Black Widows and Alligator Lizards.. oh my

Last night I had my youngest throw out the trash - it was around 9:00 pm. The temperature outside was still hot - at least 80 degrees or higher... anyway - after Kara threw out the trash - she told me that she saw four (4) Black Widow spiders on the way from our back door and to the trashcan and back.... Mind you our lot is only 6000 square feet and the distance to the trash is about 30 steps each way... So of course - I assumed she was exaggerating as I often do... So I asked her to tell me where they were...
The first one is right outside the backdoor - right there.. I looked and the spider was there - but it was not the midnight black - so I looked closer and closer and sure enough hello red hour glass - so I zapped it....

The second one and the third one and the fourth one were all over the pool equipment - 2 huge black shiny ones and another light one but they all had the hour glasses...

My husband Dusty decided to go on a Black Widow expedition and he found eight (8) more spiders - all with the hourglass right on the bellies..



So today - I am working in my office and I hear my dog playing - the kids were at tennis.. the husband was at work.. so I went to go investigate.... Charlie my dog was playing with a baby alligator lizard that decided to come into my house today - thankfully the lizard is fine.. Several years ago - at least 15 years - Dusty found an alligator lizard down the street - caught it and put into our backyard... about six (6) months later he found another alligator lizard at the golf course and put in our backyard.... a few years later - I ran across a huge nest of alligator lizards in our yard and the rest is history.... We have not seen one in a year or so... so Dusty was very happy that one decided to come for a visit....



This summer heat is bring out the ants, the spiders, the lizards, and the very noisy crickets.... I am ready for Winter.......

Kidnap Victim Found After 18 Years..

In 1991 - Eleven year old Jaycee Dugard was on her way to school in South Lake Tahoe... While she was waiting at the bus stop convicted rapist Phillip Garrido kidnapped her. Eighteen years later, Jaycee Dugard walked into a Northern California police station after police spotted Garrido with two (2)young children - He was ordered to report to a parole officer - Garrido, his wife,Nancy, Jaycee, and the two young children came to the police station - where Jaycee's identity was discovered.. Jaycee later spoke with her mother, who had to be convinced it was not a hoax call...

For the past eighteen years, Jaycee Dugard has been living in Antioch, California - confined to a series of sheds and tents in the backyard of her captors home.... She has been held captive by Phillip Garrido and his wife Nancy Garrido as their personal sex slave and various other awful things. Jaycee has given birth to two (2) children - fathered by Phillip Garrido..

In 2006, a neighbor reported a backyard encampment at the home of Garrido but the investigating officer dismissed it as a routine code violation. The officer did not bother to look up who the property belong too - if he had bothered he would have discovered that Garrido was a registered sex offender and might have found Jaycee in the secret encampment where she has been held for the past 18 years!!! If only he had bothered to look! The sheriff - Warren E Rupf, acknowledges they messed up....




The yard Jaycee lived in for 18 years

Phillip and Nancy Garrido have been arrested -



Jaycee has been reunited with her family after 18 years..... She is 29 years old today..

Elizabeth Smart's father was recently interviewed about this kidnapping and was greatly offended by the media... the media is trying to turn it into a case of Stockholm Syndrome that the victim gains feeling of love for their captor..... "The victim knows what these monsters are capable of - they were kidnapped.... they are just trying to survive."

This story breaks my heart - this is every parents' nightmare..... I pray that Jaycee will be able to find some normalcy.. to find happiness once again...

Because I Wanted It....

There has been a continuous theme to my blogs lately - it has been the challenges I am facing with my thirteen year old... I just don't get it.... Have I been too lenient? Not consistent enough? Have I spoiled her too much? Do I not spend enough time and attention on her? Is it her age? Her hormones? My hormones? Do I need to be more hard nosed?

This morning - I was going through my DVD library - getting rid of things we no longer want or need. There was a movie 3 pack with: Something about Mary, Shallow Hal, and The Girl Next Door all three (3) movies are "R" rated movies - it was a white elephant gift I received last year at a Christmas party we attended - The movies were never watched... I noticed that when I opened the case - the movies were missing.... My daughter saw the movies on the shelf last week and asked if she could watch them... I said no because they were "R" rated.... Unknown to me at the time - when my back was turned she took the movies and left the case in the shelf...

This summer's theme has been - "Can I eat my lunch and dinner upstairs in the game room so I can watch TV? Hurry up - I have a show on and I don't want to miss it... Please don't make me go to bed at midnight - there's a movie I want to watch... I just want to watch my show.... No, I don't want to have family game night - I have a TV show I really really want to watch.. No, I don't want to go swim, play outside, or anything else because I have a TV show I want to watch.. I'm bored there's nothing on TV to watch.." Many times, I have caught my kid watching her TV very late at night.... "But I can't sleep...." she whines.. I still require the TV off - last night after I caught her at 1:00 am with the TV on and told her to turn it off, I went to go kiss the youngest before I went to bed - as I was walking in my youngest daughter's room - I see the TV pop on via the mirror in the girls' bathroom that was pointing into my eldest daughter's room (they share a Jack and Jill bathroom)... I walk into my eldest daughter's room and she jumps about 10 feet off the bed and her earplug falls out of her ear... obviously this is NOT the first time she has done this... she has the sneakiness mastered.... I took the earplugs away.. and went to bed..

