Sunday, February 28, 2010

It's Impossible To Be a Lousy Husband and A Great Dad


I was listening to a lecture not too long ago about the roles of husbands and wives and one of the comments that stood out like a beacon to me was this - "You'll hear things like he is a lousy husband but he's a great dad - but in reality if he's not a great husband it is impossible for him to be a great dad."

Parents are the main role models for their children and if one or both spouses do not treat each other with love and understanding then how will their children learn? Growing up my dad was a very loud and vocal kind of person - quick to anger - quick to yell - quick to accuse - very slow to acknowledge his own mistakes if he ever did - very slow to apologize if he ever did.... My mom - I believe tried to take care of us kids without gaining the attention or wrath of my dad.... He was a fearsome man...

When my temper flares - I can hear my dad speaking through me and that is something I do not want to hear.... ever.. I do know because of my faith - I am quick to apologize and I am quick to acknowledge my mistakes but I am also very quick to yell.... I have gotten better and I am still working on it.... My husband on the other hand takes after both of his parents - he just shuts down - does not know how to communicate - I can physically see his eyes glaze over whenever a conflict arises... We both inherited not the best characteristics from our parents... and our children have a high risk of inheriting them too....

As a mother I want it all for my kids - the best of everything - spiritually, life fulfilling, and everything that is good... I want my girls to one day marry a man that lifts them up - that treasures them.. that loves them... I want my girls to believe they deserve it and in return I want my girls to know how to love with all their heart. I don't want my girls to yell or shut down- I want them to handle conflict differently - live differently...better... and they learn all that from me and their dad......

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Sopa de Tortilla | Kelly's Ideas

Sopa de Tortilla | Kelly's Ideas

Facing the Giants - Getting the Quotes | Amazing Salvation

Facing the Giants - Getting the Quotes | Amazing Salvation

My Kids Miss Me...


When my oldest daughter was born - I knew that I would not.... could not work outside of the home. I wanted to be there for ALL her firsts... So I started my own contract processing business. It was the best time in the market to make that change - Contractors were in high demand and my little business fell into place perfectly... The business took off so fast that I ended up hiring a full time nanny to help... I was still in the home and could see Nikki anytime.... Baby #2 came into our lives and our hearts and I was lucky enough to continue as status quo. I was able to be mommy and still help with the family finances..... I had the best of both worlds... Two incredible kids, bringing in an income, and being able to stay at home....

Now fast forward thirteen (13) years.... The kids are doing great - They are both very high academic achievers - both have a lot of outside activities - from tennis to youth group to everything else in between... They are both basically very happy kids except..... they both miss me... They both want my undivided attention... They both want to cuddle.... they both want to talk and be silly..... and they are tired of coming into my office to see me... Even though my office is in our home - at times it might as well be somewhere else....

My problem is that I love what I do - I really do... I thrive on the busyness of doing multiple tasks at once - I thrive on being self employed and not having to work for someone else.... And call me crazy - I sometimes like working all day.... all night.... But with that said - my kids are not loving it....

This is a common problem among working moms - where is the line? Many times we don't have a choice.... In today's economy we want to provide what's best for our family and working is something that many of us have to do.... There are moms out there that are completely against working moms and believe that certain sacrifices need to be made and that's okay but I'm not one of those moms.... My priority in this season in my life is to continue working so that my kids won't have to when they go away to University.... My priority is to go on incredible journeys with my kids... Go to Disneyland with them as much as possible.... My priority is to spend quality time with them and making it count...

I am glad that I can work from home and I love that my kids still love to be with me... I am a very lucky mom and I know I need to put boundaries on my work time and I am working on that but with that said - college is in a very short 4.5 years and I want my kids to soak it in - love it... remember it and not have to worry.....

What do you think?

