever... She said that she went up to her friend and "lightly" pushed her on the shoulder like they do every day - usually the friend would push back - they would laugh and they would go on their merry way.... Well, today - the friend must have had a bad day because instead of pushing "lightly" back the girl started hitting my kid with her jacket sleeve over and over again - so much so that my kid will wake up with a black eye in the morning....

Okay - I am trying to be mom detective - is this serious? Do I need to notify the school? As I was trying to make the wise and mature adult decision - one of my kid's friends came up and asked why the other friend was slapping her over and over again while my kid kept saying stop.... My first thought was why didn't my kid haul off and pound on the assailant ... but you know - I couldn't say that one... So I decided to go to the Principal's office. I had my kid explain to him what happened - but my kid's story changed slightly from it's a huge deal and the friend said she was happy she hurt my kid - to we are friends and I don't think she really meant to hurt me...

So here I am not knowing what to think.. geez preteen drama....... I don't remember being like this - but I am guessing my older sisters and mom would assure me I was..... and by the way - the Principal is having a sit down with both girls tomorrow - even in fun, drama, and anger - you should never never hit - unless you are defending yourself.... at least that's my take...

What do you think?

Perfect Is No Longer Good Enough

When I was in school the highest GPA you could achieve was a 4.0. Today, the perfect grade is no longer perfect - there other factors involved - college credit courses for higher grades - extra academic requirements to achieve a higher score... Honors classes - I'm not sure what the highest GPA is now - I think it may be 4.3? Maybe 5.0 in some schools - do you know?

When I was in elementary and junior high school - I don't remember that much homework - I really don't remember any in elementary except for the occasional book report or class project.... Today - kindergartners are getting in upwards of 1-2 hours of homework - seriously... this is crazy. Not only is there a ton of homework - the studies in my opinion are much more in depth... much more difficult.. and expectations are much more higher....

My kids have been in the private school arena and next year they will be going to public schools. My main concern is that the lack of funding in the public schools may hinder my kids.... other kids from achieving their goals... Granted I am not knowledgeable about the public school system except for what I hear in the news.. I hope that my kids will continue to prosper...

The other concern I have is the competition to get into a good college... Because of the budget cuts in California - and I am guessing everywhere - there are less students being admitted - tuition costs are higher and the competition is fierce - a 4.0 student with high SAT scores may not get into the university of their choice - there are students that have gone beyond the "perfect" score and graduated high school with a 4.3 and received high SAT scores..

The time for being a kid in school and enjoying yourself is long gone.... Not only does the child have to have excellent grades, they have to have an incredible amount of community hours, and other extra curricular activities... My oldest starts high school this fall and is already starting to stress out - her dream is to go to a University in a different state to experience the whole "college life" and I support that - but she is going to have to go beyond the norm..... and reach for beyond perfect..... it's tough being a kid today...

Men and Women Are Just Different

Today I got into a disagreement with my husband - a loud disagreement... Okay loud on my side - quiet anger on his... things were said that should not have been said - again on my side... Because my husband is a man of little emotion - I sometimes find myself saying or doing things just to get some kind of reaction... A reaction to show me that yes he is listening to me... yes that he cares..... I know that I am not alone in feeling this way - men and women are just different.... Dusty and I are different - very different... God created us this way and sometimes I wonder what God was thinking... I know His plan is perfect... but some insight at times would be nice....

In many ways Dusty and I compliment each other... Dusty is an excellent provider and motivator - he makes it possible for our family to live a nice and comfortable lifestyle and he keeps me from being completely lazy... I on the other hand can put together any technical object - from computers to DVD connections - to figuring out why something is not working - this task drives Dusty insane - he doe not have the patience for these kind of things... Dusty needs someone to take care of him and I am good at that... Most times I want too... but not today. Today, I am in a lot of pain - sore back... but it is very hard for Dusty to understand the pain due to the fact that I still went grocery shopping - I still took the kids to Disneyland yesterday - I still do things that people who are in pain just don't do.... I do these things because I am a mom.... a wife.. and if I don't do it - who will? So when I was putting away the groceries today - I was so angry to see my husband sitting on the couch watching TV - not bothering to get up and help... thus the loud yelling from me... "Don't you see I am hurting?" "Why can't you just be there for me?" and so the tirade went - Dusty looked at me like a deer caught in the headlights..... I am guessing he was wondering WTF happened??

This is a perfect example of the way men and women communicate.... at least the way we don't communicate... I'm thinking - isn't it obvious that I hurt.... why isn't he jumping up to assist??? Dusty is thinking - well she went to Disneyland and grocery shopping so she must be okay and if she isn't okay - she'll ask for help.... I expected him to read my mind.... he expected me to ask for help if I needed it.... after 20 years of marriage - you would think he would learn my non-verbal communication skills.... or maybe I could just ask for help.......