So back to me going through my DVD library and noticing the movies missing... my kid is still asleep and I walk into her room - push her DVD player button and out pops the movie... She wakes up in the middle of this - I looked at her and said, "Did I not tell you that you could not watch this movie? Her, "Yes" Me, "So why do you have it? Her, "Because I wanted to watch it"

"Because I wanted.... has become the excuse for her of late for all the rules she has broken... I have lost count on the times I have heard this excuse this summer... My patience is at a All Time Low.... Drastic measures must be taken because my "No" has become her "Because I want it and I will do it behind mom and dad's back" This behavior has to stop.... before the "I want it and I will do it behind mom and dad's back" becomes more serious....

So today this is what I have done..... I took out her TV - and advised her she no longer has the privilege of watching TV in her room or in the game room. The only time she can watch TV is when I am watching it and I allow her.... (I am not a TV fan)

To keep her idle hands busy - she is cleaning the entire house -downstairs kitchen, family room, living room - vacuum stairs, the game room, all the bathrooms, and her bedroom. She must write/type a five (5) page essay on Obeying and honoring Her Parents, Making good choices, and what is right and wrong - she must pull Bible verses to support her essay... In addition to the essay - I want her to spend time outside in the backyard swimming or just sitting I don't care - I just want her out of the HOUSE....

So, my friends... my question is this.... "What would you do? Constructive Advise would be happily accepted....

Do Not Ask Me To Buy Anything!

The other day - I was at Target with my girls.. Before we left home I advised both girls that if they want to come with me they cannot ask for anything... My kids have enough junk - both good and bad and I was on my way to grocery shop not kid shop. Both girls agreed and we took off. Before we got out of the car in the parking lot - I once again advise the girls ' DO NOT ASK FOR ANYTHING....... Once again the girls agreed...

We were not in the store two (2) minutes before my eldest asked for something - another purse to add to her collection of five (5) perfectly fine purses she already has... I gave her the "be quiet" look.... She chose to ignore that look.. then I hear the P L E A S EEEEEEEEEE and I said "no" - she says she'll pay for it.... I ask her with what money - she already spent her allowance and the next two weeks allowance on other things she "really needed" Then the whining starts and the pleasseee keeps going... I head for the door - the kids quickly follow. They know I am beyond mad - my thirteen year old practically threw a three (3) year old fit for a purse... I tell both of them that we are going home.... then I proceed to lecture my eldest as we are walking to the the car.... how I told her not to ask.... How she tries to spend money she does not have.... How embarrassed she must feel for causing a scene... blah blah blah....

Then I hear a voice behind me..... "I think she understands...." I turn around and there was an elderly woman... This lady says "I think she understands.. that you are mad... How many ways do you think you have to tell her?" I had no idea what to say this this woman - who I had never seen before..... Bud out? Who do you think you are? Thank you? Nosy much? I just looked at her - and turned around.... but she made me think....

How many times does it take for a thirteen year old to hear me? When will my daughter understand the concept of money? When will she learn that she cannot take or have something just because she wants it? How often do I lecture her? How loud am I when I Lecture her? Does she tune out the lecturing? Am I doing it right? Am I doing it wrong?

So I took the kids home - I got back into the car and went to Target by myself - finished the grocery shopping by myself... and I missed my kids.....

This is Way Too Funny Not To Share

This is an actual infomercial that was pulled because it was so offensive - Watching this - I about fell off my seat laughing. The infomercial is trying to sell a a deodorant spray that goes where no other spray goes....

"Aspray (yes that's the name pronounced A-Spray but that is not how I read it....) goes where other deodorants can't. Aspray your butt.. Aspray your feet, and you can even Aspray your privates..

You got to watch this.......

Funny Face - Blog Hop Tuesday

I had bought a clown makeup kit at a Halloween sale and I had a willing face - this is my youngest Kara. She's four years old here - time just flies - she is going into the 6th grade in a couple of weeks and is eleven years old.

Every time I see this picture - I just have to laugh. Kara has continued to bring laughter into our lives and blesses us each and every day.

Link up for some blog hop fun..

To Wii or Not to Wii

I have heard many things about the wii. I have personally never played one.. never seen one. Yesterday my youngest was playing at her friends house - they were on the wii for hours playing tennis... My sister loves her wii and she plays golf... I have no idea how this is possible.

We are thinking of buying a wii as a family present to us and the kids for Christmas. I have no idea if that is a good decision or not - so I am asking my blogging friends - I am sure many of you own one... What do you think?

To Wii or Not to Wii - That is the Question>>>>>>>>>

Danyl Johnson's First Audition

Danyl Johnson will soon be a household name. The teacher from out of no where blew away the judges on UK's X-Factor. Simon Cowell - the toughest judge in UK and American History said point blank. "This is the best first audition I have ever seen".... Click here to witness a new incredible singer singing The Beatles song 'With A Little Help From My Friends' I watched this clip several times and it still takes my breath away.

Tell me what you think?