Friday, February 26, 2010

From Spouses To Roommates | Amazing Salvation

From Spouses To Roommates | Amazing Salvation

Three Tween Girls Together.... Not A Good Thing


I have to say that I truly disliked junior high school - especially 6th and 7th grade... Girls are just mean... moody.. back stabbing... and the list goes on... Watching my girls go through the pain is hard... Yesterday, my youngest had her first taste of how awful this age group can be... One minute the "friend" proclaims they are best friends forever and then the next minute - she can't be friends... Oh the drama....

When I picked up my baby from school yesterday - I could tell right away something was wrong... her checks were rosy and she looked so sad.. She told me that out of the blue - E (friend) said that S( other friend) missed having E to herself and that S doesn't want to hang out with my kid anymore... My kid thought that was strange because S is always so kind and goes out of her way to be sweet whereas E is very bossy..... Sometimes it really sucks being a grown up because all I really wanted to do was go yell in E's face.. but being a grown up - I can't do those things anymore... So I just listened.... and tried to remember how girls were at that age....

The more I thought about it the more I was convinced that E was lying to my kid... So my motherly (grown up) advise was not to overreact - not to be mean - my kid is friends on Facebook with S and she sent her a private message saying that E told her that S did not want to be friends. My kid continued to say that she did not understand because they had so much fun together and if that's what she wants then that's okay.... I approved of this message because - S is a good kid and S is in a different class and if my kid tried to talk to her at recess or lunch then E would cause a problem and to avoid the drama - I approved.... The message was simple - not mean - and opened the door for response.... as it turns out E did lie.... Basically E did not like that my kid and S were becoming better friends and E wanted to separate S and my kid..

S responded right back to my kid and did not start trash talking E which I had to respect -she said that E had told her that my kid did not want to be friends and that S was hurt too... So the story is that E told S and my kid different stories to tear them apart.. Are you following? One of the things - I do remember very well from junior high is that 3 girls together is never a good combination - one is always left out.... and it may not be the same one every time - they take turns.... the vicious cycle... My threesome friendship in the 7th grade ended up with me breaking a nose and it wasn't mine...... I soooooo DO NOT want that happening here.... I am thankful that my kid chooses to think first and react last.... and always wants to choose love and forgiveness..


Getting In Shape For The Summer | Kelly's Ideas

Getting In Shape For The Summer | Kelly's Ideas

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

My Kid Learned The "F" Word In Bible Class


I'm driving my kids home from their ultra conservative Christian school and my oldest daughter tells me she learned all about the "F" word in bible class... I'm sure my eyes bugged out as my mouth hit the gas pedals.... What???? This is the school that had my kid empty out the goody bags I brought to school for Halloween because they had pumpkins on them... The pumpkins were considered pagan by the school/church - my church has a different take on the pumpkin - but whatever...

She said that her bible teacher said in the olden days - soldiers would take over villages and the king of the soldiers gave a command for the soldiers to rape/fornicate the women and kill the men... Raping was the most demeaning thing they could do the villagers... This is how villages were taken over.....

Fornication
Under
Command
of the King...


I was pretty shocked they would talk about the "F" word - but I think the main reason for the discussion was to teach the kids how awful that word really is. I'm thinking the next time one of those junior highers wants to say the word they might think twice..... I know I would... Just the imagery alone is enough - don't you think? I'm also thinking my kid probably told me the story because as I have shared on this blog a time or two - I am guilty of using that bomb a little more often than I should...

**Note - I googled the origins of the word and it stated this story however popular is not true - but personally - if it works to keep kids from saying this word then that's okay with me....

Monday, February 22, 2010

It's About Forgiveness - Tiger Woods


I am a fan of Tiger Woods - I have always thought of him as an excellent golfer... an excellent role model, and an excellent philanthropist.... and he still is.... Before you all get mad at that comment - let me say this... He messed up Big Time... Huge... and he and his wife are paying the price for it... One Huge mess up that may have lasted years - does NOT take away from the fact that Tiger has done much good too....