Martyr Dad

Many times as a parent and as a wife - I have had to pretend that I was having a great time... Because that is what you do to make others happy.. not all the time but most of the time..... Example: I am not a big fan of golf but I have "happily" joined my husband on the course a time of two.. Why? Because he likes it.... The same goes for the golf, baseball, football, hockey, racing, and Discover Channel.... He has control over the remote and sometimes just to spend "quality" time with my spouse of 20 years - I suck it up - with a happy smile...
As a mom - pretending to have a great time is just part of the growing pains of having kids.... Don't get me wrong - I love love seeing my kids have fun - but I would not be going to Chuck E Cheese for my own enjoyment... Thank God they have both outgrown that hell hole... Sorry for the language folks but you gotta know that is my idea of hell - Chuck E Cheese and a million kids that are not my own... Get me out of here..... But of course, I did not scream - I smiled and pretended I was having a great ole time... Why? Because it made my girls happy and that makes me happy...
Last weekend we were in Las Vegas and trying desperately to find a place for the kids to have fun... the pool time was over (8 hours of pool slide bliss) The kids suggested the Excalibur - there's a Midway with carnival type games.. I personally love throwing ping pong balls into plastic dishes in a tub of water..... seriously, I do... Well Dusty (the husband) has made it perfectly clear that he does not like playing these games - You only had to look at him to know he was not having a good time.. the pained look on his face.. The "I don't want to play" comments... the eye roll when I pulled another $5 bill out of my purse.... I think every mother has seen these looks on their husband's faces a time or two....
After about a half hour of his martyrdom - I wanted to scream so instead of being lunatic mom and wife - I asked Dusty to figure out what we should do since he despised the games we were trying to play... He suggested the Luxor - he was under the impression that the kids would want to see The Body Exhibition - I was seriously wondering if he even knew his kids after that comment.. but I did not say a word.. So we walk the "not short" trek to The Luxor - we go to the very center of the pyramid - the kids get wind of Dusty's idea for The Body and I suddenly hear a high pitched chorus of "I don't want to see any dead bodies.." So I ask Dusty to figure out what we are going to do and I pop a squat on a bench - my calve muscles were killing me trying to keep up with his stride..
The girls and I are sitting on the bench... Dusty joins us on the bench.... and we sit... not saying a word..... and we sit some more....... Dusty finally says, "You want to go get dinner?" Seriously..... he asks me that.... Where I ask?... He suggests an Italian restaurant that he and I like but the kids hate... which we quickly heard protests from both of the all girls' choir of protesters..... So we walk all the way back to The Excalibur... all the way to the car at the very end of the outside parking lot... in the 107 degree heat.. We ended up at some hole in the wall that made the best Strawberry Margaritas this side of Mexico, ole........

I'm Saying Yes - Today

Many days I feel like all I do is say no.... No, you cannot stay up to 1 am - No, you cannot have popcorn for breakfast, No, I am not taking you shopping, No, you cannot buy a pay per view movie... no no no no

Today, I decided to just say yes and surprise the heck out of the kids... Mom is being nice today.....

Tomorrow, I will be back to No, No, No, No - sometimes you just got to shake things up a little....

Say No To B.O And Speedos

A couple of weeks ago - the kids and I were at California Adventure. We were having a great time on a very hot and sticky Southern California day... The lines were not too bad - but boy was it hot... My daughters and I were in line to go on California Screamin roller coaster and Kara, my youngest wanted to ride with me. If you have never been on this ride - I have to say it's a must do for the roller coaster fans out there... it's fast - not too bumpy - great loop - and just plain fun.. Anyway, Kara is sitting next to me and I leaned over to help her with the harness and I got a whiff of the most horrid BO - it was truly offensive... I'm thinking to myself there is no way that smell is coming from my kid - she's only eleven (11).... When we got off the ride - I lowered my head for a sniff and sure enough - it was her!!!!! Oh My Gosh - how can that be????? I am not the most discreet person - I told her she stunk.. She was offended for sure - but I told her I refused to ride with her again until she washed her stinky armpits!!! I know, I'm a mean and horrible mom..
We went to the bathroom and my kid is too embarrassed to have mom washing her pits.. So I get a couple of paper towels and tell her to go at it.. The dirty looks coming my way... I tell ya.. She is refusing to wash - so I again tell her she was stinky girl and there was no way.. I'm getting near her... seriously - it was that bad... We ended up going into a stall and I washed the stinky smelling pits - and she was fresh.. or at least not so ripe.... So I found it funny when I read an article today about an amusement park in the UK that introduced a new rule called, " Say no to B.O." no kidding..
Thorpe Park in the UK has seriously placed this rule.. Any time the temperature reaches 77F and above - the guests must keep their arms down on the rides at all times... I had to laugh out loud - but the most hilarious rule an UK amusement park had - was at Alton Towers - they banned Speedos from the the premises.. why? To protect the children of course........ So of course in my minds eye - I'm picturing a stinky guy in a speedo.... nothing could be worse!!!!

Mommy Ears

Yesterday there was a helicopter circling our neighborhood - in our usually quiet suburbia neighborhood... The helicopter must have been hovering for over thirty (30)minutes and Kara, my eleven year old seemed to be getting a little frightened... So I asked her if she wanted to jump in the car and investigate where the helicopter was focusing..

So we hopped into my car and drove to the supermarket parking lot where it seemed to be where the helicopter hovered the most. There was one police car talking to a man in white car... nothing else - so we decided to go through Burger King and grab a drink and head home.... We went into the back way into our neighborhood and on the street right behind us - we found the mother lode of police cars.... My kid's eyes became two huge saucers..... When we go home, I called my neighbor behind us to get the scoop.. Apparently, a man had broken out of jail about fifty (50) miles away and decided to visit our neighbor - also known as his mom - she lives in the tract behind us - a neighbor spotted him - called the police - and a chase ensued... That was all I got.

Kara was convinced this little blimp would make all the news stations and made her daddy watch all the news channels.. Which of course - nothing came on.. until 11:30 PM - there was a clip about a man escaping from jail - and that is all they caught on TV... I had no knowledge they were watching the news.

At around 12:30 AM - I headed for bed. Crazy day trying to get as much as possible done... I get into bed - snuggling deep down into my thousand count sheets ( I really love my sheets) and I was right on the verge of sleep... then my "mommy ears" heard a whimper.. I paused and held my breath so it would be easier to hear.. and then I heard another whimper... I quietly got out of bed - my eldest was busy grinding her teeth between her snores and my baby.. my eleven year old was softly crying... I asked her what was wrong... She said she had a dream that daddy found out that a bad man got out of jail and was in our house and she was scared.... It's been years since my little one needed comfort at night... I got to be honest - I loved having her come to bed with me... we snuggled - we feel asleep.... and this morning - I woke up with a foot in my ear.......!!!

Have You Ever.......?

Have you ever had to eat humble pie? You know the kind of pie - that tastes like - I flew off the handle before I learned the facts... and when the facts were discovered I learned I was wrong -really really wrong.... The kind of pie that you just don't want to eat.... It has a very bitter taste..... but you know you got to eat the entire tin..... because you need to do some humblin

Have you ever gotten angry at someone and realized you were wrong.... but your pride would hold you back from saying you are sorry.... so instead of saying you're sorry - you just stay mad... You find something else to be mad about - whether it is valid or not.....

Have you ever lost a friend or loved one because you said things that were better left unsaid.... whether they were true or not? Whether you were right or wrong....? Your pride and "I have to be right and have the last word" took over you mouth.... Did you gain anything? Did you lose something?

Have you ever been too busy pointing your finger at someones faults and never bothering to look in the mirror and see your own? Do you have higher expectations of others than you do for yourself...?

Have you ever wished that you could take back every wrong word you have said - every mean comment made? Every "I'm proving I'm right" attitude? Do you wish you could just hug all the previous words said in anger - said in haste - said in indifference out of the person you offended..

Have you ever wished that the ones you love just knew that you loved them.. regardless of the words and actions you have said and done against them..? Do you ever - skip the "I'm sorry" and pretend nothing happened???

I think everyone has done a "Have you ever?" and it is so hard to eat that humble pie.. It's sometimes so hard to say "I'm sorry" because it makes you vulnerable... it opens the door for them to lash back at you..... It shows that you can be wrong - when we always want to be right.

I have spent a lot more time with my girls this summer - staying home for the summer - has given me more opportunity to watch my almost teenagers interact.. It is sad to me how they tear each other down and say words that are hateful... words that cannot be taken back... Last night Dusty, my husband had the girls read out of the book of James chapter 3 last night and explain what it meant to them. And the depth of their answers and thought process amazed me. They together decided that they must stop being mean and hateful to each other... They even came up with a punishment - we all agreed was fair... and today - they each received a composition book - this book is for them to say the things that they want to say that may be negative - they put it in the book instead of on their lips.. This book is their eyes only... This book is for them to see themselves better - their sister better - their parents better - and God's mercy better.....

James 3

Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.

When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. ⁴Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.

Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such "wisdom" does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.

But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.

What Happened To Discreet?

This past weekend - my daughters and I joined Dusty (my husband) in Las Vegas.. He had been in Chicago and then flew into Vegas which is only about a four (4) hour drive from our home... He had been gone over a week and we missed him and we looked forward to having a relaxing weekend in the desert together.. What made it nicer is that we had two (2) free nights at the Flamingo. The Flamingo has a great pool area with several mini slides in a tropical paradise.... I love to stand in the freezing water with the sun beating on me and read one of my racy novels... Okay, I know I should be reading something inspirational or maybe an autobiography of a great person but I love my romantic suspense novels.. I love to get swept away by the fictional romance - Nowadays, I never have time to read.. unless it's work, church, or kid related....
On Friday night, Dusty surprised us by taking us to see the Blue Man Group - great and funny show. The kids loved it! If you have not seen the show yet - it's a must see if you ever make it out to Las Vegas..
Friday night was a beautiful night and we decided to walk from the Flamingo to the Venetian Hotel where the Blue Man Group performed. I was completely shocked and disgusted on our walk. Lined up a long the the strip were the solicitors that pass out the fliers for girls to come to your room. The fliers were actual pictures of naked women.. The fliers were card sized and they were everywhere.. All over the sidewalk - for all to see - very vivid pictures. The shirts the solicitors wore said this, " If you are in the mood for nude - a girl will be in your room in 20 minutes"..... I am not kidding....
I know these guys have been around for a very long time - but they used to be somewhat discreet. The fliers used to be copies of sexy women - women with some type of clothes on. And the guys would never ever ever pass out a flier to a man that was with a woman..... Now, the solicitors were trying to pass out pictures of naked women to my husband while he was holding hands with my eleven (11) year old daughter!!!!!
I came to realize that many things have come to pass - 1. the difficult economy we are in is causing companies that were once somewhat discreet to becoming desperate for business and discreet - no longer exists... Seriously, there was a line of ten (10) solicitors standing together - in the olden days - there was one guy on each block... 2. People have become harden to pornography - it's not a big deal anymore... On the billboard signs - there was nudity.... 3. Vegas, at one time was trying to go family friendly - well in a tough economy the family friendly venue flew out the window - as we were walking through the Excalibur to the midway - we walked right past a bar in the middle of the morning with a stripper.... Right next to the entrance to the kid zone.... Excalibur never did anything like that before.... 3. Desperate times calls for desperate measures and sex sells...
I have learned a hard lesson and unfortunately my kids did too... I can say beyond a shadow - that it will be a very long time before I take my kids back to Vegas..