I do NOT condone having affairs.... Personally, if I caught my husband cheating - he would probably be singing an octave higher.... but you know - I would probably forgive him.... Why, you may ask... The answer is simple - by not forgiving him - I am hurting myself... my family... my faith. That is not to say that I would not make him suffer for a while... but in all honesty - I think I would want to work on getting happy again... trusting again... Life is too short to suffer.. to be sad and to hate the man - I promised to love and honor for the rest of my life... Through all the broken promises... lies... deceit - I would have to find a way to make it work... and I believe that is what Tiger and his wife are trying to do....

What is extremely sad to me is how the media is handling the pain of the Woods Family.. Because the Woods chose to keep their relationship out of the news and not go around as if they were Jon and Kate...the media is crucifying them... You can't turn on the TV or walk through a market check out without seeing some rumor about Tiger or his wife - who is the innocent party here....

I was interested on what Tiger had to say to the media last Friday... I did not watch the entire speech - but I did watch enough to conclude the man is in pain.... he has an addiction and he and his wife are trying to save their marriage and work through this pain.... I truly believe that sex addiction is a serious thing... I personally know an incredible person that has fought this addiction her entire life... It's an addiction like any other addiction - it kills you.. the person you are meant to be and the ones who love you...

One last thing - What really got my temper burning up and made me want to jump through the TV and go on a slapping spree were the women Tiger was involved with... A few of the women said they wanted an apology from Tiger and that they were hurt... Give me a Flipping break! These women had an affair with a married man and they want an apology..... seriously... What they need to do is ask for forgiveness from Mrs. Woods and get a life.....!!!!!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Girls Day Out - Preteen Style

As I shared with you - my daughter Kara turned 12 this week.. Her birthday present was an outfit from head to toe... She wanted to invite two (2) friends for shopping and lunch. So I surprised the girls with a manicure and pedicure - lunch - shopping - and Jamba Juice... We had a great time. The girls were thrilled to get their nails done... This a special birthday - the last one before her teens... yikes - What out world...

The Toes





The hands





The Lunch



The Outfit


The Matching Triplet Shirts..



The Jamba Juice



And Finally - the mom is dangerous with a camera and I can't believe she did it!

No, I Don't Want To Listen | Amazing Salvation

No, I Don't Want To Listen | Amazing Salvation: "As I shared before - I am going through a thing... And this thing is driving me insane - crazy...I want to say that I Don't know what to do ...that I Don't know what to say.. that I Don't know how to have my cake and eat it too.. But the truth of the matter is I do know what I have to do... and my sin... my want... is making it a tough choice.... But like I said - God makes it clear and apparent what He wants.. so much so that it is impossible to turn the other way..."

My Grown Up Love Song.... | Kelly's Ideas

My Grown Up Love Song.... | Kelly's Ideas

Friday, February 19, 2010

Crazy Love Week 1 | Amazing Salvation

Crazy Love Week 1 | Amazing Salvation

My Mini Backyard Resort | Kelly's Ideas

My Mini Backyard Resort | Kelly's Ideas

My Daughter and I 80's style....


This week was wacky week at Nikki's school - the 8th grader... She could not wait until decade day because she wanted to dress like I did in college.... It's funny, she loves the big hair... the bright colors... and did I mention the big hair... I went through a can of hairspray a week in those days.. The teasing.. the spraying... the teasing some more..

I started going through some old pictures of me in those days... and I have to laugh out loud... Not only was my hair high - my friends had high and crazy hair too - What the heck were we thinking...
Looking at these pictures brought back some good memories... I haven't always been a boring mom and wife... I used to be pretty fun.... I do remember winning a belly button contest once.. but that's another story.. maybe.. So I thought I would share what I looked like... funny -

I'm the really tan one on the right.... Those were the days I would lay out for hours with only baby oil for protection.... When you're 21 you don't think about skin cancer..



This picture was taken on my 21st birthday - I have no idea who the guy is..... but I do remember it was a really fun night...



This picture just makes me laugh... my friend had a camera and she wanted poses... geez...

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Why Does Temptation Look So Good? | Amazing Salvation

Why Does Temptation Look So Good? | Amazing Salvation

My Birthday Wish For Kara




Today my youngest celebrated her twelfth birthday. We had a good day - first stop buying 28 donuts to share with her 6th grade class - a surprise lunch, I surprised her at school and took her to Subway - her choice, and tonight we went to TGI Friday's... Saturday is when she will really celebrate when her dad is back in town.... Her present this year is to spend the day with her two best friends - shopping for an outfit from head to toe... that is our present for her this year... Her Wish is my command....

I did not understand love until I became a mother... I have a love that is so incredibly strong - that I would die for her.... A love that is beyond measure.. A love that is unconditional.... A love that is agape.... Being a mother helps me to understand God's love for us....

My Wish For Kara on her 12th Birthday..

I wish you happiness...
I wish you love...
I wish you success in all that you do...
I wish you peace.... comfort... and joy
I wish you self confidence
I wish you never lose your innocence
I wish you never lose your wonder..
I wish you a daughter just like you.....

Kara, you have been a joy to me. You have always been my "Sunshine" girl.... Always happy.. Always quick with the hugs... Always quick with the kisses... Always quick with the laughter... I am proud of you sweetheart - I look forward to watching you become the incredible woman that you are destined to be.....

I love you.... Happy Birthday - Wow, almost a teenager! yikes..

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Dear John - | Kelly's Ideas

Dear John - | Kelly's Ideas

The ABC's Of Me


The ABC's of Me

A while back I was asked to do the ABC's of Me - and I had a hard time thinking some up - I still do - but here goes.... To add to the pressure - I am inviting my fellow blogger friends to join me. Link up with Mr.Linky

A - Always too early for a movie - the 1st one in the theater - drives my kids insane...

B - Busty - yep you read that right - not a brag seriously... more of a complaint.

C - Careful - I am not a risk taker

D - Dry - I have a very dry sense of humor and sometimes others just don't get me..

E - Encourager - I strive to bring comfort to those in need... (whether they want it or not - jk)

F - Fearful - of heights, planes, and elevators

G - Graphic - sometime - I give a little too much information... no really - haven't you read my blogs

H - Honor - I give honor to those who serve and protect our nation

I - Inspired - I am inspired by so many things.....

J - Just Get OVER IT... I hate pity parties.....

K - My first kiss was with someone who did not speak English in the 9th grade...

L - Love - I love with all my heart and soul....

M - Malt balls are my favorite candy - hand over the Whoppers, please.

N - Naughty - I have a naughty sense of humor....

O - Open - I am an open book - no secrets here... Okay, maybe 1 or 2.... shhhh

P - The patience gene really did pass me... I keep praying for it....

Q - Quiet - I really really like quiet - I am NOT a background noise kind of person

R - Restless - I cannot sit still - I have restless leg syndrome - my legs are a kick en

S - Sleuth - I cannot stand a mystery - I have to solve it or know it

T - Temper - enough said...

U - I never use an umbrella when it rains - I like getting wet - and cold.. and drippy..

V - Vanity drives me up the wall - do not put your makeup on in the car - I might bump you!

W - Waiting - is not something I care to do..... and everyone that is around me when I do wait knows it... - I'm just saying...

Y - the color yellow on me - is not a good thing.... It makes me look green and sickly...

Z - Driving home from San Francisco on HWY 1 - I saw a herd of zebras.. really

So there you have it - link up and share the ABC's of you....

Sunday, February 14, 2010

They May Stray..


I was talking with a friend the other day.. We were talking about the challenges we face raising our children... The values and beliefs we try to teach them... The rights and wrongs of life... We try to give enough freedom so that they can learn and grow - but also set boundaries so that they will not stray too far from home..