Watch the Blue Group - Below

Baby Forgotten In Daycare!

Last week in Johnston, R.I., a 9 month old baby was left in a daycare... The workers forgot he was there!!! The mom was late picking him up and the the daycare workers forgot he was there!!! Yes, I am repeating myself..... I'm thinking how is this possible????
When my kids were in daycare as infants - there was one (1) daycare provider for every three (3) babies.... So I just find it so hard to believe that a 9 month old baby could be forgotten.. When the mother arrived late to pick up her son at My Special Place Early Learning Center located at 6 Borden Ave, Johnson, RI 02919 - she found the center to be locked and no one around..... A neighbor heard the distraught mother banging and yelling on the door and helped her to break in... There she found her baby - her little boy crying his head off.....
I know that if it were my kid being abandoned like that - it would take a lot of people to hold me back... a whole lot of people..... You hurt my kid.... the wrath of Mama Bear will come out with fangs and claws.. I think most moms reading this will completely agree.
You would think that the center would say how sorry they were and my gosh this is awful.... Please let us make it up to you - a free month of service or whatever.. but you know what was said???? The owner Jessica Faiola, blamed the mom!!!!! She said that the child's mom did not sign the baby in when she dropped him off... She calls is a "crazy mistake" and doesn't want to point any fingers.... huh??? The finger should be pointed at herself... or is that just me???
Kevin Savage, of the state Dept. of Children, Youth, and Families, has said that the center has been put on probation..
Watch the video below and see the the owner talking to the reports... I just want to yell at her... or is that just me too? You decide..

My Kid Is Becoming Me.....

I am beginning to think that I have become old.... To my thirteen daughter's horror - I have no problem going to the store sans make up... sans brushed hair - a clip holding my hair away from my face is okay for me.... and my clothes.. who cares .. I'M GOING TO THE STORE!!!!

The other day - I picked up my car keys to go to Target.. my kids of course ask if they could come.. sure I say - Nikki, (the 13 year old) runs upstairs... Nikki - I'm going now - are you coming or not.... Coming I hear.... still no Nik... Okay - I'm leaving without you - I holler and proceed to go to the garage... open the door... get in the car... and here comes Nikki - she changed from casual shorts and tee shirt to her favorite skinny jeans and a duel tank top number.... her once clean and wholesome face is now covered with make up... Her hair styled.... She gets in the car and whips out her make up mirror and continues to groom herself... I roll my eyes... she rolls them back at me......

As we were driving to Target - I start to think that my kid has become so vain... it's driving me nuts... We can't go anywhere without her dolling herself up and then I remember a conversation I had with my sister a few years back.... My sister was telling me how frustrated she used to get with me.. why you ask... because I would never leave the house without my make up on, my hair done, and I had to have the "right" clothes on...

It's crazy how my kid is becoming me...... but it makes sense because I have become my mother... the circle of life......

Is This Right? Or Is This Wrong,

Compulsive behavior is a difficult thing to correct.... I certainly believe that it is also contributed to your DNA - I truly believe it is hereditary.... I have suffered from compulsive behavior my entire life... First with smoking like a fiend.... and now eating like there's no tomorrow.... My dad was an alcoholic who thankfully was able to overcome that addiction but he still smoked and he still had an addictive personality... so do I.... It is a battle that I fight daily.... What is right behavior.... What is wrong behavior.....

My oldest daughter is having compulsive behavior difficulties... Both of her birth parents were recovering addicts.. they had been clean and sober for years prior to her conception -and to this day they continue to go to their AA/NA meetings to fight their compulsions on a daily basis...

When my daughter see what's she wants she just takes it... she does not think about the consequences.... this is a silly example but it's a perfect example. The other day, she asked me where the cake frosting was..... I asked her why... her answer was that she wanted to taste it... The frosting was in a can in the cupboard... She was not baking a cake... she just wanted to put her finger in and taste it and then leave the open can in the cupboard... she did not think .... she just wanted.... she did not think about the fact that the frosting will go bad... or the fact that she was not baking a cake... I know some of this is immaturity of a thirteen (13) year old.. but I see a lot of me in her....