As children and teenagers - our kids learn from our example... When our children go off to college - then they learn from their teacher's example... My hope and prayer is that my children will be strong in their beliefs and in their convictions and not change what they stand for because it is the popular thing to do... I hope and I pray that my girls will continue to weigh right and wrong and always choose right...

My friend was saddened because her son's belief system is completely different from when he was home... The Christian values they held as a family were tossed away.... because one professor told her son that there was no God.... and because there was no God - then everything that they had known to be true was also false...

Challenging ideas and beliefs is part of growing up.. I think.... In making their own decisions, they find themselves or at times lose themselves in the decisions they make... But this is something they must do to become strong in their adult life - it's part of breaking away from the apron strings.... and during this time we need to continue to love.... continue to support... continue to show our beliefs by example... Shoving our belief system down our child's throats will not help ... They grew up in our homes.. they already know what we believe even though they may act like they forgot... We need to continue to be their parents... continue to just be ourselves...

The Bible says that if we raise our children in the right direction... they may stray from the path... but they will find their way back.. So my job today, is to continue raising my children in the ways of the Lord... Give them their freedom inch by inch and pray for them everyday...

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

I Choose To Love My Husband | Amazing Salvation

I Choose To Love My Husband | Amazing Salvation

Squirt Time


This morning my kids informed me that our family is different than All of their friends... First I thought that comment was funny because I remember as a kid that I thought ALL my friends lived in a far more fun and cool home.... So I asked my kids - What makes us different...

Well, we want to go to Lauren's house because her parents let her eat candy whenever she wants.. and if we go over - Lauren said that her parents would buy more candy for us..... She doesn't have to ask like we do....

Well, when I go to Disneyland with Emily her dad - has "squirt time" and makes us wash our hands with hand sanitizer after every ride ... And when we get to her house - we have to take our shoes off and go wash our hands..... You don't care if we wear shoes in the house and if we wash our hands or not....

Well, Lizzie parents let her date boys..... (she's 13) - You don't even let me talk on the phone to boys.. (she has never had a call from a boy to test this theory - but I like her way of thinking!)

Well, all my friends get to stay up late... You make me go to bed by 10:30!


What made me laugh the most was after hearing their numerous "complaints" - I realized more than ever - that Yes, I HAVE BECOME MY MOTHER! and you know what? That's not a bad thing..... On a side note - my youngest thinks that Emily's dad is a little weird with the "Squirt Time".......

Monday, February 8, 2010

Football Fan For The Day..


I am so NOT a football fan.... Never watch it... So when Super Bowl Sunday came - I thought I would rest.... watch a chic flick.... read.... sleep.... Anything but watch the game... I am a Rebel... So, the husband and kids went to our neighbors to watch the game.... Right when I got into a pretty good REM cycle - the phone rings...
Dusty (husband) - "When do you think you can come over?"
Me whining "I don't wanna - I'm resting..."

Dusty - "The girls will come get you at half time"
Me: "Um - no thanks..."

Then the anti-neighborly guilt hits me.... so I walk over to the neighbors -thinking I'll only be there for a while.... I have to be friendly - ya know.... I am glad I did... The game was incredible - right from the moment I sat down to watch - close scoring... good plays.... I was on the on the edge of my seat.... All along I wanted the Saints to win mostly due to the fact most of my friends were Colt fans and I had to be the "Rebel" - yeah me.. The game got so good - I was up jumping and yelling and clapping - Dusty looked at me as if I were insane...

In this instance - I was a football fan for the day (Dusty don't get any ideas) I was very touched at the end when one of the star player (don't ask me the name - I don't watch football, remember) was holding his toddler (the baby had headphones on) and tears were in the players eyes.... just thinking about that moment makes me well up too.... What an incredible moment to share with his family...