Yesterday, we sat down and talked... I explained to her - that I too have difficulty controlling myself at times and I have to think to myself.. Is this behavior right? or is this behavior wrong? So as of yesterday the new rule for her to follow is - she needs to think before an action... if she knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that she can do the action then go ahead... but if she is not one million percent sure then she needs to ask... She will never be in trouble for asking but she will be in trouble for acting without thinking.... Is this right.... or is this wrong.... or do I know????

High-Speed Chase

Last Saturday - August 8, 2009 a car that ran a stop sign decided not to stop when the police tried to pull them over... they decided to have a high speed chase and the highway patrol made the decision to participate in this stupid game of cat and mouse.... A short time later seven (7) people are dead.... Four of those people were children - ages, 1, 3, 4, and 7....

There are two major issues - I find wrong with this... First - chasing a car that ran a stop sign is beyond dumb - Yes, follow them if it's safe... With cameras on almost every stop light (this is California) - the highway patrol could have snapped so many pictures of the driver and license plates that it would not have been difficult to track him down.. But because the police did not use good judgment - Seven people are dead....

The second major issue I find in this story is this - the driver hit a truck - killing four (4) children - the children were ejected out of the truck and died at the scene... There were a total of five (5) children and two (2) adults in this pickup truck...... I personally do not know of any pickup truck that sits seven (7) people.... These children could have been saved if they were in a proper car/truck with seat belts.... this just breaks my heart...

High speed chases have become the norm in California. I have personally witnessed three (3) while out and about.... I have seen too many to count on the news.... I do not understand why this has become an epidemic.... Do the drivers want to have their two (2) seconds of fame on the 5 o'clock news? Do they really believe they can get away?

There are very sophisticated cameras and video equipment throughout California - my question is - instead of inducing high adrenaline (all parties) and risking the lives of innocent people.. why doesn't the California Highway Patrol and other police agencies use them............

Listen to the video below - the newscaster sounds so joyful, amazed, and happy to broadcast this pursuit......

Morning Snuggles

I remember when I was a little girl, I would wake up super early on Saturday mornings to watch my favorite cartoons. Sometimes, I would be so early that I would only see test patterns.... But no matter how early I awoke, my dad would be sitting in his chair - reading the morning paper with his cup of hot tea... I would jump on his lap and ask for a sip of his sweet hot tea... By the age of six, I was making his tea and my tea on those quiet Saturday mornings... That is a happy memory I have of my dad....

When my kids were little they would wake up super early on Saturday mornings - I would hear their little feet run across the upstairs landing to my bedroom... Dusty and I would pretend to still be a sleep and then two squirmy, warm, and giggly girls would jump in our bed... We would turn the TV on and watch cartoons while we snuggled.... I hope this is a happy memory when my girls are moms.....

Today, I have a thirteen year old that woke up at noon... and my eleven year old that woke up at 6 AM to ride in the car to the airport to say goodbye to her daddy.....and when we got home.... she jumped in my bed and we snuggled.... happy memory for me...

My Daughter Cinderella

Today I just had to laugh at my oldest daughter... the attitude of a thirteen year old hormonal drama queen....

First off , I like to believe my kids have a pretty privileged life. They both have their own rooms with their own TV sets, IPODS, DSLites, computers, and bathroom.. They go to a very nice private Christian school, they live in sunny California, they play tennis 3-4 days a week with a great coach, and they get a monthly allowance of $20 that goes into their savings account for future endeavors and $5 a week allowance for helping around the house when asked... When I have a big project, I will also add bonuses to the allowance..... Oh, one more thing - they've been to Disneyland 9 times in the last 3 weeks... I'm not bragging - I'm just setting the drama up.... They do not lack for attention - I am a very hands on mom and my husband is very involved too... I am very lucky to be able to work from my home office so I am basically at my kids beck and call.... most of the time anyway...

So to the drama.... After church, we like to get all the laundry done, clean up the backyard, and basically straighten up the house.... Today, my husband gave the task of folding the laundry to my oldest ( 85% of the clothes are hers - she changes 3-5 times a day -seriously). In addition to the laundry, she was to put all the shoes lying around the house away - again mostly hers, and she needed to pick up the dog poop.... I did it yesterday- so there was very little.... My youngest also had her share of chores.. We are equal opportunity chore givers.....

Husband: After your done putting your clothes away - don't forget to pick up the dog poop..

Daughter: I feel like a slave - I always have to do everything around here.....

Husband: Are you serious?

Daughter: Yes, there's a show on TV I want to watch... (eyes tearing up) I don't
understand why I have to do this - that's what moms are for..... and I am on summer vacation! (stomps off to room)

Husband: Laughs... "Don't forget the dog poop, Cinderella!"

Life is just so difficult for kids today..... The funny thing about the story it's a show she had seen - oh about 10 times........