Saturday, February 6, 2010

This My Deathbed


I started smoking when I was 12 years old - I would steal my parents cigarettes and smoke them in my bedroom - it was hard to tell I smoked due to the fact both of my parents were very heavy smokers and the house was in a constant cloud.... As I got older the cigarette intake increased... By the time I hit forty (40) years old - I was smoking two (2) packs a day - I was constantly trying to hide the fact that I was smoking from my husband.... from everyone.... I had an addiction and I would almost do anything to continue it.... Even watching my dad die from the effects of smoking did not affect me... He had his flippin tongue cut out due to cancer - he had a trache and could never eat or drink food again and I still continued to inhale away until.....

I had a cyst in my mouth that had to be removed - I went to an oral surgeon and I was having my blood pressure monitored... My pressure was so very high - the doctor thought I could stroke out... No lie.. It was over 200 on the top number and over 100 on the bottom - the normal is 120/80... That was the kick in the head I needed.. I came home - picked up the pack of cigs I had just bought - broke them up into tiny little pieces - knowing that if I did not I would dig through the trash to unearth them - coffee grounds and all... I fell down onto my knees and I prayed... Prayed to God to take this addiction from me so that I can live my for my girls... I need to be here for my kids because no one could love them the way I do.... I remember crying while praying - I had never in my life just thrown myself on God like that... I was at the bottom and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt I could NOT do it alone

My want was gone - I gained about 50 pounds but you know what - that's okay. My cravings for a smoke are gone..... I don't even think about it... I do see a change of habits though. I no longer talk on the phone like I used to - smoking and talking went hand in hand. I talk on my cell while I'm driving (I have an ear piece) instead of smoking.... I don't read as many books as I did before either and you know what - that's okay too. I know that I will be here for my girls and that is all that matters to me....

This song is a story about an addiction - it's a sad story and song - let me know what you think... I really believe it will touch you.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Sisters In the Sixties.....



I love this picture of me and my sisters - I am the youngest - I was the much loved and spoiled baby of the family... I think to my sisters I was both a joyful distraction and a bothersome pain... Now that I am in my 40's and both of them are in their 50's - it's hard to imagine us being this young... Funny - I do remember this couch - it was a gruesome green/blue plastic thing.... Must have been the thing to own with kids.....

Thank you More Than Words for letting me join you in Friday Photo Flashback. This was fun!


Thursday, February 4, 2010

One Goes To School... The Other Disneyland....

Today one daughter went to school.... the other daughter had the day off and went to Disneyland with her friend...

The daughter that went to school - wants special one on one time with me.... (she's a little jealous)and I don't mind.... So tomorrow night I am taking my eldest - my 13 year old out on a date.... shhh don't tell her it's a surprise...

First we are going to share a dinner at our favorite sushi place..... and then off to see Dear John - she's been wanting to see that since the first time she saw it advertised back in October.....

I do have to crack up at my youngest who went off to Disneyland..... check out the picture below and you'll see what I mean.... She's the one that is NOT green.....

It's crazy- they look so old with those bodies.... is this a glimpse of the future?

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Full Disclosure.....

We have this neighbor that lives behind us that drives us INSANE.... Mad call the cops - yell out the window INSANE.... If it's not their dog barking - it's their loud into the wee morning hour parties - or it's their boom box blaring out the window - pointing towards their backyard and MY HOUSE!!! One night - I am not kidding - they had a full mariachi band with trumpets playing at MIDNIGHT!

Yes, I have walked over to their home but no one ever answers the door during the morning, day, or early evening... I have left very nice notes asking to please not have their dogs outside barking after 11 PM - They complied with our request for about a week... About a year ago their daughter was going to celebrate her 18th birthday party - she went to all the neighbors and gave her dad's business card. Because of this gesture - we gladly ignored the party that night.. During the summer hours when our window is open - they had parties - screaming jump in the pool at 3 AM parties - the police have come out on several occasions - and it's not just the kids - it's the adults too that keep on partying - every flippin night... I have called the dad - and that works for about a minute.....

I received an email the other day with this picture... I instantly thought if we were going to move - I would probably have to put this on the lawn because Full Disclosure is the law! Just kidding......


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