I'm Am Not A Hypochondriac

One of my biggest fears is dying before my kids grow up. Every little mole.. lump... dizzy feeling... and whatever feeling I have is evaluated and if I think it is serious I go to the doctor.. Don't get me wrong, I am not a hypochondriac - I don't live at the doctor's office nor do I feel like I am dying just yet.. I do not have good DNA- a family legacy of cancer and heart disease... and I rather look any potential health risk in the face rather than bury my head in the sand... Both grandmothers had breast cancer, aunts and uncles died of cancer, several first cousins have died of cancer, and my dad had tongue cancer but died from a bad heart...

I have been getting yearly mammograms since I was 32 years old - next one is due next month. I already had to fight my first cancer battle 5 years ago when my doctor discovered a rare form of vulva cancer caused from the HPV virus (that will be a different blog)... Because of this weird virus - I had a section of my vulva removed and have to see an oncologist every 6 months... Joy!! Us ladies sure do love our gynecologist appointments, don't we?... yuck!

While on vacation in the Bahamas a few years ago - I discovered that I had blood after a BM. It did not stop but continued to get worse. When I came home, my doctor thought it was a hemorrhoid - but he did send me to another doctor to get evaluated for a colonoscopy. Sure enough, I had to have one and the doctor found 3 very large polyps - the kind that can turn to colon cancer.... Went back the following year for a follow up and discovered a couple of small ones. The doctor advised me to come back every two years.... Mind you today, I am 43 years old....

I will continue to be poked and prodded if that is what it takes to be in control of my health... To be able to continue being healthy for my kids.. for my husband... and for me... I am lucky to be able to go to any doctor at anytime... I don't need to get an authorization... I don't need to wait to see a specialist... I just go and my insurance will cover it... Granted we pay very high premiums for this luxury.. but it's worth it to me...

In 1994 - I had a fever of unknown origin... The doctors were stumped.... I did not have to wait for tests.. I did not have to wait to see a doctor.... After about the tenth blood test - the doctor calls me to tell me my kidneys are not working and I was rushed to the hospital.... I truly believe if I had a HMO or socialized medicine - I would be dead....

I will not get into a debate about socialized medicine or Obama's health care whatever...... I will be honest and say - I don't know enough to have an educated conversation or debate and silly me I am okay in my ignorance.... I do not believe that the government should run our choices of who we see and when see them... I believe in a free democracy..... I believe in being in charge of my own health....

Octomom Reality Show.. Say It Isn't So....

While reading my Star magazine - I ran across a blurb that says that Nadya Suleman aka Octomom has closed a deal with the producers of The Biggest Loser to follow her life as a mother of 14 kids.... Each kid will earn $250 per day of shooting... Filming begins Sept 1....

I hope hope hope this is a tabloid fabrication... please please let it be false.... If this is true, reality TV has sunk to a level lower than pond scum.... I cannot stand rewarding losers for narcissistic behavior - yep that means Jon and Kate too... Take this Trash off TV.... please... Raising children with values today is difficult enough and to see this garbage is just too much....

Nadya Suleman was unemployed and on public assistance when she conceived the octuplets and her other six older children... Shame on that doctor for giving this woman in-vitro fertilization.. What were they thinking???? When the media got wind of the birth of eight babies - the public was in awe.. who was this mother? No one expected her to be a single mother with 6 other kids on public assistance.... the public outrage could be heard across the state of California... Especially a bankrupt state paying for 14 babies conceived with taxpayers monies and provided for with taxpayers monies.. Personally that part does not bug me as much as the welfare of those poor babies.. I know when my girls were babies I held them and loved them all day - how can one person hold and love 8 babies all day.....?

I truly feel sorry for the children... Okay, this might offend some but I have to say it.... If the Octomom really loved her children she would let parents who will love them individually adopt them.. I am a mother of two adopted children and I truly believe adoption is a wonderful selfless act by the birth parents... Here's a mom without a job, without a husband, and who cannot possibly take care of 14 children... it's not possible... Her children have become a dollar sign to her not a child to be cherished and loved.... And the fact that several of the children will be and are special needs children makes it even more difficult to understand how she could be so selfish... Children need to be love and nurtured....

Today, August 7, 2009 - A California appeals court ruled that Nadya Suleman's octuplets do not need to have a court-appointed guardian to oversee their estate. The Fourth District Court of Appeal issued the temporary stay Thursday. It overturns last month's order by a Superior Court probate judge appointing an independent lawyer to watch over the babies' finances. The probate judge had said he wanted to ensure the babies weren't exploited by tabloid photos or other paid ventures... Paul Peterson, a former Disney Mouseketeer who is an advocate for the fair treatment of children in entertainment, filed the petition seeking the independent lawyer in Orange County.. The next hearing is scheduled for August 20.....

The Black Widow Wanna Be

I am betting Michael Dippolito, a married man of six months was surprised to find out that his bride, Dalia Dippolito tried to hire a hit man to kill him this week.... seriously... The only comment from Michael's camp is that, "The more Michael thinks about it, the more things that have happened over the past couple of months are starting to make sense to him.".... ouch...

Dalia somehow contacted an undercover police officer who was posing as a hit man earlier this week. She paid for a handgun and $3,000 in cash... When the undercover officer asked her several times if she was sure she wanted her husband dead - the cold hearted woman laughed..... and said "I'm 5000 percent sure I want it done.. When I set my mind to something, I get it done"... That in my opinion is just pure evil...

She worked out an alibi - gave a picture of her husband - keys to the house - cash to the "killer" and went to the gym..... What she did not know is that the police department created a very elaborate sting operation.... The police contacted Dalia at the gym and told her to come home. When she arrived home there was yellow police tape everywhere - several police officers telling her that her husband was dead.... Watch the video - she's crying - knowing what I know - I can't help but get sick to my stomach..

The Black Widow wanna- be was brought down to the Police Station - I wish I was a fly on the wall when she sees the "Hit man" and her husband drinking a cup of coffee together.....

Dalia Dippolito was charged with solicitation to commit first degree murder... I hope she stays in jail a very long long time.....

Adultery Due To The Recession?

I recently read an article that said that divorces were down but Adultery was at an all time high.. Why you may ask... Because of the recession..... people cannot afford to divorce in today's economy so they cheat... Oh geez..... This really ticks me off.

Everywhere you go - TV movies, magazines, and talk shows glorify cheating on your spouse.... We're not in love anymore.... He/She doesn't understand me..... They don't listen to me... Sex has gotten boring.. and on and on the stories and the whining go..... Jon and Kate are a prime example of cheating and giving up... They have to be the most narcissistic parents on planet Earth... Eight beautiful children - so they cheat on each other.... they break up..... and their TV show is going to show this to the viewing audience... and make excuses for it.... How sad.. really.... shame on them... shame on TLC....

In the wedding vows - it does NOT say - cheat or divorce when things get boring or hard.. It says forsaking ALL others in the good and the bad....

Granted I am against divorce now - (I didn't use to be but I am now - thanks to the Love Dare and my relationship with Christ..) But I am off the charts against cheating. So much so that I will stand on my soapbox and go on and on about the grossness of it... The putting your spouse's life in jeopardy part of it.. Forget the fact that the person is breaking an important trust.... Think about all the diseases out there that the spouse could and probably will bring home.. Can you tell I am getting heated up just writing this.....?

Per the article written by Bruce Watson - While accepted wisdom hold that adversity can bring people closer together, the recent recession has shown that, in reality, the opposite may well be the case. With finances getting stretched thin and economic pressures driving wedges between many couples, adultery seems to be emerging as a coping strategy for many unhappy marrieds..

What really gets my goat is that many companies have launched websites that facilitate partner to partner cheating.. Yes, you read that right.... Biderman's company, Ashley Madison.com click on the link and check it out for yourself -to marvel at what some companies will do to make a buck... This site is growing in popularity and it is so sad....

In Him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace. Ephesians 1:7 In Him we have the model of what rejected love does... It stays faithful!

Don't Text And Drive

One of my biggest pet peeves is people texting on their cellphones.... while driving... The other day, I honked my horn at the driver in front of me to move after the light had turned green... I waited at least 10 seconds - seriously... I'm not that rude.... okay, maybe I am.. People should not text while they are driving.....

The smart people at Virginia Tech Transportation Institute has confirmed that texting while driving increases the chance of getting into an accident by about 2000 Percent... no really? Drivers are 23 times more likely to crash if they are texting.. so the study claims..

On July 31 in New York, a tow truck driver crashed into a car, then crashed through a fence, side swiped a house, and then crashed into a swimming pool while he was texting... How fast was the moron going, I wonder? He was talking on one phone and texting on a different phone.... what was he driving with his feet? Thankfully the 68 year old woman he crashed into suffered minor head injuries and did not die.. What was the guy thinking?

There is just something about texting that people are fascinated with - it's funny how I can call my kid on her cell and she won't answer - but if I text her.. immediately I get response - same with the husband, my sister.... several friends..... There's just something about it and that's okay.. Just DON'T TEXT WHILE YOU'RE DRIVING.... Please.. see I am nice....

Men And Their Waffles...

In my Sunday school class we are studying the book Men Are Like Waffles--Women Are Like Spaghetti: Understanding and Delighting in Your Differences this is a great study to help understand the differences between how women think and how men think... After 20 years of marriage, I am beginning to realize that God just programed us differently and if we make the effort to better understand those difference then we are must better off... I'm much better off..

One of the main points this study/book illustrates is that men are pretty much like waffles in the way that they put things/thoughts into boxes... They usually can only do one thing at a time... focus on one thing at at a time and they can do that one thing very well...... Women on the other hand are very much like spaghetti... Spaghetti? You may ask.. Well yes - and every mother that reads this will agree.. women are experts at multi-tasking - that's just what we do.... that is just how God intended us to be.. We can cook, clean, work, and change a diaper all at the same time.... This by no means is saying women are better than men.. we are not.. We are just created differently to compliment each other with our different ways of doing things...

I try very hard not to get frustrated when my husband walks by his pile of clean clothes to put away.... He is not purposely avoiding the clothes... he just doesn't see them when the Dodgers are playing on the boob tube... He is in his waffle/box and enjoying the game.... but if I ask him nicely to put them away during commercial break... no problem..

So this morning, when I was reading my daily news on line, I just had to laugh at this video of a dad at a ball game. Holding a small kid, a huge soda, and still managing to catch a fly ball.... I'm thinking this guy has a little spaghetti in him.... What do you think?